Monday, August 8, 2016

No Such Thing as a Stupid Question

As a blogger, I love Google Analytics. Yeah, yeah, it gives me great statistical information I can use to better my blog and blah blah blah, but I'm talking about the entertainment value.

You see, I can see the search terms that led people to my blog, and you have no idea what strange questions and weird topics people have Googled and somehow ended up on Unremarkable Files.

No Such Thing as a Stupid Question -- 12 strange questions, bizarre topics, and weird search terms that had led people to my blog.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

why cant i be at the beach
Because you're at your computer Googling? I would suggest maybe putting on a suit and getting in your car and seeing what happens.

what is an unremarkable uterus
Sounds like your OB-GYN is kind of heavy with the put-downs. Like you can help it if there's nothing special about your uterus. Anyway, it's what's on the inside that counts (I mean that metaphorically, because apparently your literal insides are just kind of meh.)

about to pee myself
Yeah, me too. It's not your fault, it's just what happens after you have kids.

are skinny jeans comfortable

funny reasons for being late
My life is a funny reason for being late. You've come to the right place.

big families have a lot of this to do
Okay, I get it. This is like Jeopardy.

What is, "compulsively counting heads when you go out in public"?
What is, "eating birthday cake"?
What is, "sorting through giant mounds of shoes in the mudroom to find a match"?

This is fun.

i can't find my baby i don't know where i don't know why
I'm really hoping these are song lyrics or something. Because otherwise I'm thinking I should call the police.

i'm a different mess than i was yesterday
What a positive way to look at it! I'm going to start saying this to myself in the mirror every morning.

i'm not in charge
Actually, this is what I say to myself in the morning. Sometimes it really freaks me out that this house, my van, and no less than 6 small people are all in my marginally capable hands. Surely this isn't the best idea.

flying squirrel skeleton
Not sure which is more horrifying, that someone searched for this or that I have a post on it.

funny uterus memes
What's with all the 'uterus' searches, anyway?

sick of cleaning up after everyone

So thank you, people of the Internet, for following your bizarre search queries to Unremarkable Files. Even if I couldn't tell you exactly why you aren't at the beach, aren't you glad you came?

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Kendall said...

This really made me chuckle...and remember I haven't been by to visit in awhile! Glad I stopped over today :)

PurpleSlob said...

Oh wow! I need to do that, so I can see what weird stuff brings people to me!
Flying squirrel skeletons?? Really?? I gotta go check that one out!!

AnneMarie said...

I'm dying. Like, I have tears in my eyes right now-these are the best! I'm intrigued by all the uterus searches, too.

Queen Mom Jen said...

Haha! I almost wet myself reading some of these. Too funny! This made my day :)

Jenny Evans said...

Pretty crazy stuff happens here, I tell you.

Nicole The Professional Mom Project said...

These are too funny! What's with the uteruses and flying squirrel skeletons?!?

Nicole | The Professional Mom Project

Rachel said...

Song lyrics...emergency lyrics....emergency situation...tough call.

I like the jeopardy one, too!

Erin said...

This made me laugh so hard and now I want to go check for my search terms! ;) I love "I'm a different mess than I was yesterday" so much - thanks for giving me my new mantra! lol

Julie - Happy, Frugal Mama said...

Hahahaha!!! I love this. All the uterus questions. I have nothing exciting my in search terms right now. #Titus2Tuesday

Unknown said...

This is too funny! I haven't mastered Google analytics yet, so I haven't looked at the search terms. I'm a little nervous about what I'll find!