—1—
My 19-year-old is dog sitting for a friend of ours. She goes over to their house several times a day to walk and play with Ginger, but I’m sure Ginger gets bored being there without her family so my daughter brought her over here for a couple of days to have some more company.
She’s the sweetest dog, and before long I was wondering if I should reconsider my strict “no pets who don’t live in a cage” policy. As time went on, though, Ginger eventually started testing the boundaries, trying to steal food off the counter or get into the trash.
I was kind of glad that the kids got a taste of dog ownership, and it’s not all laughter and tummy rubs. Sometimes it can be exasperating, too. After Ginger went home I asked the kids, "Did you notice how the more comfortable Ginger got here, the naughtier she got?"
"Kind of like us!" my son said. There was a moment of silence and he added, "I shouldn't have said that."
—2—
One thing that drives me crazy is the dreaded “toilet paper shelf.” If you have kids or possibly a husband, you know what I mean. Someone is too lazy to actually dispose of the empty cardboard roll, load a new roll onto the rod, and fit it back into the fixture, and instead just plonks a new roll up on top of the empty one and leaves the bathroom like a sociopath.
Today I went in the bathroom and noted with pleasant surprise that someone had changed the roll. Properly, all the way.
But the old cardboard roll in the trash can still had a foot of toilet paper on it, which was wasteful and kind of perplexing. It meant that whoever changed the roll could have just used the perfectly good paper that they threw away instead.
I wasn’t sure whether to be upset or happy, so I settled for both and didn’t say anything to anyone.
—3—
I was back asking ChatGPT about time management and logistics again. It gave me some ridiculous sample schedule for my day, so I explained that I usually have to make 6-10 kid pickups or drop offs per day, with each ride lasting anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour, and I don’t get to pick convenient times for any of my kids’ shifts at work, their sports practices, or their best friend’s birthday party. I can’t schedule “craft time” from 10-12 or whatever nonsense it thinks I can do.
ChatGPT responded: “Thank you, that’s a huge piece of context. You’re not a typical stay-at-home mom; you’re more like a logistics coordinator for a small company that also happens to live in your house.”
Okay, but that’s totally what a stay-at-home mom is. What’s a “typical” stay-at-home mom, ChatGPT? One who spends all day eating bon-bons and watching “90-Day Fiancé”?
—4—
Phillip wants to run a mile in under 5 minutes and he’s been working at it for a while, but is starting to wonder if it’s even possible to do for the first time at 44 years old. So I Googled it, and pulled up a Reddit thread that asked “Am I too old to break a sub-5 mile?”
I scanned the thread and saw lots of guys going on about running-related things that didn’t answer the question, criticizing the OP’s question, other guys coming to his defense, and then more guys attacking the guys who defended him, and guys pointing out small technicalities in other answers they disagreed with.
“What is this?” I asked. “I usually find really helpful answers on Reddit.”
“That’s because it’s all men on this thread,” Phillip said.
“So, this is what happens when you have a bunch of men all mansplaining to each other?”
“Yes! We don’t do that because we think women are stupid, we do that because we think everyone’s stupid.”
That makes sense.
—5—
Usually this happens on the literal first day of summer vacation, but I waited until now to make my kids clean out their backpacks (I’m trying to be a cool mom, not a regular mom, by being chill about their school crap needlessly cluttering up the entryway).
My 3rd grader pulled some papers out of his folder and said, “This is for a story. I never wrote it but I think I want to write it this summer.”
In case the mustache doesn't give it away, this is the bad guy. And here is his character profile for help writing the story:
 |
| Name: Moneyman Personality: Mean Like: Robbing Banks Dislikes: Meat |
In particular I want to see how not liking meat is so foundational to his character that it's literally 25% of his personality. Seriously, I've read YA book jackets that didn't get me as interested in the story as this.
—6—
My 13-year-old would make us dessert for after every meal if she could, but I won’t let her, so she settles for making the Family Home Evening treat every week. Family Home Evening is like a weekly family devotional, with a spiritual thought/activity and a treat afterward. This week she asked if she could make cupcakes and I told her sure, but we didn’t have a lesson yet.
“That’s not my specialty,” she shrugged, and went on to make these:
Just your average Monday night cupcakes, nothing special.She also made cookies for our new next door neighbors. We had to go over there three times before we actually caught them at home to deliver them, we thought we were going to have to just eat the cookies ourselves and make a second batch to try again. Actually, my daughter would have loved that.
—7—
"When are you coming back?" My 19-year-old asked us. "Or are you?"
I shrugged. "We planned on being gone for 3 days, but on the last day how about you send me a picture of the state of the kitchen? Put that day's newspaper on the counter so we know it’s current. We'll decide based on the photo."
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