Wednesday, February 6, 2019

7 Text Message Exchanges between Disney Characters

When you introduce your kids to the Disney classics you grew up with, you notice some things that weren't there before.

Here are a few of my observations, in the form of texts the characters may have sent to one another had cell phones between invented back then.

1. George and Mary Darling from Peter Pan.

At the beginning of the movie, George and Mary (the parents of Wendy, Michael, and John) were getting ready for an office party. I wonder if they ever had second thoughts?

Just saying that a bipedal nanny might have provided a teensy bit more supervision.

2. Ariel and King Triton from The Little Mermaid.

Text exchanges between parents and teenagers look the same, pretty much across species.

Even mer-parents know when their kids are going to get into trouble before it happens.

3. Merryweather, Flora, and Fauna from Sleeping Beauty.

When the three fairies are invited to the castle to bestow gifts on the newborn Princess Aurora, I had some questions.

If Merryweather hadn't had to change her plans at the last minute, maybe Aurora would've ended up with at least a few onesies or something she could actually use. At least she had great hair.

4. Aladdin and Jasmine from Aladdin.

I've seen celebrities try to pull this and you've got to do better. At least put on some sunglasses.

Luckily for her, the guards don't seem that smart so I'm sure she'll think of something.

5. Gaston and Belle from Beauty and the Best

The plot seems a little weirder now that I'm an adult, frankly.

And I'm still not over the fact that the beast was less attractive as a human than he was when he had a buffalo head.

6. Pocahontas and John Smith from Pocahontas.

It's just easier for some people to pick up a second language than others. No one knows why.

She's got a point.

7. The King and the Grand Duke from Cinderella.

This needle-in-a-haystack approach seems like kind of a drain on the economy.

However, seeing as the king's motivation is to get some grandchildren, I totally understand where he's coming from. If I were in his position, I'd probably do the same thing.

If the Disney characters from my childhood favorites suddenly had access to text messaging, everything would be different. At the very least, the animators would have to start giving the princesses pockets.

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  1. Hahaha! These are gold. I particularly am loving that Belle and Gaston exchange.

    1. That was delightful! And, if I finally figured this out, i can comment via google instead of anonymous! Talented...