In honor of Unremarkable Files turning two, I thought I'd interview myself and hopefully you'll all get to learn something new about your favorite blogger.
Q: What's your favorite joke?
A: Two biscuits are sitting in the oven. One biscuit turns to the other and says, "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
The second biscuit looks back at him and yells, "HOLY CRAP, A TALKING BISCUIT!!"
Q: What's the last thing you said out loud?
A: "I think you need a nap."
I may or may not have been talking to my own reflection in the mirror.
Q: Where do you get your ideas for your blog posts?
A: For a humor writer, there's really nothing better than family life. You can't take yourself too seriously when you realize you've been walking around all day with a dump truck sticker on your butt.
I write whatever is on my mind, which means that it's getting stuck in a pair of skinny jeans one day and some serious meditations on faith the next.
But mostly it's my 6 kids, ranging in age from 12 years down to 4 months, who provide most of my source material. For more on that, see 29 Lessons from 10 Years of Parenting (disclaimer: a lot of them involve poop.)
Q: What was your favorite Halloween costume as a kid?
A: Hobo. I was a hobo for a few years, actually.
Maybe it wasn't the most politically correct choice, but all it required was one of my dad's old flannel shirts, a pair of gloves with the fingers cut off, and a handkerchief tied to a stick slung over my shoulder — so as far as my mom was concerned this was probably the best costume ever.
Because now that I'm a mom, literally the only thing I care about on Halloween is how much work the costume requires from me.
Q: What's the best song from the 1990s?
A: Oh, there are too many good ones to pick just one! Actually, scratch that, '90s music was terrible. But since I grew up in the '90s I love it fiercely and will fight you if you say otherwise.
I probably have to go with "Peaches" by the Presidents of the United States of America. It's just so silly and catchy. I also like peaches.
(Watch for my signature dance move at around 1:00. Feel free to use at the clubs.)
Q: Tell us about your first job.
A: I waitressed at an all-American restaurant called Country Kitchen for about 3 weeks before I was fired for basically being an awful waitress.
Then I got a job waiting tables at Pizza Hut and was told by my manager Eric that I was, and I quote, "the best waitress they'd ever had." Which probably means that Pizza Hut had much lower standards, but I like to think I just fit in better there.
|Just Phillip's sister Kara and I hard at work. No idea why the camera's timestamp says '1989.' I was like 7 then.|
I loved Pizza Hut and worked there all through high school and on summers home in college. Phillip was a cook at Pizza Hut, where he worked very hard and never wasted pizza dough trying to impress the waitresses.
|That says "I [heart] Jenny" and it's neater than his real handwriting, if you can believe it.|
Q: What was the last text you sent?
A: "They said give it a few days and if the drains start gurgling again we have a tank problem."
Please attempt to reign in your jealousy over the level of glamour in my life.
Q: Have you ever found the image of a Biblical figure on a piece of toast?
Q: Why is your blog called Unremarkable Files?
A: You know how Seinfeld is a show about nothing? I like to think that Unremarkable Files is a blog about nothing. It's an unremarkable collection of things from my everyday life. But the name is also kind of tongue-in-cheek, because while there's nothing special about me, there also kind of is, because everyone's life is interesting and hilarious. #humblebrag
And I'm not saying I spent more time choosing a name for my blog than names for my children, but I probably did.
Q: What's your favorite post so far?
A: I won't clutch my pearls and say "That's like asking me to choose a favorite child!" because that's annoying. But I do have a hard time choosing.
I think If Parenthood Was a Broadway Show and First Pregnancy vs. Sixth Pregnancy are two of the funniest.
The most practical is 30 Slightly Insane Things I Do To Save Money, and the most heartfelt is probably The Unspeakable Loss of Miscarriage.
And the two most widely-shared are Favorite Responses to Comments on My Family Size and Why I Make My Kids Go To Church.
But honestly, my favorite post is one I write every single Friday called 7 Quick Takes. It's a rundown of the last week in 7 random points, and I laugh just thinking of the ridiculousness in these 7QT posts over the last 2 years.
Like the time Phillip made us all eat liver and my kids thought they were dying (see take #3,) or the time I totally rocked the pee-stain look at a work BBQ at Phillip's boss's house (see take #3,) or the time I saw 1,000 convicts dancing to the Sister Act soundtrack (see take #5.)
Q: What's one of your favorite quotes?
A: "Be a fountain, not a drain." -Rex Hudler
Q: What would you name your autobiography?
A: In Retrospect, I Guess That Could've Been Planned A Little Better
Q: What's it like being a Mormon?
It encourages me to think deeply about life and to honestly examine myself often. Every Mormon congregation in every place I've lived has been a tight-knit community of really nice people.
If you want to know more about what a Mormon is, I wrote about it here and here, or you can click the "I Believe" button on my sidebar to go to mormon.org.
Q: Do your real-life friends know you're a totally famous blogger?
A: Not really. I think most of them are aware I have a blog, but don't know I'm so obsessed with it that I bake it cakes and interview myself on its birthday.
Q: What's the messiest room in your house right now?
A: Yes. The answer is just yes.
Now that you're finished reading my interview, you should go make yourself a cake in a mug. It only takes 5 minutes and after all, it is somebody's birthday today.