—1—
Well, this wouldn't be Unremarkable Files if I didn't start off my telling you about my Mother's Day breakfast from Sunday, would it?
Wait, I don't think you got a good enough look at those chocolate-covered strawberries.
That's better.
Those three big breakfast Croissant sandwiches looked like enough food to fuel me for the entire day. Yet I ate them all and somehow still made room for the chocolate strawberries.
Which just goes to show that with enough determination, you can do anything.
—2—
Our family has the best Mother's Day tradition: first Phillip, who's a spectacular cook, brings me breakfast in bed. Then the kids come in to show me all their cute cards and crafts. Third — and this is the most important — he herds everyone out and they're not allowed back in until I open the door.
I can hear them screaming out there as he's getting them fed and dressed, but on Mother's Day morning it's officially Not My Problem. I just leisurely eat my breakfast and maybe read.
Church this year starts at 9 AM (last year it was 1 PM) so things were a little rushed. And by 'a little rushed' I mean that we absolutely showed up late.
—3—
My 5-year-old was being super-secretive at the library earlier that week and presented this handmade card to me Mother's Day morning:
That spelling. I die. |
"Thank you," I said. "Did you write this yourself?"
"Yes, but I didn't know how to spell it so I copied Ruth's."
In case you're wondering, Ruth is 6.
I asked my daughter if she'd ever heard the phrase "blind leading the blind," but she said no.
Another one of my children made me a coupon book for various chores and services around the house, including a blank one in the back. I can write in whatever I want. The power is going to my head.
This is the written version of a trust fall. |
My 13-year-old made me some bath bombs, which I won't share a picture of because they looked like moldy biscuits. But they did smell like Froot Loops and turn the water blue with sparkles, so what more could I ask for?
—4—
Our church had a talent show, and my all-time favorite act was twin brothers in our congregation doing the song "Agony" from Into the Woods.
They were so good, you guys, and it was hilarious. I haven't seen Into the Woods, so I came home and watched the song on YouTube.
(If you haven't seen it either, this is a song between Cinderella's prince and Rapunzel's prince, waxing melodramatic about who's got it worse.)
My kids asked to watch this video about 12 times and I laughed at the "if there only were doors" line every time.
—5—
Possibly this is a little TMI for my male readers, so all three of you might want to skip ahead right now while I talk to the ladies about something funny.
I'll wait.
Okay girls, so I was shopping online for a menstrual cup, and honestly, I have never seen a product that has spawned so many truly awful brand names.
Of course I'd already heard of the Diva Cup, which is a terribly flamboyant name for what it is. But I discovered so many worse ones on Amazon.
There's the Athena Cup, which was dreamed up by a bunch of bald guys around a table in the boardroom to make us feel like mighty women.
Then there's the FemmyCycle Cup. To me this has sort of a 1950s ring to it, when women called periods their "monthly" and everyone was collectively mortified by the very idea.
And lastly, I challenge you not to groan out loud at the gross name of the Bloody Buddy. That's a real product, cross my heart.
Honestly, people. I am so disappointed in the human race today.
—6—
The Internet is a weird place, since you blog about something and you never know what's going to be popular and when it's going to get that way.
A few weeks ago, I wrote about how we are collectively suffering from parenting FOMO, and it exploded on Facebook.
If you feel the constant pressure to provide your kids with "experiences," you need to read it. Take your pick, because it's at For Every Mom, Scary Mommy, and the Huffington Post as of this week!
—7—
Lastly, if you ask for a dessert menu at a restaurant and the waiter hands you this, you know you're in the right place:
Not just for breakfast anymore, you say? |
And the menu wasn't kidding. The desserts were about as large as my Mother's Day breakfast.
7 comments:
That was a great post you wrote about FOMO!!!! And I love "homemade" gift from my kids!
Your Mother's Day traditions are AWESOME! And I would have eaten every crumb and the plate full of strawberries in one sitting
Thanks this great article
Oh, Jenny!! What a happy Mother you were that day!!
Desserts are God's reward for having a tongue.
Ooo yum. I do love desserts, that's for sure.
Chocolate covered strawberries... Yum! I LOVE your tradition. This year we all had the stomach flu on mother's day. I need a redo!
The name Bloody Buddy, however, is very honest!
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