—1—
The other day I took my kids to the playground and saw the world's smartest mom on the baseball diamond across the park playing with her son, who looked like he was about 3.
She would wind up, pitch an invisible ball to him, and (surprise!) he would hit it every time (so no tantrums, unlike trying to play actual baseball with little kids.) Then she would cheer him on as he ran around all the bases for a home run.
I've been momming for a decade and have six kids, and watching this lady made me feel like a total amateur.
—2—
Phillip's work had a special family day at Six Flags, where we all got in with a sweet discount and got to cross a secret bridge to the corporate pavilion area for a catered lunch.
Okay, so the bridge wasn't very secret (but there were bouncers checking for our wristbands) and the lunch was just hot dogs and hamburgers, but we still had an awesome day.
I can't really believe that we took 6 kids to Six Flags including a newborn and a toddler and stayed all day, but between Phillip and me and my mom who was visiting us, somehow we made it work.
As we entered the park, I snapped a picture of this "Lost Parents" station because I thought it was funny.
Irony captured on film. |
Little did I know that I was actually going to end up here later in the day to collect a rogue child myself. Hardy har har.
—3—
The day of Six Flags, I came down with an ear infection. I was slightly concerned about the motion of the rides causing my ear drum to explode, but thankfully everything went okay.
But seriously, who gets an ear infection after they turn 5? I haven't had an ear infection in 30 years!
—4—
Lately I've been thinking that I'm not grossed out by a lot of things like I used to be, and then we went to the beach and practically had to hold in my vomit when the kids started making "wigs" out of the seaweed.
Then we were digging in the garden and exposed this enormous beetle the size of a grape tomato in the dirt, laying on his back with his creepy little legs flailing around in the air and I almost lost my lunch again.
The kids were like, "Aww, poor thing! Let's gingerly help it flip back over with this garden spade" and I was busy screaming in my head, "KILL IT AND NEVER RETURN TO THIS AREA AGAIN!!"
So I guess I don't have nerves of steel like I thought I did.
—5—
I was plenty amused when I came across this doll:
She's made so that her thumbs fit into her mouth, but somebody figured out that her toes do, too. I wonder if she was designed that way on purpose? Or was it just a happy accident?
—6—
Finally, finally, FINALLY, the stepping stones are done. They are 100% finished and resting in our garden. I have no idea what my family is going to do now that they can't give me a hard time about the project that never ends.
I realize that the actual garden around the stones needs a lot of work. Baby steps, people. |
They've been sitting in different locations in the house in varying states of done-ness for 3 years.
Three. Years.
In all fairness, I had to follow a boatload of steps: mix cement and pour each of the 7 stones (I was using the same bucket so that in itself took a while,) scrounge up some random porcelain, smash it with a hammer, divide the pieces by color, have each family member make a mosaic design, mix some mortar, affix the design to the stone, spread grout on the tiles, and then seal the grout.
Warning: do not think "Oh, that's cute" and start making your own. You will rue the day.
—7—
But when I get one monkey off my back then I just pile another one (or two or ten) back on, so behold my newest ill-fated project:
Too bright, but it catches your eye, no? |
I want to paint the front door red and I figured if I slapped a paint sample up there I'd have to follow it through.
Of course, that's the same logic that got me into the stepping stone debacle, so it's quite possible that it'll still look like this in 2019.
As I was typing this I had a great idea for a reality show. What if a team went to someone's house and just finished ALL their unfinished projects? If anyone from TLC is reading this, I'd be happy to star in the pilot episode and you could even use my title idea, Address My Mess. What do you think?
19 comments:
Congratulations on finishing the stepping stone project! Those look awesome, but oh golly, they sound like so much work! I LOVE your title and idea for a TLC show. Seriously, who doesn't have a million unfinished projects lying around???
I would totally watch that show!!! Great name, too!
I'd watch that. Possibly whilst attempting to finish some of my own long-term projects...
We painted our door red and love it (aka my husband did it one day and it looks great--I'd be like you and never follow through).
Six Flags sounds like a nice perk! Glad you all enjoyed the day.
I'd love to be featured on Address My Mess! I think we took the trim off of the bathrooom door and window circa 2001. Maybe earlier.
Question about the doll - What's coming out of her head? She looks like a tissue dispenser.
I laughed out loud at the door quick take, because I relate so much! That red looks really great though - you have my vote!
I think it's a little too bright for me, so I went back yesterday to get a slightly darker red sample. Now it's too hot to go out and paint anything, so I'm procrastinating.
I think it used to be a cute flower, but the kids sucked on it until it was permanently deformed. All our baby dolls are looking pretty haggard!
A sport at which I can succeed! Hooray! :)
Oh wow, oh wow! All day with a newborn AND a toddler?? Y'all are the man! men? Women?? anyway, y'all are IT!!
Umm, doesn't new baby need a stepping stone now?? Please don't stone me!
Yeah- red!! and white is good too....
I started those blasted stones before the baby was even a twinkle in my eye. THAT'S how long they've been sitting there! Sorry baby, but I quit the stepping stone business. You're on your own.
I want that TLC show! I have given my husband strict orders that if he ever meets one of those take you home hosts at a home improvement store he MUST take them home or there will be consequences!
Well, the stepping stones did turn out cute. And maybe the door won't take quite so long? I mean, it's not a thing you can use the excuse "oh I forgot about that" for. You see it every time you go in or out of the door.
And I used to play pretend baseball with my uncle. I thought I was the coolest because I could hit an invisible ball. I mean some people can't even hit a ball they can see, so I must be pretty good.
If the ball had been pretend, my illustrious Tee-ball career might not have been so short-lived. That would've solved a lot of problems.
That's what I'm thinking about the door. Maybe six months, tops.
Address My Mess. Love it!
Lost Parents. Ha!
We need to go to Six Flags at some point. We have one about 25 minutes from the house.
My best friend's dad is getting older, but still loves to play with his grandkids. One of his favorites is imaginary hide and go seek. The kids all imagine a place they're hiding and grandpa has to guess where they are. Genius!
Mind blown. I feel so inadequate right now.
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