Monday, December 30, 2019

2019 in 12 Photos

I feel like I say this every year, but I think my largest accomplishment of 2019 was being even less on top of things than I was last year.

True as it may be, I still can't deny there were plenty of amazing moments along the way. And the ones that were complete fails? Well, they at least make entertaining stories later on.

In 12 photos, here  they are: the Unremarkable Files memorable moments of 2019.

In January, the kids enjoyed our annual gingerbread house smash. We went sledding in -1 degree weather and finally figured out why we can't arrive at church on time. Not that it helps.

I wrote a 6-month update on giving our high schooler a phone (well, it's technically our phone that she's permitted to use as long as she follows the rules) and the best way to stop refereeing your kids' fights.

I also wrote descriptions for TED talks my preschooler could give and a sarcastic post inspired by watching my children picking apart their lunches and realizing they don't know how sandwiches work.

Visiting an ice castle in February was a fun experience for everyone, except for Phillip and the child who threw up on him in the gift shop.

These 7 funny text exchanges between Disney characters were mostly likely prompted by a viewing of the original Little Mermaid, where I had the horrifying realization that Ariel has no fingernails.

My absolute favorite project on the blog this year was working with my kids to create this video Why Moms Can't Practice Mindfulness. (They were total naturals at demonstrating why.)

I also wrote about our family's Valentine's Day traditions and how parenting sometimes means getting woken up at 6AM to look up booger facts online. Parenthood is weird.

The children kept themselves busy by vandalizing the sofa (pictured above) and I was the sickest I have ever been with a stomach bug. When I recovered, I humiliated myself in front of the high school health teacher and attempted to cook vegan meat which went exactly like you imagine.

If you'd like to know more about what I was up to all month, please see this visual representation of all the ways your kids will push your buttons as well as this alphabetical list of reasons my toddler has cried. It may help you to understand.

My children tried (and failed) to be diplomatic when I made disastrous rolls for Easter dinner, we dyed Ukranian Easter eggs, and my teenager proved you can find absolutely anything on the Internet, including someone playing Canon in D on a rubber chicken.

On the blog, I wrote about the top 5 most awkward situations I've been in (believe me, it was hard to narrow them down.)

I also created these 13 hilariously appropriate sympathy cards for parents. Please share one with a friend when the right occasion arises.

For my 36th birthday I was thrilled when Phillip bought me a new set of dishes to replace our broken ones... and even more thrilled when he served me a brownie and ice cream inside them and told me he got them on clearance for $11.

I went to a friend's college graduationdropped my phone in the toilet, and ranted about the Thomas the Train book from hades that my child brought home from the library.

I wrote an article on all the weird food my 3-year-old served me from his play kitchen, unhelpful tips for date nights after you have kids, and some slightly more realistic inclusions for your next Mother's Day coupon book from your kids (save it and send to your husband in 2020.)

School let out and we started our educational summer vacation. By the end of it, my kids had learned all about the countries of New ZealandPolandVietnamPanama, and Rwanda, and I was completely exhausted.

There was a 16th wedding anniversary, bushes that looked like poop emojis, and more poison ivy than I ever want to deal with for the rest of my life. Phillip tricked me into singing a duet in front of everybody and apparently I have nightmares about things like buying a new couch now.

I also have NO IDEA what I'm doing parenting a teenager. None.

A good part of July was dedicated to an epic family vacation to the West Coast. After two weeks, we came home from an Evans family reunion and a tour of the Oregon/Washington coast with a ton of memories and dirty laundry.

I was proud to win the award for World's Meanest Mom for refusing to let my kids eat popsicles for breakfast, and even found the time to write a killer acceptance speech for the honor.

The older went to visit their grandparents for a week and we all drowned in leftovers because I have no clue how to cook for a small group.

The 7-year-old started horseback riding lessons and I was diagnosed with cutaneous lupus after a biopsy where I almost passed out, and the kids were late for swimming lessons every day.

My writing style was described to me as "passively-aggressively funny," which I kind of like and am in the process of trying to fit on a business card, and I wrote this recap of the odd jobs I've worked in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

In September the kids started school again, and I may or may not have tried a few of these back-to-school spells and incantations to avoid head lice. Lice is probably my #1 fear as a parent.

I mused at the disappearance of the parenting village and how hard it makes 21st-century parenting, tried to stain the deck while the little kids tried to help, and solved the mystery of a sneaky Wal-Mart delivery guy who left footprints in our newly resealed driveway. We're on to you, man.

After a decade of devoted service, our master bedroom closet gave up the will to live, so that was fun.

I was thrilled to join the elite 1% (it's probably not what you think) and pleased that cod liver oil doesn't taste as bad as I thought it would.

I forget most of the time that our family is what many people would consider freakishly large so I don't write about it that often (to me it's just everyday life,) but I decided to write this post about 7 big family misconceptions that I was told many times hit the nail exactly on the head.

With a whim and a coupon, I walked into Great Clips and cut off my hair. It turned out to be the best haircut I've ever gotten, according to my husband.

I looked at some cute baby pictures, took my family to get Christmas photos taken and cleaned up pee in the studio, and discovered that my 3-year-old apparently knows how to change a toilet paper roll. That was weird.

The highlight of December, and probably the highlight of my entire life, was a trip to Florida. Getting out of the New England cold during the winter is an out-of-body experience.

At home, I introduced the kids to Chuck Norris jokes and gave away a copy of a Christmas board game called Stella Nova (congratulations, Amanda!) I watched a lot of Christmas movies with the kids and enjoyed all of them that weren't The Polar Express.

I finished off the month by creating these motivational posters for toddlers and rounding up my 10 funniest parenting memes, and now I'm ready to settle down for a long winter's nap.

I read that was a thing in one of my kids' Christmas books.

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Unremarkable Files

1 comment:

PurpleSlob said...

Wow, Jenny, I missed a lot this year! Lupus?? Gonna go read that right now. I'll be praying for you. Too bad we couldn't get together when you came to FL!!