Friday, October 18, 2019

7 Quick Takes about Closets That Gave Up, Theories about the Universe, and People Not to Call if You're Dying

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

1


This week our closet shelves, after 10 years of faithful service, gave up the will to live.

They collapsed in the middle of the night with a gigantic crash, and while it made Phillip jump 3 feet out of bed like a cartoon character, I was sleeping so soundly I barely heard it.

On this week's edition of 7 Quick Takes, the Unremarkable Files family takes on everything from mermaids to closets to Forrest Gump. Get ready to laugh. #7quicktakes #7qt #unremarkablefiles #reallife #relatable #funny
This mess was brought to you by cheap wire shelving, with additional support from too much crap.

In the morning I surveyed the remains and sighed, "At least there wasn't a baby in there," since over the years we've sometimes had children sleeping in a Pack 'n Play in the closet.

"I thought of that," Phillip said, "But I wasn't going to say anything because I didn't want you to worry."

Ha! As if he could ever beat me to a worry.

By the time he worries about something, I guarantee you I've not only had that worry, I've also worried over worrying too much about it.

Which is exactly why I made him move the last baby out of the closet when we had him sleeping in there a few years ago. #MomsCanSeeTheFuture

2


So our Columbus Day was spent rebuilding the closet. It took all day, but Phillip designed, bought materials for, and installed new shelves that aren't going anywhere this time.

On this week's edition of 7 Quick Takes, the Unremarkable Files family takes on everything from mermaids to closets to Forrest Gump. Get ready to laugh. #7quicktakes #7qt #unremarkablefiles #reallife #relatable #funny

The 3-year-old had fun "working," which mostly meant carrying Phillip's studfinder all over the house and moving it around on random walls.

3


While Phillip was busy with the closet and the little kids were running around losing his tools, I took the older kids winter clothes shopping.

I never do this, but I spotted an ICEE machine by the registers in Target and asked if they wanted to get one. I have fond memories my parents buying me an ICEE when we went shopping as a kid, and I haven't had one for decades.

Back then, the only two flavors were cherry and blue raspberry, but I saw they'd added to their repertoire:

On this week's edition of 7 Quick Takes, laugh and cry along with us as the Unremarkable Files family takes on everything from mermaids to closets to Forrest Gump. Get ready to laugh. #7quicktakes #7qt #unremarkablefiles #reallife #relatable #funny
"Mermaid" is now a flavor, apparently.

"Mermaid?" my daughter asked, "What does that taste like? Fish and human flesh? Gross."

I tried it, and I can tell you now what mermaids taste like: sugar. Lots of it.

4


Fashion in the last few years has gone back to the 90s, and lately I've been noticing some 80s creeping in. Are we going backward through time at an accelerated pace? And if so, when will it stop? By the time my 15-year-old graduates from high school, kids might be wearing bonnets and petticoats. I don't even know.

I mentioned this one day to my daughter, and she had a very interesting theory. "You know how people thought the world was going to end in the year 2000?" she said. "Well, maybe it did, and now we're just going backward."

Kind of like how scientists think the universe is expanding, but eventually it will start contracting until it eventually collapses in on itself. Makes sense.

Actually, when I was in Target I saw mannequins wearing Doc Martens and a fannypack (80s! 80s!) so she's probably right.

On this week's edition of 7 Quick Takes, laugh and cry along with us as the Unremarkable Files family takes on everything from mermaids to closets to Forrest Gump. Get ready to laugh. #7quicktakes #7qt #unremarkablefiles #reallife #relatable #funny
The end is nigh.

5



I'm just as shocked as you are, but this is the earliest I've ever been on top of things for Halloween.

I finished everything yesterday, and all that's left is buying a stocking cap for one of the kids' costumes and making sure they don't break the things we already made by playing with them before Halloween.

I'm not sure why I'm keeping up better this year than ever before. Maybe it's because three of my kids are old enough to get their costumes together entirely without my involvement.

Actually, that's definitely it.

6


I was going through a stack of medical bills and calling the relevant office to pay them. (Frugal tip: never mail a bill and you'll save hundreds of dollars over the course of your life from all the stamps you never had to buy. You're welcome.)

First I called our pediatrician, and then I called urgent care, and at each office the automated recording started with the standard medical spiel: "If you are experiencing a life-threatening emergency, hang up and dial 911."

Fair enough. But then I called my dermatology office and heard those exact same words.

WHY WOULD YOU CALL THE DERMATOLOGIST IF YOU WERE HAVING A LIFE-THREATENING EMERGENCY?

7


My kindergartner and 2nd grader wait for the bus at the top of the driveway. Sometimes I go out to wait with them (when they request it) and sometimes they go out alone.

Lately they've been asking me to stay inside and let the 3-year-old walk them to the bus stop. Since it's literally in our driveway, I say sure, why not.

I can't tell you how much I enjoy watching out the window as he waits with them for the bus, stands there patiently as they get on, and waves vigorously as they drive away to school, looking exactly like a 3-foot tall Forrest Gump.

On this week's edition of 7 Quick Takes, laugh and cry along with us as the Unremarkable Files family takes on everything from mermaids to closets to Forrest Gump. Get ready to laugh. #7quicktakes #7qt #unremarkablefiles #reallife #relatable #funny

Click to Share:
Unremarkable Files

1 comment:

PurpleSlob said...

Murder by closet would have been horrendous!! Thankfully you had the presence of mind to worry about that years ago!!
Congrats on being early for Halloween!
3 ft tall Forrest Gump is funny!!