Friday, October 21, 2016

7 Quick Takes about Butchers Who Also Cut Hair, Ruining the Class Picture, and Cooking Biscuits with Wild Abandon

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?


My son's cub scout den had a visit from a veteran who came to tell them about his service in the Navy.

This guy spent a month or so on a submarine, and that was really exciting for my son to hear about. I know because they were asked to write thank-you cards afterward and this was the front of his:

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
KA-BLAM!!! I mean, thank you.

I can almost keep myself from laughing because I shouldn't really laugh, but then I see the stick figure sailing headfirst into the smokestack and totally lose it every time.


We haven't played Pictionary for years but we pulled it out one night this week. Having older kids who can play games other than Candyland is fun.

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

Even the 4-year-old joined in, and truthfully her drawings were better than mine. I've already mentioned the infamous pig-car story, so let's just say my right brain must be sort of busted.

For example, when I drew a hairdresser the kids guessed "butcher."

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
Drawn with my dominant hand, people. Let that sink in for a minute.

Close enough.


Speaking of having older kids, I'm absolutely loving it. I could do a 3-hour infomercial about how awesome it is having older kids.

When they're little and all you do is refill sippy cups and buckle five-point harnesses and wipe butts all day, you can't possibly fathom that one day in the future you'll be watching your 12-year-old making tacos for dinner completely on her own.

And let me tell you, hearing your 12-year-old not only cooking dinner for the whole family but teaching your 10-year-old how to chop an onion is pretty much the sweetest sound in all the land.


I went to the dentist for a cleaning and was informed that my gums are receding. Naturally, I was concerned because this sounds appalling.

My conversation with the dental hygienist went like this:

"Is it reversible?"


"So what should I be doing about it?"

"Well, you don't want brush too aggressively. But you also don't want to brush too soft or you'll be leaving plaque behind."


"But even then, it might continue. So it's just something to be aware of."

Oh good, because lying awake at night worrying about getting a skin graft in my mouth  is, like, one of my favorite things.


I opened my email to find a sign-up list for items needed for the upcoming Halloween party in my kid's class at school.

Volunteering is tricky because it means I have to put on real pants and find someone to watch two kids and a baby  but sending in items, I can do! I'm the best at sending in items! Bring on the spreadsheet.

I scanned down the list to see what I could donate.

Package of plastic spoons? Drat. Taken.

Napkins? Someone already signed up for that, too.

Bananas? It's open. I guess I could send bananas, although I'd have to make a special trip to the store and  waaaaait a minute: "Please make the bananas look like mummies"??

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

Now I think I know why 'bananas' is still open. It's all coming together now.


I've never once ordered or even thought about ordering school pictures, but my kids' school sends home a complementary print of their class picture every year, anyway.

My son handed me his class picture the other day and I removed it from the envelope, letting my eyes meander around to admire it. Everyone looked so dressed-up and nice. Some were wearing new clothes that looked like they were specially purchased just for that occasion. Lots of the girls had their hair done so prettily.

And then I noticed my son.

Since I never buy school photos I don't typically pay attention to when picture day even is, which is pretty obvious since my son was the one with bedhead and a neon T-shirt that says "MONSTER" in all caps.

Yes, I am that mom who ruins the class picture for everyone. Feel free to Photoshop away, Other Parents. It won't even hurt my feelings.


Phillip was on a trip for work earlier this week, so the kids and I did what we always do when he goes out of town: pig out on gluten.

Gluten, if you don't know, is the protein in wheat. Ever since we found out about 5 years ago that Phillip's chronic exhaustion and a whole lot of other things bothering him was a gluten problem, all of our dinners have been gluten-free.

We do this happily because it makes him feel better. But we really miss pizza.

(Yes, I know there's gluten-free pizza, but if you're even going to suggest that to me it means you haven't tried it because it's terrible.)

On the last day before he came home, we had the best biscuits and gravy imaginable. Made from scratch because we wanted to feel the flour running through our fingers. We were singing songs of praise and slinging handfuls of it across the room just for the joy of cooking with wheat.

Maybe I exaggerate. But my point is, if there were a way to extract only  the gluten and just serve a bucket of it for dinner and suck it all down with a straw when Phillip's out of town, we would 100% do that.

He's home now, though, so we'll try to reign ourselves in until his next trip.

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AnneMarie said...

Y'alls gluten party cracks me up. That's awesome. I think it's really funny (but very practical) to have special celebratory things that are only done when a certain person is away. With me, it's twofold: when my husband is away, I tend to watch musicals (because he hates musicals) and sometimes I eat Chinese food (he doesn't like Chinese food).

Oh goodness, those bananas sound intense! I'm just curious as to why it's important they look like mummies when within minutes of the party, the peels could be ripped off and thrown away. Unless, of course, they're banking on kids NOT eating the bananas, in which case they could be decorative. But there are lots of easier ways to get mummy decorations. Good luck figuring out what you're going to send to school!

Megan said...

Cracking up over the submarine explosion "thank you" ha ha ha!!

Queen Mom Jen said...

My husband is on a no carb diet, he has lost 25 pounds, but man oh man do I miss pizza. So the kids and I sneak out to eat it in order to not make him feel bad :)

Laura Rose said...

hahaha, I love that first picture! So great! actually the "butcher" picture is also hilarious. And I love that you "ruin" the class pictures. Let's be serious--picture day is taken WAY too seriously these days. And I can't WAIT to see those banana mummies. ;)

Anonymous said...

Actually there is a way to extract the gluten to use as a meat substitute. I saw it in a church "preparedness" manual I had given me about twenty years ago. I'll see if I can find it.
Lynne Nicholson

Anonymous said...
You can buy premade seitan in specialist shops for vegetarians and vegans
Lynne Nicholson

Unknown said...

Oh my gosh... picture day, I was cracking up. I was the mom on picture day running into walmart to grab a $3 collared shirt for my pre-k kid when we realized his no longer fit.

I really can't wait till I have older kids. Like, legit older kids. My 5 year old feels older, but that's just because with his three younger siblings and him, I've been wiping butts for many, many years.

Crystal Green from Sharing Life's Moments said...

I love your picture and their prediction of what it was you were trying to portray.
I have a soon to be 13 year old and I love the fact that he's more independent. I am eager to have my five year old reach that stage, but she seems to be very reluctant to jump on that bandwagon for me. (I think it's because I spoiled her too much since I knew she was going to be my last baby. Plus, she's my little girl.)
I can't imagine making bananas into mummies for a class. I can see why it's still available too.
I didn't buy kids photos from school either. I couldn't justify the cost especially when I have so many other amazing pictures of them "living life."

PurpleSlob said...

Too funny as always!

Marilyn said...

GAAA! Why are dentists always so dire?! I always come away from mine feeling like I'm a total dental failure...and I don't even have cavities!! They're always saying, "Have you considered braces?" and...guess what...NO! because I have seven kids and I'm going to be paying for THEIR braces the rest of my natural life, thanks! And they usually have a few comments about my gums as well. Grrr.

Also, I feel like you must be some sort of saint. A gluten-free saint. It would be SO hard to go without gluten wasn't even YOU that had to! But it's so nice! And so good! To do it for your husband's sake! This caused me to do some serious soul-searching whether I'd do the same for mine. I hope so?? But I can't say for sure. :(

Jenny@ Pressure Cookers HQ said...

Hi! I loved all your points. Pictionary is one of my favorite games, playing it my 9 y/o daughter is very funny always. Also loved the biscuits. Thanks for sharing.

Crystal said...

This post was comedy, I tell you. I loled a little too loud at most of it. Also, I love your little dots on the head of the butcher. I can tell you were stabbing the pencil on his head really hard to emphasize what the heck the drawing was! Also I related to most of this. Except luckily we're allowed to eat gluten around here.

Jenny Evans said...

Exactly! You do it out of love, really.

Jenny Evans said...

So that's what seitan is...

Jenny Evans said...

You're going to love it!

Jenny Evans said...

Well, it's been 5 years so we're used to it. I remember a particular night of Googling and wailing, "What am I going to cook???" Leading me to believe that my only problems are first-world ones.

Unknown said...

The problem with Pictionary is your trying to draw in a hurry so everything looks awful. I hate all plays and the timer!

My 11 year old son had been gluten free for almost 6 years but we've discovered (hopefully?) that the problem might be wheat not gluten. I've been using spelt to make bread and pizza crust for him and it's so much better than the (actually pretty decent) gf mix I've used for years. Is it possible your husband's problem is wheat rather than gluten?

Jenny Evans said...

We've actually wondered that, but when I suggest that maybe we can just make a big old batch of barley soup or something he always gets nervous in case it makes him feel like garbage again ! (For a day or two, anyway.) Sometime we'd like to test it out.