7 Quick Takes about Spring Break, Political Bumper Stickers, and the Intersection of Mathematics and Poetry

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

—1—

We just got back from the best spring break vacation ever. Our family of 8 — that's six kids ages 5 through 17 — plus my mom spent the week in Miami!

As you can imagine, we fit in perfectly with all the college spring breakers.

—2—

Our trip was amazing, but also full of "did that just happen?" moments. It began with a dead rat in the backyard of our VRBO and ended with my son breaking a window on the plane. I can't make these things up, you guys.

The kids were the first ones to discover the dead rat, and luckily my mom is fearless and disposed of it by double-bagging her hand and throwing it in the outside garbage.

Things at the VRBO were fine after this.

It was an isolated incident, but we were all relieved when the friend taking care of our pet rats Scout and Piper at home texted us the next day to let us know they were doing okay.

When we flew home, the landing was not smooth and when the wheels hit the runway with a big lurch, my 13-year-old's elbow smashed into the window.

Oops.

I'm assuming there's at least one or more heavy-duty panes behind the cracked plexiglass, standing between us and being sucked out into the wild blue yonder. But perhaps I'll feel better if I don't ask too many questions.

—3—

Driving around when I got back to New England was a sad and disappointing experience after views out my windshield like this one became a regular thing:

The traffic in Miami was horrendous and the pedestrians had no sense of self-preservation, but the roads were impeccably well-maintained and I couldn't get enough of all the palm trees lining the streets. 

—4—

Speaking of driving in Miami, I saw this sticker on the back of a tank truck that vacuums out port-a-potties.

"Caution: This vehicle is full of political promises."

Just think about it for a minute. It'll come to you.

—5—

Something else I loved about our trip was being surrounded by so much Spanish. We were staying in Little Havana, so it was everywhere. 

I took Spanish classes all through high school and just the sound of it makes me terribly happy, but unfortunately the saying "if you don't use it you lose it" is true. 

Lately I've been trying to brush up on the Internet, and it's so weird how I can barely construct simple sentences but I can still translate a fair amount. Most of what I learned 20 years ago is still in there, I just can't remember how to access it. Brains are so weird!

I'm already salivating over the idea of a vacation to somewhere Spanish-speaking next year, so please comment below with your favorite language learning or practicing apps and resources; I'm going to need them.

—6—

At the end of our last day on the beach, we took a late night flight home to New England. The 48-degree weather that felt a lot colder because it was also windy and drizzly, and when we walked in the door just after 1:30 AM the house was freezing because we'd set the thermostat to 59 degrees while we were gone. 

I immediately put on my warmest and fuzziest sweatshirt which happens to say "I'm So Freaking Cold" on it, and it never felt so appropriate as it did at that moment.

—7—

Now we're back into the rhythm of school, and my 16-year-old told me one of her assignments was to "write a haiku about a logarithm."

I asked if she'd recite it to me, and I liked it so much I think I'll reprint it here for your reading pleasure.

Running out of room

Quickly with such a long word.

Logarithms are—

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7 Quick Takes about Baby Yoda, What To Do When You See a Crime Scene, and Brave Mannequins at the Mall

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

—1—

As I filled up the kids' Easter baskets last Friday night and set them side-by-side (we save Sunday for Jesus and do Easter baskets on Saturday in our house), it occured to me this will be the last time we ever line up all 6 in a row. My oldest is going to college in the fall, and this time next year she'll be away at college.

I didn't get too misty about it, however, because she was out of town for the weekend anyway so we'd already had our last Easter physically all together. Whoops.

—2—

Have you ever seen the movie Prince of Egypt. It's an animated musical retelling of the story of Moses and the Israelites, and since we just read it in our study of the Old Testament and it coincides with Passover which is depicted in the movie, watching it over Easter weekend was pretty much a given. 

(It's a great movie but if you've read the actual Biblical account with your kids be prepared to have a discussion with them about what the phrase "artistic liberties" means.)

I was planning to watch the movie for free on Disney+ but the kids searched and said it wasn't available, so they asked me what we should do instead. I said "I think it's on Amazon Prime for, like, three bucks."

"Three bucks?!?" The 5-year-old exclaimed. "I'm not payin' for any of that!"

—3—

My mom sent the kids a giant Baby Yoda gummy (with a little frog!) for Easter and it was the cutest thing I'd ever seen.

But very disturbing when your 10-year-old severs its head and slices it into pieces so all the siblings can share.

—4—

I follow a scripture study for kids manual with the 5- and 7-year-olds, and the Easter portion was a little heavy. It asked us to read Isaiah 53: 5, then asked the esoteric question, "How do you feel knowing that 'with his stripes we are healed'?"

Well, first we had to talk about what that means because blank stares. But when I rephrased the question and asked, "How do you feel about Jesus getting in trouble for something we did so we don't have to?" I got some insightful answers.

The 7-year-old thoughtfully said, "Sad... but also happy."

The 5-year-old narrowed his eyes and said, "On a scale of 1 to 10: not fair."

—5—

I don't often venture into the kids' bathroom, but I did the other day and was instantly sorry.

The drawers were all hanging open, everything they'd ever used to get ready in the morning was scattered all over the counter, and wet towels were strewn around the room. The trash was literally overflowing with bloody tissues, since my 16-year-old has been having daily nosebleeds all week (could be caused by allergies, possibly to taking out the trash.)

I decided I had three options:

1. Clean it all up myself
2. Close the door and pretend I never saw anything
3. Grab some chalk and draw the outline of a body on the floor because it looked like a murder scene in there

I was severely tempted to go with option 3, but knowing that kids tend to one-up their parents instead of taking the hint, I settled for option 2 and hoped for the best.

—6—

I flipped over a copy of Reader's Digest the other day and was slapped in the face with this ad:

Apparently comfortable arch support is the main draw of these shoes now.

I know things change a lot, but I remember when Skechers was so cool. In middle school, their ads were in Seventeen magazine as the thing you had to have if you wanted to be remotely cool, good-looking, and popular.

Now they're the footwear equivalent of the granny sweatpants advertised in the Sunday coupon circulars.

Not that I was under any illusion that I understood anything about fashion now. This week I took my teenagers clothes shopping and was having trouble even identifying which articles of clothing in the junior's department I was looking at. Everything is so flowy now, it could be anything: skirt, top, tablecloth, poncho, tarp... who knows. Just don't wear it with Skechers if you want to be cool, apparently.

—7—

Also while we were shopping, I saw this bathing suit on a mannequin and the first thing I thought was: with those cutouts in the side and shoulder, it looks like she's been in a shark attack.

When I looked closer, I realized the mannequin was also missing a hand on that side and had probably been in a shark attack FOR REAL, and then I felt really bad for making fun of her.

She's a survivor, not the butt of a joke. 

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Becoming a Part-Time Empty Nester

"So you're a part-time empty nester now!" my friend Bridget joked on my youngest child's first day of kindergarten.

I laughed and told her I was surprised with how uneventful the transition was. When my son climbed on the bus on that first morning, I waved goodbye and skipped back into the house to work on my million mile long to-do list and didn't have any qualms about it. 

Everything seemed strangely fine. I seemed fine.

A few weeks later another friend asked how I was handling having all my babies in school, and when my eyes started leaking in the middle of my answer (weird!) I realized I wasn't as fine as I thought.

It's not that I don't love the morning quiet. Cleaning up the house in the morning and knowing it will stay that way for six hours is nothing short of amazing. And it isn't like my little boy has even left me yet: he still cuddles with me and laughs at my corny jokes after school like he did before. 

But still, I felt a profound loss I couldn't quite name. I finally figured it out weeks later, in line at the grocery store watching an exhausted young mom with a cart full of Gerber puffs playing peek-a-boo with her 9-month-old.

I'd been standing there staring off into space, but not her. She could fill every spare second — in fact, she had to fill every spare second — connecting with the little person who mattered most in the world. 

When you have little ones at your side all the time, you don't have to go looking for moments like that one in line at the grocery store, they find you. They're relentless at finding you. They find you in the middle of the night, they paw at you while you make dinner, they pound on the bathroom door shrieking until you let them in. It's overwhelming, because that's what motherhood is: too much of a good thing.

And for the first time in my career as a mom, I don't have access to those moments 24/7. It was once inconceivable to me that meaningful connection with my kids would require effort and planning. But here we are, squeezing it in between school and their various sports and activities.

When my kids were still little, I thought women who raved about their kids growing older were lying to themselves. They'd say how great it was not to mop up spilled milk at the dinner table and finally decorate the bottom third of the Christmas tree (with breakable ornaments, even!) and I'd think, So what? That's a sad consolation prize.

Now that I'm in their place, doing the same thing, I realize I was only half-right. Given the choice between a solo trip to the bathroom and the unconditional love and affection of a toddler, I'd choose the toddler every time. It's no contest.

But I don't get to make that choice, and it's not a contest anyway. Those older moms were just choosing to find the good in their current stage of life, whatever it was.

If I'm going to thrive in, and maybe even enjoy, my new life as a part-time empty nester, I'm going to need to celebrate the good things about where I am right now.

It doesn't come naturally to me, delighting in a life that isn't filled from sunup to sundown with hugs and kisses from a sticky 3-year-old. The joys, as well as the hard parts, of raising big kids are different.

Moms wrangling toddlers in Target, if I look a little too long or smile a little too hard when you pass by, please forgive me. I remember so fondly the place you're in right now and always will. But now it's time to move from living those days to smiling at photographs of them as the kids and I plan our next adventure together.

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7 Quick Takes about Being a Pariah, Well-Done Tortillas, and the Real First Day of Spring

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

—1—

The 17-year-old's school play was this weekend. It went great, but unfortunately, she'd caught my cold. 

She'd been trying so hard to avoid it, too, wearing a mask around me and refusing to touch anything after I did. (It's very flattering when your teenagers refuse to have anything to do with you including breathing your air.)

But by throwing everything she had at it — prayer, chugging water, breathing steam, drinking honey tea, consuming an entire bag of cough drops during each performance — she somehow made it through her solo and was overall pretty pleased with how the whole thing went.

—2—

The other night I was trying to finish up a few things but it meant that the younger kids' bedtime was pushing later and later. At one point I glanced at the clock and reflexively groaned, "It's so late! I need to get you guys in bed, I'm the worst mom!"

I didn't think anyone was listening but the 8-year-old told me, "Well, you're not the wooorst mom."

Which would've been sweet if his inflection hadn't suggested that I might be the second-worst mom, or perhaps the third.

—3—

If you'd dropped by our house last Saturday you'd probably have been greeted by these charred tortillas. 

Tried to get a picture when they were actually on fire, but I didn't know where my camera was.

I shouldn't be allowed to use the broiler on the oven. It takes just long enough to get bored standing there, but not long enough to complete a task before they burst into actual flames and you have to run outside and fling them into the puddle in the driveway to put them out.

Embarrassingly enough, I had to go somewhere right after this happened and these testaments to my scatterbrained nature stayed in the driveway for the rest of the day. 

So it's quite possible that someone did come by and get greeted by these tortillas at some point.

—4—

The other day, the weather got warm enough that I threw open all the windows and aired out the whole house. I love doing that. It's a ritual that's come to me to mean "Spring is here!"

As I was driving around later that day, I saw the older man who lives on the corner chilling in his lawn chair in the yard like he does for most of the spring/summer, so that's two signs of spring in one week.

I don't care what the vernal equinox says, the first day of spring is when I see those two things happen.

—5—

I wanted to go out with my friend Bridget, but figuring out the rides situation for the kids was going to require some juggling. 

It was finally decided that after I dropped my 10-year-old at soccer practice, Bridget would pick me up in her car, leaving my van free for the 17-year-old to drive herself and her siblings to a church youth activity.

But through a series of unfortunate events, I ended up being so late to drop my daughter off that Bridget got there before we even left the house. "Would it be okay if we just dropped her off on the way?" I asked, and we both piled into Bridget's car.

As if I didn't feel like enough of a hot mess, I realized halfway to the soccer field I'd accidentally taken the van keys with me, and we had to go back home to give them to my 17-year-old.

So after 30 minutes of chauffeuring me all over town doing my errands, Bridget was finally able to go out and have a good time with me. I'm telling you, being my friend is a lot of work sometimes.

—6—

My teenager has a hard time finding clothes, so she has very few warm weather things to wear. We're going shopping on Monday, but she was worried she wasn't going to be able to find anything.

After talking about the situation, we decided to physically go through her dresser drawers and as usually happens, things aren't as bad as you think. She at least has a few things to wear, so it lessened her stress to know that even if our shopping trip isn't that fruitful, she probably won't be just rotating between two potato sacks all summer.

Later that afternoon, I took my own advice and went to go look at a container in the garage that I assumed was too full to hold what I needed it to. Turns out there was plenty of room inside, and if I'd just gotten up and looked at it first, I wouldn't have wasted time pricing new containers (too expensive) and brainstorming other solutions. 

So my motherly advice to you is, if you're stressed about a situation then take an objective look at it. Odds are, it's not as bad as you think.

—7—

My 15-year-old played violin in a spring recital, and I didn't realize until she told me that it was the first time she's performed a solo in public two years because of COVID. 

The cookies afterward were fantastic.

It made me think about seeing if we can get a few families together to perform for the residents at a local nursing home. I was thinking out loud, wondering if that's allowed again with the pandemic and whether we could set something up for the summer.

"I think I'll have the Chaconne ready by then," my 15-year-old said, referring to a beautiful piece she's learning that J.S. Bach wrote as a memorial for his first wife after her death. "But maybe if it's at a nursing home, I won't share the backstory."

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Where Snacks and Inspiration Meet

To my friends, I usually describe "general conference" as a bunch of TED talks from the worldwide leaders of my church. Those leaders are inspired prophets and apostles of Jesus Christ that offer guidance, direction, peace, and hope.

Even though it's addressed to the whole world, I believe every single person can come away from general conference with a message uniquely meant for them, so I look forward to watching general conference every 6 months.

So do my kids, but apparently for different reasons. "Are we getting ready for church?" the 5-year-old asked me last weekend, right before the Sunday morning session of conference began.

"Sort of. It's not regular church today, it's general conference."

"Good," he said. "General conference is better."

"What do you like about it?"

He shrugged.

"Then why is it better?" I asked.

"Because screens trigger dopamine!" (Obviously the family dopamine detox we did a while ago left a big impression on his little mind.)

Of course continued the kids' beloved Conference Snacks™ tradition, but time my health-conscious 15-year-old came to the store with me so we ended up with stuff like pomegranate seeds, dried apricots, and cassava chips... but there were also cookies and sour gummy worms to balance it out. 

I joke about it, but honestly I ♥ the cassava chips.

Each snack has a leader's picture on it, which the kids get to eat when that person gives a talk, so from one conference to the next the kids keep track of who had which snack last time. It's easiest to remember Elder Cook, whose picture is always on the cookies. 

You should've seen my 8-year-old throw his paper and pencil into the air and run to the kitchen screaming "ELDER COOOOOOK!!" when he got up to speak.

Watching Elder Oaks on the TV we brought upstairs.

We also write down a sentence or two about what each person said and collect them all in a Ziploc at the end of the talk. The 5-year-old is getting old enough to catch at least a little of the meaning on his own now, so his notes are hands-down the cutest.

"You can NOT control other people. You CAN control you." -President Nelson

Also this one:

"Don't cause fights, stop fights." -Elder Andersen

There were so many great talks in this April conference, but here's a quick list of a few of my favorites:

If you're searching for happiness and peace seems hard to find, you'll want to read or listen to these words from Elder Holland. 

If you want to know why Latter-day Saints don't believe in hell, here's a great explanation from Elder Oaks.

If you're wondering how to find balance in life, follow this advice from Elder Uchtdorf.

If you've been (or are being) abused or wronged, this talk from Elder Kearon was written just for you.

If you want to improve the quality of your scripture study, Elder Pace has some great suggestions.

If you're trying to change something in your life but don't know how to succeed, try this inspiring sermon from Elder Hamilton. 

And if you're ready to scream if you see one more person arguing on Facebook, read what Elder Andersen says the world needs most right now.

One of the bajillion coloring pages the kids did throughout the 8 hours of general conference.

If you take a look at any or all of these links, I probably won't need to explain very much why I love general conference. It's like getting a Pauline epistle written specifically to me, from modern-day apostles and prophets who are telling us what God wants us to know right now.

As much as I enjoy the dark chocolate Oreos and my kids' cute misspellings, even more important to me is the peace and optimism in Jesus Christ that settles over our home and my attitude without fail when I really listen.

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7 Quick Takes about Phoning It In, When the Common Cold Never Ends, and Unlocking the Secrets of the Baby Human

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

—1—

When Phillip had a particularly stressful day, I suggested using one of his homemade birthday coupons from the kids. 

(If you've ever successfully used up a coupon book from your kids, please tell me your secrets, because Phillip's birthday was last November and these things are going to be around forever.)

Picking one from the 5-year-old entitling him to any commissioned artwork of his choice, Phillip asked him, "Can you draw me a picture of a nice beach so I can imagine going on vacation and being in the sunshine?"  

Translated, this says "I will draw a picture."

The 5-year-old nodded and ran out of the room, then ran back in about 30 seconds later with this:

Sooooo relaxing. I can practically hear the waves of the ocean.

—2—

General conference was last weekend, which I spent parked on the couch feeling like I was clearing my mind while simultaneously filling it with good things. There were so many valuable thoughts on living peacefully, taking advantage of the gifts of repentance and change, and sharing the joy of Jesus Christ.

My all-around favorite talk, however, was by Dieter F. Uchtdorf, an apostle of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that addressed the concept of balance. He said:

"If we want to find balance in life... then our commitment to Him and His gospel can't be casual or occasional... As we seek to purify our lives and look unto Christ in every thought, everything else begins to align.  Life no longer feels like a long list of separate efforts held in tenuous balance. Over time, it all becomes one work: the work of loving and serving God and [His] children."

If you have time, I definitely recommend listening to the full talk. (And if you do watch, the reason everyone starts laughing at 5:43 is that Elder Uchtdorf was a pilot in his early life and a running inside joke in our church is "How long can Elder Uchtdorf go without talking about planes?" The answer is, "Usually not more than 5 minutes." The man loves what he did.) 

And yes, our family did do Conference Snacks™ again this time. More on that in a post next week.

—3—

The other thing I've spent a lot of time doing this week is hacking up a lung. Most places have rescinded the masks mandates so the kids are bringing home 1,000 germs and I have caught all of them.

And because of the immunosuppressants I'm on for my discoid lupus, even simple colds don't go away. After two weeks of being sick, I finally just stopped taking them for a few days so I can recover. 

I'm very lucky that I can choose to do that (many people can't because their immunosuppressants are keeping their bodies from rejecting a transplanted organ) but still, I need to talk to my rheumatologist about other options. 

Immunosuppressants were fine when everyone was in a mask and 6 feet apart all the time, but now that the kids are all back to licking each other at school and there's no mask keeping their germy fingers out of their noses, I don't think it's going to work out in our petri dish of a house.

—4—

I came across this sweet video of the Bus Brothers. Their Instagram account's tagline is "Having a little fun, want to make memories with my lil bro before I leave for college!"

Brothers are so cute, and it's good to see it isn't just my boys who think punching, shoving, and low-key assaulting each other is a valid form of affection.

—5—

My teenager recently told me about Birds Aren't Real, a parody conspiracy theory that birds are actually government surveillance drones, so when I saw this game called Conspiracy Theory I thought it would fit right in with her sense of humor.

We didn't know any of the real-life conspiracy theories the game is based on, so it was a little hard to play, but we had fun scanning the QR codes on each card to learn more about each weird conspiracy theory and reading it out loud to each other.

Also, I don't mean to alarm anyone but as I type this there's a line of "birds" resting on the power lines on the street right outside my house. They're probably charging.

—6—

The YouTube algorithm decided I might like this series of clips called "The Baby Human Experiments," and it was right. Don't worry, it sounds twisted but it's not at all. I think it was done by NYU and appears to be part of a video made in the 80s. 

Why do I find this so fascinating? 

The other ones are just like this, trying to pinpoint how the minds of babies and toddlers work in different situations. 

—7—

My church doesn't formally observe Lent, but many individuals often choose to concentrate on Holy Week, the 8-day period before Easter starting with Palm Sunday.

I found this set of Holy Week printables (free, of course, which goes without saying if you know me at all) that I think I'm going to use with my kids and see how it pans out. What are you doing to make Easter special this year?

I look forward to hearing your ideas, both here and on Facebook. And if you're not sure what you'll do, maybe check out some of the suggestions on this list or this one. Happy Holy Week!

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7 Quick Takes about Getting a Social Life Again, Crash Courses in Shoelace-Tying, and Santa's Little Helpers

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

—1—

For the first time in over two years, we invited another family over for dinner. 

I've never been the most natural hostess in the world (as a general rule I feel awkward about most group social situations), but I've never felt so completely clueless: how do we feed this many people? where does everyone sit? I felt like it was our first time ever inviting guests over.

Re-learning how to people is hard.

—2—

For most of the day Saturday, I was out of the house. Between having to run various kids to work, play practice, and orchestra, I also took them shopping for clothes and shoes. 

When I finally was done taxi-driving for the evening, I braced myself, opened the door of the house, and did a walkthrough of the house. 

As expected, the kitchen counters were overflowing with dirty dishes. The laundry room appeared to have been pillaged by Viking raiders. The younger kids were now feral and had piled every couch cushion and bed linen in the house in the middle of the living room to make a fort. And in the master bathroom I was greeted with this sight:

We've been having some problems with moisture getting into the walls and ceiling in our master bathroom, and Phillip was replacing the ceiling fan. 

I honestly have a love-hate relationship with YouTube. It teaches Phillip how to take apart everything in our house and fix it himself, but... it also teaches Phillip how to take apart everything in our house and fix it himself. 

—3—

When my 2^nd grader saw his older siblings coming home from the store with new shoes, he chose that particular time to tell me he needed new ones, too. His timing is impeccable.

I asked him to show me his old ones, and when he stuck his hand inside I could see his fingers in three places. So yeah, this kid needs new shoes, like, yesterday.

We ordered some online, then tried them on when they arrived and threw out the old holey pair. It wasn't until the next morning before school that I realized: this was his first pair of non-Velcro shoes and he couldn't tie them himself. But he had about 45 minutes to learn.

You know how your parents or grandparents learned how to swim when their dads just threw them in the deep end of the pool? Well, this was the shoe-tying version of that.

—4—

I don't know what got them all excited about Santa right now (this is kind of the Easter Bunny's moment) but the kids have been playing Santa at home.

I've been finding things like this around the house:

Santa's demanding to-do list

And occasionally catching my son hard at work drawing up the "nice" and "naughty" lists for the year:

They made a terrible mess doing it, but even I had to admit I was impressed with their creativity when they repurposed our tan couch cushions for "reindeer," set them up on their sides, and hitched them to a big cardboard box with yarn to replicate Santa's sleigh.

—5—

Every once in a while, I call the pediatrician's office just to check whether I've scheduled all my kids' checkups for the year. (I'm not going to lie, this is usually when I get an email from the school nurse threatening to kick them off the school sports teams if I don't get them a current physical for their files.)

It always makes for a funny call to the office.

"Hi, can you check when each of my kids last had physicals and whether I need to schedule one for them?" I ask the receptionist, and at first she's all "Sure!" about it.

After I've given the names and birthdates for the first two and made the necessary appointments she tries to say "Thank you for calling, bye!" and I'm like "Waaaiiit a minute, I'm just getting started!" and keep her on the phone for ten more minutes checking the rest of them.

I'm pleased to have you know I got a perfect score, by the way, on the little quiz portion where I have to give everyone's name and birthdate. Well, I said the wrong year for one kid. But still. Pretty good, right?

—6—

"Mom, look at this!" my 13-year-old yelled to me while making breakfast.

A heart-shaped egg yolk, top center.

And it's not even Valentine's Day.

—7—

For the past month, I've been watching the world's craziness on the news and getting more and more excited to hear my church leaders address the world at general conference on Saturday and Sunday.

One thing prophets do is help us be prepared for what the future holds, and I'm convinced that the best way to have peace, stay happy, and have hope in these troubled times is to listen to them, just like it was back in Bible times when Moses and Noah were prophets.

For example: before this pandemic, our prophet's unrelenting emphasis was on making your home (not the church) the center for your spiritual growth, and then all church activity was disrupted for two years and the reason why became crystal clear.

I hope you all have a great weekend, and if you feel so inclined please watch this slightly cheesy video about general conference and what it is, and feel free to tune in on April 2^nd and 3^rd (12-2 and 4-6 EST). Everybody is welcome!

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