Friday, September 13, 2019

7 Quick Takes about Stealing Furniture, Blatantly Ignoring a Driveway Full of Caution Tape, and What to Wear When You Don't Know What to Wear

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

1


My 3-year-old asked what we were going to do today, so I told him we were (1) eating breakfast, (2) getting ready, and (3) getting a dresser at the Hendricksons, who are some friends of ours.

He looked at me and said, "Well, that's mean."

To clarify, the Hendricksons are giving away a dresser they don't want anymore. We're not going to crawl in their bedroom window and steal one, which is apparently something we do so often it's naturally what my son assumed I had planned.

2


Earlier this week we had our driveway sealcoated, and I relished every minute of the two days when it was a roped-off unblemished sea of perfect inky blackness that everyone was forbidden to use. It was almost as thrilling as that time we got the carpets in the kids' rooms shampooed.

The day before, the kids had written a message for their dad in sidewalk chalk, and I wondered if the driveway guys felt bad spraying black gunky stuff over the colorful, crooked bubble letters that spelled out "WELCOME HOME DADDY."

I know I would have.

After they were finished with the driveway I had to leave for a doctor's appointment and wouldn't be there when my 11- and 13-year-old came home from school. I could just see them obliviously walking right past the caution tape and over the driveway on their way to the door, so I decided to leave them the world's biggest note.

Thank goodness for those campaign signs I kept from last November. They proved useful, after all.


Enjoy some Friday laughs with this week's 7 Quick Takes! The 8-person Unremarkable Files family usually has at least some chaos you can relate to (but hopefully not all of it!) #7qt #7quicktakes #unremarkablefiles #lifewithkids #real #relatable #funny
I was actually worried the kids would still just walk right past this sign, if you're wondering how spacey they can be.

3


The next morning, I went out to retrieve a package and noticed a MAN'S FOOTPRINTS ACROSS THE DRIVEWAY.

I asked Phillip if it was him and he said no, which means it was most likely the delivery guy.

Which is fine. I get it, you've got a hundred deliveries to make and you're on a tight schedule, so maybe you don't have time to notice 15 feet of caution tape and the three neon orange traffic cones at the head of the driveway. Whatever. I'm not mad.

But here's the weird thing: if he'd walked across the driveway to put the packages on the doorstep, why were they lying in the grass on the opposite side?

Enjoy some Friday laughs with this week's 7 Quick Takes! The 8-person Unremarkable Files family usually has at least some chaos you can relate to (but hopefully not all of it!) #7qt #7quicktakes #unremarkablefiles #lifewithkids #real #relatable #funny
It's a mystery.

Since there was no return set of footprints, I can only conclude that he brought the packages to the door, realized he'd messed up the driveway, and tried to cover his tracks by walking allllll the way around to leave the packages on the grass so I wouldn't suspect it was him.

So... maybe I should have left up the big 'DO NOT WALK ON DRIVEWAY' sign??

4


One of the things in my delivery was this toilet paper, which I'd ordered to meet the free shipping threshold:

Enjoy some Friday laughs with this week's 7 Quick Takes! The 8-person Unremarkable Files family usually has at least some chaos you can relate to (but hopefully not all of it!) #7qt #7quicktakes #unremarkablefiles #lifewithkids #real #relatable #funny

The fact that it ripped as I was removing it from the box does not bode well for the "ultra strong" claim on the packaging.

5


As the mother of multiple children involved in multiple activities, you come to depend on two things: carpooling and sheer good luck.

We've always relied on both, but this season there seems to be an unusual amount of serendipity.

For example, having three kids with 6 PM activities on Monday night would ordinarily be cause for panic, but they all happen to be 3 minutes away from each other so it's actually super-convenient.

From 5:45-6, I just drive around like a school bus, making stops and letting kids off at orchestra, robotics club, and soccer practice.

No, seriously, it's like an actual school bus. I drive carpool to soccer.

6


Yesterday was a killer day. By dinnertime I couldn't even see any of the kitchen counter. It was too littered with dirty dishes waiting for the dishwasher to be unloaded, onion peels and celery ends waiting for the trash to be emptied, and laundry waiting for someone to get his/her act together and put it away.

Enjoy some Friday laughs with this week's 7 Quick Takes! The 8-person Unremarkable Files family usually has at least some chaos you can relate to (but hopefully not all of it!) #7qt #7quicktakes #unremarkablefiles #lifewithkids #real #relatable #funny
There was also a random extension cord in the middle of the floor, I don't know why.

Phillip came home from work to a war zone, and by 'war zone' I mean a very angry 37-year-old woman yelling to no one in particular, "If this stupid inflatable toy isn't put away in exactly one minute I'm going to POP IT WITH SCISSORS!!"

Turning to Phillip, I said through gritted teeth, "There's a Relief Society activity at church tonight and I am going."

"Sounds like fun," he said in the soft, reassuring voice you'd use when cornered by a rabid timberwolf. "What's the activity?"

"I DON'T CARE."

I just needed to get out of the house, preferably somewhere with food and other adults where I wasn't responsible for cleaning anything or keeping anybody alive.

Luckily, the Relief Society activity (that's the name of the women's organization at my church) fit all of those criteria and I was in a much better mood when I came home.

7


I don't really know or understand anything about fashion, as you well know if you've been following this blog for any length of time.

For instance, my 13-year-old likes to tease me about a list I wrote when I was in elementary school titled "Jenny's Fashion Rules." (Rule #3 was "always make sure your socks match your shirt," so clearly I've been this way practically since birth.)

But this article makes me feel a little less alone, and also gives me some great ideas for what to do when I have no clue what to wear. Because that happens a lot, actually.

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3 comments:

Sheila Arshad said...

no.6 happen everywhere in the world
:(

April @ April's Happy Place said...

Oh delivery guys... Who knew one person could bring so much joy and so much pain? You know, aside from children. My kitchen also frequently looks like #6. Glad I'm not alone there 😁

Kristina said...

On the kitchen, looks like home. My counter is cluttered at the moment and has been since we moved in four months ago.