7 Quick Takes about Frozen Food Disasters, Mary Mary Quite Contrary, and Iconic Hood Ornaments

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week? 

—1—

We are back from a weeklong multi-state roadtrip! We gave our graduating senior a performance driving school experience in South Carolina for his 18th birthday, and decided to make a family trip out of it and make lots of stops along the way so everyone else would have fun, too.

It mostly worked.

I'll write more about our trip later in a separate post, but I want to share one specific moment that stood out for me. We were making a pit stop and getting takeout from a Mexican restaurant in North Carolina, and somehow the 10-year-old dropped his food all over his shoes, the floor of the van, a library book, and his brother's jacket. 

We'd been in the car for a few days already, the kids were tired and cranky, and I could easily envision this accident being the straw that broke the camel's back — or in this case, started the brawl in the parking lot of Salsarita's. However, no one yelled or made a sarcastic comment or made him feel bad. 

Someone handed me the roll of paper towels from the front seat and I started working on the mess, scooping up as much rice and guacamole as I could and handing soiled jackets and car mats to Phillip and the kids to shake out in the grass for some very excited birds. They scrubbed everything and when we got back on the road, the 22-year-old spent the first 20 minutes of the drive wiping off every single page of the book that got salsa on it. It wasn't even her book.

Of course, there was plenty of stupid and pointless bickering on this trip. PLENTY. But those weren't my favorite moments. This one probably was.

—2—

We returned on Sunday night and it's been crazy ever since. Three of the kids are at three separate youth camps this week, meaning a lot of laundry, packing, and driving to drop them off and pick them up.

We usually unpack immediately after vacations. But five days later, we've still got suitcases and other road trip paraphernalia piled up by the front door, and I don't think any of us even see it anymore.

—3—

One reason we don't see the suitcases is because they're buried under the aftermath of a frozen food disaster that happened soon after we got home. The 12-year-old went to fetch a bag of frozen strawberries out of the gigantic chest freezer in the basement for a smoothie, but when he came back with a thawed bag we suddenly had an emergency on our hands.

Thankfully, the fix ended up being as simple as unplugging the freezer and then plugging it back in, and we didn't even lose any food because it was still cold. 

But in other respects, the damage had already been done. You know how when you thaw a pound of chicken for dinner, you have to put a plate under it to catch the juice? Okay, now picture taking away the plate, and instead of a pound of meat there's 17 cubic feet of frozen food. There was blood and sticky berry juice at the bottom of the freezer, leaking out onto the floor, and covering every single bag and package. It also got everywhere as we temporarily moved it to the kitchen fridge and freezer. 

I finished off a bottle of disinfectant and mopped the entire house twice, and STILL sometimes I lift up my foot and hear that crackly Velcro sound that means I missed a spot. It's unbelievable.

—4—

I led some gym games for my 4th grader's church day camp, and I was particularly happy to see this one 10-year-old who I simply adore. He MUST do the opposite of what is asked/expected of him in every situation, every time. I think I'm a weirdo because I love working with kids like this. I see their contrariness more as an endearing personality quirk than a misbehavior that bothers me, plus I usually find that they're unusually smart kids who are interesting and fun to talk to (they're just bored, which makes them seem obstinate).

Anyway, we were playing a get-to-know-you game where someone says their name and does an action (makes a peace sign, claps their hands, strikes a pose). Then the whole circle repeats their name and action. 

We were going around the circle, and I was watching this boy out of the corner of my eye as he tried to figure out how he could do the opposite of what he was supposed to do. When it was his turn, he asked "Can I do nothing for my action?" Obviously, he figured that would get a rise out of me. 

"Sure," I told him. "If that's what you want to do!"

He scowled and discarded that plan. I'd okayed it, which meant that now he couldn't do it. I could almost see the wheels in his head spinning. After a few more moments of silent calculation, he said his name and did his action. It was a big thumbs down... just to let us know that he might have lost the battle but he wouldn't lose the war.

—5—

I was outside with my 12-year-old when he saw this really cool dragonfly with spotted wings:

Pictured atop a giant weed in our walkway. We'll get to weeding once the freezer mess is dealt with.

—6—

While we were swimming at the local beach, the 12-year-old left a chocolate-covered granola bar in the car. He still ate it on the way home, but as he was licking the melted chocolate off the wrapper, the 10-year-old told him, "It looks like you're kissing like they do in the movies when they eat each other's faces."

Kids have a way of describing things, that's for sure.

I just saw a Facebook post of someone who asked her son what he thought of her new tank top and he told her, "I'm not a fan of public armpits."

—7—

This week has been a very exhausting week, but on the plus side, I saw this car parked at the library with a flying pig hood ornament:

Which is probably a sign that everything's going to be okay.

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The Educational Summer Vacation: Studying the Czech Republic

How do you give your kids structure during the long weeks of summer vacation? Some people do it by planning themed outings, some people do it by going to the beach every day, and some people sign up for summer camp. 

Honestly, my kids might prefer any one of those. But what I do is ask the kids to choose different countries in the world, and we spend a week studying and learning all we can about each one. You can read how it started here, or you can just start right here and read along with what we did this week: studying the Czech Republic.

There are affiliate links in this post. If you click them and buy something, the cost stays the same to you but I will receive a small commission for referring you. Thanks!

The Czech Republic, is also called Czechia. Historically, it was known as Bohemia. So this week was exciting for me because I've seen "Bohemia" in my family tree and never knew exactly where that was. I just knew it was... Europe. Ish.

Monday

We started by locating the Czech Republic on the big wall map. In previous years I made blank passport pages they could fill out with the name of the country and all its neighbors, the capital, and any rivers or mountains or interesting things they could see about it. But this year they didn't want to. (Free printable is here, though.)

The kids looked up the flag online and were relieved to finally see a country with no complicated crests... just straight lines they could make with a ruler:

As I was putting this up on the wall I asked my 10-year-old, "Is this right side up?" He answered "I don't know, let me Czech" and then laughed and laughed. And then he really went to go check because we couldn't remember.

Prague is the capital, and it's sometimes called "city of a hundred spires." It's a city known for its architecture and the famous astronomical clock in the center. (A video for older kids on how to read the clock is here.)

We watched this general overview of the Czech Republic:

And then we read a few books. First we read This is Prague by Olga Černá, and then we read The Three Golden Keys by Peter Sís.

After these two books, we came to the conclusion that the Czech sensibility is... different. I think it's kind of like how Americans don't really "get" British humor: it's not bad, it's just that we don't have the shared cultural understanding to make complete sense of it. And yes, I'm also basing my opinion on all the Franz Kafka (another Czech) I read in college as an English major.

Tuesday

Besides speaking the language of absurd surrealism, the people of the Czech Republic also speak Czech. It's widely recognized as one of the world's hardest languages to learn. 

We watched this video called 5 Easy Czech Phrases for Beginners:

Let me tell you, I loved how Zuzana really exaggerates and over-enunciates each syllable, goes slow, and breaks down every sound. Because a lot of language tutorials don't do this enough, forgetting that they might be asking you to hear and make sounds that don't even exist in your native language. Ten out of ten for CzechbyZuzka.

Fun fact: some Czech words have no vowels, like this famous tongue twister that goes "strč prst skrz krk." It means something like "put your finger through your throat." 

Using this children's illustrated Czech dictionary from the library and some Post-It notes, the kids labeled things around the house in English and Czech. I asked them to do five Post-Its and expected them to be bored by then, but they kept going and going.

I was finding Post-It labels for days afterward in random places.

Of course they wanted to label me, too.

And then the 14-year-old stuck a label on the back of her 18-year-old brother's head, who was busy playing video games. The label said "friend." I'm not crying, you're crying.

I got a book of Czech fairy tales with the intention of reading one each night to the kids, but it kind of didn't happen. I ended up just giving them the book today to peruse at their leisure.

Wednesday

The Czech Republic has a ridiculous density of castles, with Prague Castle being the largest ancient castle in the world. The kids spent a while looking at this Castles Cross-Sections book and then we watched a video on Czech castles and chateaus.

With that foundation, they set off to design and build their own castles in Minecraft. 

The 10-year-old made a castle with a library of floating candles inside and two sheep pens in the back, one with upside-down sheep and one with rainbow color-changing sheep. Here's a video tour:

The 12-year-old spent days contructing a walled castle complex on an island with a palace, an armory, a well, guard barracks, and a pool with a waterfall. And then, in a disappointing turn of events, he accidentally deleted it. That's life, I guess, and he got over it. But I still wish I had taken some screenshots first, it was actually impressive.

Thursday

Today we talked about the music of the Czech Republic. There is a lot to cover here, but we tried to scratch the surface, at least.

First, the polka. Supposedly the word comes from the Czech "půlka" meaning "half step." I remember being forced to learn the polka in middle school P.E., do they make kids learn to dance in gym anymore?

We watched this instructional video and gave it a shot: 

Classical music also has deep roots in the Czech Republic. I looooove the Czech composer Antonín Dvořák (my 20-year-old is a violinist so I hear him all the time). 

Smetana's Vltava (The Moldau, in German) is also very famous. Bedřich Smetana wrote this in 1874 as part of a 6-movement piece celebrating his homeland, Bohemia. This movement is the most famous one. It tells the story of the Vltava, the longest river in the Czech Republic and it's really fun to listen to with kids if you tell them what they're listening for.

You can use this listening map or print out this AI-generated list of the movements:

1. The Two Springs: The piece begins with rippling, cascading flutes and clarinets that represent the bubbling Teplá Vltava and Studená Vltava (warm and cold streams)
2. The River: The two streams unite, and the main, sweeping Vltava melody—one of the most famous themes in classical music—swells as the young river grows
3. Forest and Hunt: The music transitions to a hunting scene, characterized by noble horn calls resonating through the dense woodland
4. Peasant Wedding: The river passes a village where a joyful, rustic Czech polka plays, signaling a lively local celebration
5. Moonlight / Dance of the Water Nymphs: The tempo slows and the strings soften to portray the moon rising over the water. Mermaids and nymphs dance and sparkle in the rippling moonlit waves
6. The St. John’s Rapids: The music grows chaotic, dramatic, and stormy as the river plunges into a rocky, churning gorge
7. The Vyšehrad Castle: As the rapids calm, the river broadens. The sweeping main theme returns majestically as the river flows through Prague, passing the historic Vyšehrad fortress
8. The Departure: The music fades into the distance as the river flows onward to join the Elbe River

Friday

At lunchtime we made bramboráky, Czech potato pancakes, using this recipe.

The Czech Republic is also the #1 consumer of beer in the world. I don't drink but I understand that there are different kinds of beer and Pilsner beer comes from the Czech Republic. So... I gave the kids some root beer to eat with their pancakes.

While they were eating, we watched a compilation of Czech-born players in the NHL making goals (there's officially a video of everything on the Internet now) because hockey is such a national pastime.

And then, because my kids are slow eaters, we watched a few episodes of a famous cartoon called Krteček, which is kind of like the Czech Republic's Mickey Mouse. (Back in the early days, before he talked.)

Saturday

Today we talked about WWII and how it affected the Czech Republic. We read Stars of the Night, about the Kindertransport that rescued 669 Jewish kids by sending them out of Czechoslovakia to the U.K. before the borders closed in 1939. 

The Czech Republic had a rough time. They had one of the longest occupations by the Nazis (6 years) and then came under the communist rule of the Soviet Bloc for another 41 years. 

Communism involves a lot of censorship, propaganda, and rules. Theater was heavily censored and directed by the government, if not outright banned, but puppet shows were mostly unregulated because they were seen as children's entertainment. That might be one of the reasons why Czech puppetry is on the UNESCO list of intangible cultural heritage. It's a long-standing Czech tradition.

We watched a video about it, and then followed this video tutorial by @MakingWithEmil to make a marionette using materials you can get at the dollar store:

I loved this guy, he was so excited about sharing the joy of marionettes with kids. It was too wholesome.

I was surprised, actually, by how long these boys were occupied with the marionettes they made. They're not exactly crafty kids, but this held their attention for a lot longer than I expected. In fact, this was a few weeks ago and my table is still full of marionette stuff.

The strings were really easy to get tangled, unfortunately. It helped once they realized that whenever they weren't using the marionettes they should hang them off the side of the table instead of just laying them down on top.

I asked them to put on a show for me and my 12-year-old made his marionette scale laboriously up the wall, hit the light switch, and then fall dramatically to his death. The 10-year-old wasn't too interested in making a show, he wanted to design and redesign his marionette, adjusting the strings and getting everything just right. Maybe eventually he'll be satisfied and then it can stop being our dinner centerpiece.

Our week studying the Czech Republic was a great week! From cooking to marionettes to classical music, we covered a lot of ground. And the boys even got extended mom-sanctioned Minecraft time, which was probably the best part of it from their point of view.

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7 Quick Takes about Oven Ladies, How to Tell People You’ve Died, and Being Gaslit by Artificial Intelligence

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week? 

—1—

This past Sunday in church, I subbed for the singing time leader and it was so, so fun. 

I love the Primary songs and the truisms they teach. I love finding ways to teach the gospel through fun games. And I love making the most of the short time we have to make church a blast for all the kids. Basically, I had a hard time going to sleep on Saturday I was so excited.

First, we played an Uno game to review a song and one kid asked “Can we play this again?” (That’s when you know it’s good.) Then we learned a new song and every time they sang a line, they got to go behind the bulletin board to my “super silly store” and pick something funny to put on their teacher.

I didn’t ask for the other teachers’ permission to post their picture, so here’s just Phillip and I from the group photo we took at the end:

Teachers with the owl mask, superhero cape, and Mandalorian helmet not pictured.

—2—

The older I get, the more I understand why old people don’t know how to use computers. My brain learned all the technology that it knows by age 40, and now sometimes when confronted with a new technology something inside of me says “I have understood enough things. There will be no more new things, thank you.” And then it flips over the ‘closed’ sign.

For example, I was trying to make an extremely simple spreadsheet, and after 10 minutes of puzzling over it I handed it to my daughter who did it in a second and a half. As long as she doesn’t make fun of me, though, I’m fine with that system of getting things done.

—3—

The 21-year-old came home from Japan! She’s been there for the last two months on a research internship. 

Not only was it great research experience, and not only did she get to be in monsoons, typhoons, and earthquakes, but she also had a lot of opportunity to use the limited Japanese she was able to learn in everyday life. One Sunday after church, she found herself in a conversation doing English-Japanese translation between a Mongolian who spoke Japanese and a German who spoke English, thinking, “How am I the one that this conversation is happening through??”

She brought home Japanese candy for her siblings. They were all pretty good, actually.

—4—

I let my kids get drinks at Starbucks, which is really unusual since I’m always the “we have food at home” mom. My 14-year-old thinks I’m joking if I suggest getting take out of any kind.

My 10-year-old looked ant his cup and asked, “Why is their logo a lady coming out of an oven?”

“What?” 

“She’s like, steaming.”

Well, that’s one way to look at it.

On a related note, this week I also had to give one of my kids pointers on how to open a soda can, so you can tell that happens even less than the Starbucks runs. It’s been a really educational summer over here so far.

—5—

I saw this sign on the door of a closed business and thought it was funny.

Sorry, we’re dead.

Actually, you know how in Take #2 I mentioned the sign in my mind when I have to learn a new technology? It’s actually this one.

—6—

Phillip and I took the kids to a new hiking trail that was recommended to us by Gemini (Google’s AI). But we couln’t find the trailhead, just an unmarked, unkempt dirt road that didn’t look like public property.

I pulled out my phone and asked Gemini, and the AI assured us that we were at the right place. It even gave detailed instructions of how we should follow the dirt road to the parking lot and walk 500 feet to the trailhead.

My daughter, meanwhile, was Googling it in the backseat and said, “Mom, it says here that the trail closed to the public a few years ago.”

Do you know how Gemini responded? It said “Your daughter is 100% correct, and I completely apologize for the wild goose chase!” It then gave me a long paragraph explaining exactly when and why the trail was closed, and asked if I would like other nearby trail recommendations instead. 

NO, I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU RECOMMENDED THE TRAIL WHEN YOU OBVIOUSLY HAD ACCESS TO IN-DEPTH INFORMATION ABOUT ITS CLOSURE.

I said something to that effect, but it’s so unsatisfying trying to get AI to own up to its mistakes. No one can gaslight you like AI. No one.

—7—

Ironically, I’d just seen this guy pop up on my social media channels just a few days earlier, and it couldn’t be closer to the truth.

I can’t believe they trained AI on the entirety of human knowledge, but didn’t train it on how to say “I don’t know” when it doesn’t know something. It seems like that would have solved a lot of problems.

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The Educational Summer Vacation: Studying Vanuatu

When my 12-year-old asked if we could start up The Educational Summer Vacation again, I said sure and asked him what countries he wanted to learn about. He picked Vanuatu, a country I've never heard of, so we both learned a lot this week! 

Some of the links in this post are my affiliate link, meaning that if you buy anything using those links I could receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thanks!

Monday

Using our big wall map, the kids found the island country of Vanuatu. Normally, they would have filled out one of these cute little passport pages, but they said they didn't want to do that this year. If you're interested in downloading the passport pages for free, here's the link:

Download the Passport Pages

Vanuatu isn't just one island; it's actually 83 of them. The yellow Y-shaped line in the middle of the flag represents how the islands look on a map. They kind of are, if you squint.

The map also features to namele fern leaves in the tusk of a boar. In Vanuatu, pigs are a symbol of wealth. The curvier the tusk, the better.

We finished today by watching this overview video of Vanuatu. It was a good video, but man was it hard to find something that wasn't voiced by AI (you can tell that I didn't succeed.) The last time we did The Educational Summer Vacation two years ago, AI video wasn't a thing yet and YouTube looked completely different. Times have changed.

Tuesday

Did you know that Vanuatu has its own underwater post office? Yes, it's just a tourist thing but it is an actual post office, and if I went there on vacation I would probably mail an underwater postcard, too.

We also read this Barefoot Books interactive book for ages 8-10 about water and everything related to it, from the science of the water cycle to careers that work with water.

Then of course, we had to learn about the active volcano on Vanuatu, Mount Yasur. It's been erupting almost continuously for over 800 years! We watched this video about Mount Yasur, and then because the video mentioned a caldera we also watched this video to learn what a caldera is. 

We also watched this video to learn more about how islands are formed by volcanoes, and the kids figured out just why those 83 islands are in a Y-shape (and why volcanic islands like Hawaii are formed in chains) after all. 

Then it was time for the obligatory baking soda volcano in the sandbox. (My kids are getting older and this was the only time this summer they've even used the sandbox. It's so sad.)

If you don't know how to do a baking soda volcano, here's a tutorial.

A word about baking soda volcanoes: I almost didn't do this. I've done this activity in the past many times over the years with my 6 kids, I feel like it's almost always disappointing waste of time and baking soda. But this time it worked, and I think I can happily hang up my baking soda volcano hat and go out on a high note.

I gave the kids two books to read in their spare time:

• The Secret Explorers and the Smoking Volcano for ages 6-9 (this is the 6^th book in series, but as self-contained adventures you can read them out of order)
• Tsunami, a short, easy read about a family on vacation in Vanuatu when earthquakes and a volcanic eruption hit (4^th grade reading level)

Wednesday

Vanuatu is home to three interesting animals that I wanted to learn about with the kids today.

The first is the sugar glider. They are so cute. We read this book on sugar gliders from the library. It had some really good information but it was also written to teach you about taking care of your pet sugar glider and now my kids all know that is an option and want one. Oops.

An interesting bird called the megapode lives in Vanuatu. They bury their eggs in volcanic ash and let the earth incubate their eggs instead of sitting on them, which I thought was pretty cool. We watched this snippet of a nature documentary showing megapodes, but I should warn you that a lizard does eat one of their eggs at 1:45 if that's the kind of thing your kid is going to have nightmares about for a week.

I rarely laugh out loud at nature documentaries, but the editing after the lizard comes around is *chef's kiss* so I still recommend watching it after that point for the adults.

A third interesting animal only found on Vanuatu and other South Pacific islands is the coconut crab, also called the robber crab. It can't swim, climbs trees and eats coconuts, and is absolutely gigantic. It's the weirdest crab ever.

The video calls the coconut crab's huge size a "mystery," but that's not really true. It's a well-documented evolutionary fact that on isolated islands over millions of years, large animals shrink and small animals get bigger. It's called "island gigantism" and "island dwarfism," which we learned more about in this video. Not only do animals shrink or get bigger, they also tend to pick up new behaviors/diets or lose typical abilities for their species.

So I had my 10- and 12-year-olds each pick an animal, and show me what would happen to it on an isolated island over millions of years.

My 10-year-old drew a duck that grew huge, with a curved neck, sunglasses, and a hat:

This was actually reverse engineering; he already draws the hat-and-sunglasses duck all over everything.

My 12-year-old envisioned the mini-lion:

Both were very creative.

Thursday

The official language of Vanuatu is called Bislama. More than 95% of the words in Bislama are English-origin words, so listening to this video is kind of like a magic eye puzzle for your ears... if you just unfocus, you can sort of understand it.

This is called a Pidgin language, which I'd never really heard of before. When the island was colonized, many of the people were taken as indentured servants or slaves to plantations in Australia and Fiji, where they basically combined English words and Oceanic grammar.

The kids read and listened to a short story in Bislama and I asked them what they understood:

Then we played Simon Says, with a list of commands I generated with AI (but absolutely went and fact-checked because AI is a hallucinating liar sometimes.)

Here are the commands I used:

Jamap (JAHM-ahp) → jump up 

Sidaon (SEE-dah-own) → sit down

Stop (stohp) → stop

Stanap (STAHN-up) → stand up

Foldem han (FOLD-ehm hahn) → fold your arms

Taotsem nos (TOHT-sehm nohs) → touch your nose

Taotsem baksait (TOHT-sehm BAHK-sight) → touch your backside

Taotsem gras blong hed (TOHT-sehm grahs blohng hehd) → touch your hair ['grass belong head' is hair]

Tanem i go (TAHN-em ee go) → turn around

Putautem tang blong yu (POOT-owt-ehm tahng blohng yoo) → stick out your tongue

Klap (klahp) → clap

Smael (smile) → smile

Blokem ia blong yu (BLOHK-ehm YEE-ah blohng yoo) → plug your ears

Openem maus blong yu (OH-pehn-ehm MAH-oos blohng yoo) → open your mouth

Seksekem nos blong yu (sehk-SEHK-ehm nohs blohng yoo) → wiggle your nose

Honestly, I struggled to give these commands out loud to the kids because I kept getting "squaw get em firewood" vibes, like I was parodying someone.

But also, Bislama seems like a very sincere, straightforward, and sweet language (if you don't get this, read it out loud and you will:)

from Instagram

Friday

My kids love the Mr. History videos on YouTube, so they of course enjoyed this one on the history of Vanuatu.

Then we took a look at the currency in Vanuatu, which is called the Vatu:

I thought it was really interesting that the Vatu is the smallest (and only) unit. That would be like us measuring the value of everything in pennies.

The kids and I talked about watched the video a few more times to look at the money, and then I asked them to design their own money.

The 12-year-old created "the American Merican," a play on "the Vanuatu Vatu." All the denominations came in a different color, and their names were different combinations of letters from the phrase "United States of America."

 

My 10-year-old took a typically 10-year-old approach and made a scatalogically-based system of money. I don't even know if I should post this. He might see it and be encouraged by the attention.

Shifting gears, we decided to make a Vanuatu dish called simboro. (We used swiss chard instead of island cabbage, since we were fresh out of island cabbage.)

If your first thought is "that doesn't look like something Jenny's American 10- and 12-year-old would enjoy," you'd be right. I knew from the first moment I saw the recipe that they wouldn't like it, but I thought it would be a good learning experience and they might have fun rolling up the leaves.

They sort of did.

With every country that we study, I always say that I learned a lot. But this time I really learned a lot, because I didn't even know Vanuatu existed. There was one area that I left out, though, and that was the cultural rite of passage of land diving. I screened a video and decided against mentioning it to my kids because (1) I was squirming in physical pain just watching it, and (2) I didn't want to give my boys any ideas.

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7 Quick Takes about Appropriate Things to Say, Bodyguarding Blueberries, and Making Imperceptible Progress Toward Talking Nicer

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week? 

—1—

How is your summer going so far? This weekend, I was scared awake by one of my children silently standing at my bedside (I really hoped they'd stop doing that once they got older). 

When I recovered and asked what they wanted, they told me "I feel a sense of doom." 

So we're great, everything's great.

—2—

I saw this sign on a utility closet at my son's gym.

If you start combusting during your pommel horse routine, this is where you go.

I appreciate the humor, and I also want to know where they found a die-cut figure of Puff the Vaping Dragon.

—3—

We've started a new tradition this summer. Every Thursday, Phillip has started commuting to work by bike and afterward we meet him at the town beach. He just bikes straight there and jumps in the lake, which is a perfect way to end a 20-mile bike ride in 80+ degree heat. 

Phillip likes biking to work because of the exercise and because it saves money. The second part is a lie, though. When he regularly bikes to work, we spend so much on food that it cancels out anything we're saving on gas. Fuel is fuel, no way around it.

—4—

Twice a month, I lead weeknight activities for the 8- to 11-year-old boys at church. We were playing an old-school game of Telephone, with the boys taking turns coming up with a phrase or sentence to whisper down the line to the rest of the class.

However, I know how 8- to 11-year-old boys work, so first they had to clear their idea with me.

As predicted, the first boy's chosen sentence was "Poop is stinky and disgusting."

Gently, I told him "Let's make it church-appropriate."

He thought for a moment, chose something else, and then it was the next boy's turn. I cupped my hand to my ear to hear his idea and he whispered, "Church toilets."

"Church-appropriate," I reminded him.

He looked at me with exasperation and protested, "It's about church!"

—5—

When we bought this house 16 years ago, I bought and planted three blueberry bushes on the side of the house. One didn't make it, but two of them have gotten pretty big. 

They've also never given me a single blueberry.

The problem is that the birds (and possibly chipmunks and other small creatures) always eat the berries before I get to them. It's an unfair fight that I feel I can't win: the animals have literally nothing else to do all day every day, whereas if I prioritize my to-do list then protecting the blueberry bushes are on page 16. So I gave up years ago and let the animals knock themselves out.

But on my last trip to the dump, I saw that someone was getting rid of an unused roll of netting and figured, "It's free, I might as well try one more time." Putting nets over the berry bushes and weighting them with rocks at the bottom took my 12-year-old and I a little longer than I would have liked, but maybe it will work this time. 

Regardless, I ate three berries while I was out there putting up the netting so at least now I can say the bushes weren't a total loss.

—6—

We've been working on talking more nicely at home and not using sarcasm with each other this summer. It's gotten... better? 

For example:

10yo: "That cleaning spray smells like a Port-a-Potty."

14yo: "I know who else smells like a Port-a-Potty..."

*pointed look from me*

14yo: "...is something that I would never say."

Progress.

—7—

Lastly, just some funny babies and little kids for you. I miss those days. But maybe not all of them.

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