Wednesday, January 9, 2019

TED Talks My Preschooler Could Give

I love TED talks. You can find an interesting TED talk on just about anything, and they're the perfect length for listening to while you're hiding in the laundry room from your kids.

And the more I listen, the more convinced I am that my preschooler should apply to be a TED speaker. In fact, he'd be well-qualified to present any one of the following talks:

What Would Happen If We Never Wore Pants?

Pants. They're a constant source of power struggle and misery. We've been told pants and underwear are necessary, but are they? When even beloved children's characters like Daniel Tiger are jumping aboard the pants-free bandwagon, there may be more to that question than Mom lets on.

You Can Make a Gun Out of Anything

Bananas, your fingers, or an expertly-chewed piece of toast — we all know the staples of pretend gunmaking. But think bigger: you can make a gun out of anything! String cheese, drinking straws, vacuum attachments... wherever you are, there's a perfect "shooter" within arm's reach.

I Pretended to Be a Cat for Six Months

For half a year I refused to answer to anything but "kitty" and only took my meals in a saucer on the floor. Here's what I learned.

What Llama Llama Can Teach Us About the Human Condition

Packaged in delightful rhyme, Llama Llama is a masterful microcosm of preschool life. There's intrigue, aggression, conflict, love, and trying our parents' patience. Lots and lots of trying our parents' patience.

But I'm Not Tiiiiiiired 

Go inside the fascinating world of dropping naps and learn why your caregivers are so opposed to it. Popular nap-avoidance techniques include singing to yourself, inventing reasons to visit the bathroom, or quietly slipping out of bed to play with cars.

From the Threenager Years to the Freaking Fours

Being a preschooler is no picnic: you get trapped in your clothes, struggle to catch balls or use scissors, and sometimes you don't win all the games. And just when you think it can't get any harder, you learn that verbs have "tenses" and somehow "I goed to preschool" isn't correct.

The Art of Disliking Food Before You've Tried It 

Professional food critics make a living writing reviews of the food they eat. But what if you don't actually have to taste a food to know you hate it?

5 Creative Ways to Incorporate More 'Why' Questions Into Your Day

Why do we ask 'why?' Child development specialists point to a growing brain and burgeoning language skills. But incessant 'why' questions also serve another important function: wearing down your parents. In fact, historical evidence suggests that the inventor of Chinese water torture was inspired by his 3-year-old asking "Why? Why? Why?"

I could go on, because my preschooler is an expert on quite a lot of things, but I think you get the idea. Who knows, maybe he'll be speaking at a TED event someday, and I'll have something new to listen to in the laundry room.

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One Way Cab from Delhi said...

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Kassie said...

It sounds like he has verb tenses down, but English has to throw the irregular verb curve-ball at him.

Jenny Evans said...

He also "wented to preschool" so the problem is actually bigger than I originally thought...

PurpleSlob said...

YES!! Send that boy out to work!! He's been lazing around not supporting himself for 3 whole years now!! Mommy needs a new "I lub you" bead bracelet!!