Wednesday, May 1, 2019

Date Night Before and After Kids

Some people love to be all gloom and doom when you say you're pregnant. "Everything's going to change after you have kids," they warn, "especially your marriage."

Okay, but I'm here to tell you that it absolutely doesn't. You can still do all the things together that you used to love before having kids... sort of.

There are lots of differences between life with kids vs without. This mom does a funny look at how your marriage changes. Date night means something completely different when you have kids than when you don’t! #funny #parentinghumor #momlife #marriage

For example:

If your ideal pre-kid date was going to the orchestra...


Post-kid you is going to love your new date night: sitting in a sweaty auditorium listening to the elementary school choir sing a medley from Moana.

If your ideal pre-kid date was a day at the museum...


Post-kid you will enjoy walking around your house appreciating the contemporary art drawn all over your furniture and walls.

If your ideal pre-kid date was eating at a fondue-themed restaurant and bringing home dessert...


Post-kid you will enjoy eating at an animatronic puppet-themed restaurant and bringing home rotavirus from the ball pit!



If your ideal pre-kid date was browsing a bookstore...


Post-kid you will like tearing the house apart and searching under all the seats in your van for the missing library copy of Fancy Nancy

If your ideal pre-kid date was training for a 5k together...


Post-kid you is going to love tag-teaming it through the marathon that is putting the kids to bed every night!

If your ideal pre-kid date was walking through a botanical garden...


Post-kid you will have fun going on a romantic stroll through the dandelions that were previously your front lawn.

If your ideal pre-kid date was going on a scenic drive and stargazing...


Post-kid you will like driving around on the hunt for a gas station and then staring off into space for what feels like forever as you stand beside the toilet waiting for your preschooler to go.

If your ideal pre-kid date was going to the ballet...


Post-kid you will enjoy watching your kindergartner flossing to literally any music that happens to come on.

If your ideal pre-kid date was a night at the drive-in movies...


Post-kid you is going to love afternoon trips through the drive-thru at McDonald's!

If your ideal pre-kid date was going to an escape room...


Post-kid you will get a kick out of attempting to escape from your sleeping baby's room without waking him.

If your ideal pre-kid date was browsing an antiques store...


Post-kid you will like rooting through your closet for something in your wardrobe that says "I'm still young and hip and with it..." and finding nothing.

If your ideal pre-kid date was staying up late talking about your hopes and dreams for the future...


Post-kid you will still do the exact same thing, except now your hopes and dreams come downstairs and wake you up in the middle of the night to tell you that their elbow hurts.

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I guess like most things, your relationship with your spouse does change a little after kids. Spending time together at an enjoyable activity (known to couples without children as "everyday life") might become a little more difficult.

But no matter what your favorite kind of date night, it's good to know you can still go on enjoying something similar after kids.

Or at least something similar-ish.
There are lots of differences between life with kids vs without. This mom does a funny look at how your marriage changes. Date night means something completely different when you have kids than when you don’t! #funny #parentinghumor #momlife #marriage

There are lots of differences between life with kids vs without. This mom does a funny look at how your marriage changes. Date night means something completely different when you have kids than when you don’t! #funny #parentinghumor #momlife #marriage
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5 comments:

The Lady Okie said...

Ha! Cracking up at the escape from the baby's room. It's so true. And WHY is getting kids to bed the actual worst. I can keep my patience for the most part during the day, but in the evening is when I lose it. Stay in bed for the love of everything!!

AnneMarie said...

Haha! The romantic stroll through dandelions is totally us-we don't have high maintenance landscaping or anything, but we seem to be incapable of keeping the grass mowed and weeds in check now that we have two kids. Thankfully our neighbors don't seem to care, and it definitely hearkens back to the days when we'd take walks through the more untamed "woodsy" part of our college campus pre-kids!

PurpleSlob said...

Similar-ish!! Jenny you should be a humor writer! Oh, wait! You are! Accomplishment to check off on your bucket list!

Kath said...

If pre-kid you knew without a doubt that you would never discover a greater love than that which you feel for your partner, post-kid you will discover the kind of love that will enable you to, quite literally, lay down your life to preserve or protect the object of that love. A love that will grow exponentially with each passing day...hour...minute.

Jenny Evans said...

AnneMarie, I always say that I can either keep the kids or the grass alive, and I've made my choice. Makes me sound principled instead of just unable to get my act together.