Wednesday, December 16, 2015

First Pregnancy vs. Sixth Pregnancy

I've been pregnant, well, many times. If you only count healthy pregnancies carried to term, I'd be on my 6th. 

And I've noticed that there are lots of differences between the things you think, say, and do when this is not your first rodeo — versus when it actually is.

First Pregnancy vs. Sixth Pregnancy -- There are lots of differences between the things you think, say, and do when this is not your first rodeo — versus when it actually is.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

First pregnancy: Can't wait to put on your new maternity clothes! In fact, you start wearing them before you actually need to just because you're excited.

Sixth pregnancy: A funeral dirge starts playing in your head when you reluctantly drag the box of tired old maternity clothes out of storage.

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First pregnancy: Know how many days pregnant you are, what size fruit the baby is, and what's new this week in fetal development at all times.

Sixth pregnancy: A friend asks how far along you are and you answer "Uh... 5-ish months, I think."

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First Pregnancy: Excitedly make your first OB appointment before the pee dries on the pregnancy test.

Sixth pregnancy: Put it off until 14 weeks or later, because everyone knows you really don't do anything but pee in a cup and get asked if you have any questions (you don't) before the 20-week ultrasound, anyway.

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First pregnancy: "I can't wait for my next ultrasound so I can see the baby!"

Sixth pregnancy: "Enough with the goop already! Do we really have to do another one of these?"

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First pregnancy: Taking your prenatal vitamin is like your religion and you started before you were actually pregnant.

Sixth pregnancy: "Um, yeah, I think I took one... this week..."

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First pregnancy: Plan an elaborate pregnancy announcement for your husband (and then again for your parents and in-laws.) Record it and put it on YouTube.

Sixth pregnancy: Leave the positive pregnancy test on the bathroom counter and figure your husband will see it eventually. Your parents find out on Facebook.

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First Pregnancy: Use spreadsheets to track your daily water intake and the number of Kegel repetitions you've done.

Sixth pregnancy: You can't remember your childrens' names or whether you ate breakfast that morning, letalone when you last did a Kegel.

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First Pregnancy: Obsessively read, highlight, and annotate your copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting and stay up late Googling every single pregnancy complication in the book.

Sixth pregnancy: You're not really sure where it is, but you assume What to Expect is probably a coloring book for your toddler somewhere now.

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First pregnancy: Husband vetoes all your cute baby names.

Sixth pregnancy: You veto all your older kids' weird ideas ("We're not naming the baby Voldemort or WWW-Dot-Com.")

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First Pregnancy: Proudly display ultrasound pictures on the fridge, scan and send them to relatives, and post them online.

Sixth pregnancy: Find them crumpled at the bottom of your purse with Cheerios stuck to them 3 weeks later.

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First Pregnancy: Spend a weekend in your third trimester filling your freezer up with wholesome freezer meals for after the baby comes.

Sixth pregnancy: Plan to get by with cereal night for dinner 3 times a week for the first few months of baby's life.

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First pregnancy: Pass the time before your prenatal appointments leafing through pregnancy magazines and/or chatting with your husband in the waiting room.

Sixth pregnancy: Pass the time before appointments trying to keep your toddler from breaking things, climbing on the furniture, or touching your urine sample ("That is not apple juice!") in the office's restroom. 

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First Pregnancy: You schedule a prenatal massage to help you relax.

Sixth pregnancy: Your ideal relaxation would be spending 10 minutes alone in the bathroom, but you'd settle for your older kids trying a little harder to stop headbutting you in the stomach. 


*** 

First Pregnancy: Pack your hospital bag with scented candles, a journal, a pillow, massage oil and a tennis ball, and a stopwatch 2 months before you're due.

Sixth pregnancy: Grab your camera on the way out the door and figure your husband can bring a bringing-home-baby outfit to the hospital later.

*** 

First pregnancy: You are teensy and cute well into the third trimester of pregnancy, at which point you simply look like a skinny lady shoplifting a basketball.

Sixth pregnancy: Your uterus is like a pop-up book by now, so no need to announce your pregnancy to anyone. You start showing immediately, and you spend the last month looking like a water buffalo.

19 comments:

  1. This is so funny. And it makes me nervous. Haha! :)

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    1. You should be! Just kidding, it's awesome.

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  2. Aww, some were really funny! I have 3 kids and not sure if we'll have more. I'd like to though! Just wondering if 4 is a lot harder than 3 haha.

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    1. My personal opinion is that babies are hard, no matter how many you have. Once you find your groove after each baby comes, I wouldn't say it's harder or easier with more or less kids, just different. In many ways, having many hands makes light work. It also creates more of that light work. It's a trade off but for our family, has proved to be totally worth it.

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  3. This is way too funny and all too true. I was guilty of many of these in my second (and last) pregnancy.

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  4. Lol, so true, I'm on my 5th and things are very different now. I know which things are worth worrying about and which are no big deal. I think I took a prenatal vitamin recently (I think, maybe). My husband used to come to every check up with me, but now he stays home with the kids whenever possible (if his work schedule allows) so the office time is less chaotic. Plus, this time I'll be blogging through my pregnancy! When you get time, I'd love for you to come check out my corner of the blogosphere at http://fearfultofearlessblog.com

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    1. I remember feeling like we were on vacation at the hospital for the two days we were in the hospital after baby was born - my husband just stayed there all the time and the three of us could've been the only people in the world for all I cared! Once you have others at home it's not nearly so leisurely - someone's got to get right home to pick the kids up, and it's not going to be the lady who just gave birth!

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  5. There are funny and true! Practicality takes over by this time and there's too much going on in the household to think about all you did during your first pregnancy!

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    1. Definitely! I think I was always practical to a fault, but having a big family has only pushed me more that way!

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  6. Love this, Jenny! Another one that is truly honest and hilarious for all parents. I've been hearing the same sentiments from a few moms as well. That any pregnancy after the first goes by much quickly and we hardly notice the little things that we used to--baby size, pregnancy pictures, etc...--with the first baby. Either way, the excitement of a newborn is there, right? That's all that matters any way.

    Thanks for such a lovely read at #SHINEbloghop this week. We're so happy you were able to join us. Hope you have a great weekend and a wonderful holiday!

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    1. Absolutely does not diminish the excitement of the new addition to your pregnancy. But there is definitely a "been there, done that" factor to most parts of the pregnancy after you've been around the track a few times!

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  7. So so true! I think back on my first pregnancy 50 or so pounds ago and just sigh inwardly. With six under my belt, I can attest what you have written is totally accurate! :) Good luck. I hope you aren't too uncomfortable.

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    1. Not too bad. I think I'm at the point where I can't wear my wedding rings anymore, but at least I made it halfway through!

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  8. This is so silly and probably true! I can at least relate to the first pregnancy thing! I honestly want only three kids but who knows? Maybe I'll have a 6th pregnancy one day!

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    1. I've talked to moms who said this was totally applicable to their third or even their second pregnancy!

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  9. I just about peed myself laughing...

    Mother of 5

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