Friday, March 1, 2019

7 Quick Takes about Phillip's Superhuman Immune System, Impressing the Pediatrician, and Unusual Places to Find the Likeness of Charles Darwin

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?


You know how the 2-year-old started throwing up at the end of our little mini-vacation last week? We'd hoped it was just a fluke, but in reality the party was just getting started.

On Friday night, FIVE other family members started throwing up at the same time. It was, I think, a preview of the Apocalypse.

Someone was bent over the toilet every 15 minutes, and at least twice I saw someone making a mad dash for a second bathroom because the closest one was already occupied by someone who was actively vomiting inside.

It hit some harder than others, but I got it the worst. It was positively the sickest I've ever been.

For 31 hours, I only left the bed to throw up (and most of the time, I just used a bowl and then lay there moaning until someone took it away.) Almost a full 24 hours went by before I could even keep down water. It was so violent, my stomach muscles hurt for two days afterward.

Phillip maintained a calm appearance the whole time he was taking care of me, but afterward he confided that he was a little worried and may or may not have Googled "how long does it take to die of the flu?"


Curiously, even though he was the one cleaning up after everyone else all weekend and the 2-year-old personally threw up on him twice, Phillip never got sick.

I think he's a cyborg.

Since I'm the one home full-time, I generally do most of the cleaning, but I discovered that Phillip can disinfect a house like no one's business when he's the last man standing and you put the fear of the stomach flu in him.

The bathrooms were cleaner than I've ever seen them, sparkling like they were in an Ikea showroom. Even my mom (who was visiting and unfortunately came down with the stomach bug, too) commented on it.


The worst of the illness seemed to pass in about 24 hours, but most of us still felt really worn out and exhausted for a couple more days. I still do, actually.

And maybe I'm just noticing it more because I'm tired and cranky, but people have been unusually chatty lately.

I can hardly run an errand without someone behind me in line commenting on my purchase, or the lady parking next to me in the lot commenting on my car, or assorted people I don't know at the transfer station making chit-chat while I drop off the recycling.

Ironically, I usually like making small talk with random strangers, but right now I'm too grumpy and would prefer to be left alone.

My only exception is for the cashier I met at the grocery store, who kept saying every little thing that popped into her mind and is kind of my favorite person now. After a few minutes of stream-of-consciousness style rambling while ringing up my groceries, she said "My eyelashes are sticking together... it feels weird but also kind of cool."

At the very least, she made me smile.


On Monday there was a wind advisory all day. It was poor timing because I'd been screening this YA novel for my daughter about this family hunkered down in an end-of-the-world situation, trying to survive natural disasters and the collapse of society.

The people in the book were huddled inside trying not to freeze to death while they ran out of food and water; outside in the real world 50 MPH winds were whistling through the yard and every now and then there would be a loud thunk as a big branch landed on our roof or hit the side of the house.

It was sort of surreal.

Then we lost electricity and I kept having to remind myself that we probably weren't going to be so desperate we'd be trying to eat our own shoe leather by the end of this thing, and the lights would be back on by bedtime.

They were.


My pediatrician has a long list of questions about health that she always asks the kids when we come in for check-ups: Are you wearing your seat belt in the car? Getting enough sleep at night? Pooping every day?

When she asked my 5-year-old if he ate a variety of foods including fruits and vegetables, he made me look really good by exclaiming "We had broccoli for lunch!"

That is, until the 2-year-old ruined it by yelling, "And donuts!"

(The donuts were how I got them to eat the broccoli, FYI.)


My 5-year-old was asking why we eat, so I was explaining how food is fuel for our bodies, kind of like how gas gives energy to a car. "When we eat food," I said, "it helps us grow."

"Yeah," he nodded sagely. "Because first you're a baby and then you're a preschooler and then a schooler and then you go to college and then you're a mom or dad and then you die."

Which just about sums it up, I think.


Because I need one last take and also because I have no photos to share (blame Take #1 for both of those,) here's a picture of a Charles Darwin fridge magnet/finger puppet I saw at the mall last week:

Stocking stuffer alert! Educational and fun!

To those of you who had no idea such a product existed, you're welcome.

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Unremarkable Files


Ann-Marie Ulczynski said...

I'm so sorry you guys were sick. That is no fun. Recovery is tough, but I'm thankful Phillip was able to be amazing and take care of you all. What I want to know is, who is the beady eyed mustache gentleman in the corner of the picture with Darwin?!?!

Karyn said...

I'm with Ann-Marie....who's the weirdo in the corner, lol. Hope you all are back to normal quickly!

AnneMarie said...

Oh no! I am so sorry to hear you were all so terribly sick. What a blessing that Phillip was healthy so he could take care of you guys!

Unknown said...

Praying you feel better quickly!

Jenny Evans said...

I realized after I took the picture that I didn't look! Now we are going to have to go back to that mall and figure it out! It's only a 2-hour drive...

Jenny Evans said...

Tell me about it! I don't know what we would have done if it was all of us at the same time.