7 Quick Takes about Dubious Moral Codes, Things Babies Don't Like, and Outside-the-Box Thinking for Mother's Day

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! Where I give to you in random order 7 funny things that happened to us this week. How did the last 7 days go for you?

—1—

We survived our first week home with a new baby. In some ways, I've felt like we're doing pretty well. I've slept for more hours than I have fingers and I even cleaned junk out of my kids' craft cabinet.

But to keep me humble, there have also been several moments where I realized we did not have it all together. Such as:

• Not even realizing until someone pointed it out that we were sitting down to dinner with a trash can as a centerpiece on top of the table.
• Discovering I'd gone through an entire doctor's appointment with a giant dump truck sticker on the butt of my jeans (thanks, 2-year-old, I know it was you.)
• Noticing there's a random can of tuna underneath my kid's car seat and I have no idea how it got there or long it's been there.

—2—

I recently learned that I have license to do a lot more than I think I do. 

I was snacking on some chips, to which my 4-year-old was voraciously helping herself, and I told her she'd had enough. Of course I kept eating them (come on, I know you do it, too) and after observing me for a while she said, "But you can keep eating, because you're a mom and moms can do anything except kill people."

I still need to think about all the implications of this.

—3—

After hearing a heart murmur, my newborn's pediatrician sent us to a cardiologist to get it checked out. (He's fine, it's a tiny hole that will never cause him difficulties and will most likely close up on its own.)

To get an ultrasound of his chest, they rolled in this ancient-looking machine. I mean ancient.

It had space to insert your floppy disk, people.

Needless to say, my son did not enjoy being unwrapped and stripped down to his diaper for the procedure. The tech kept trying to think of ways to keep him happier so she could continue with the ultrasound, asking "Does he want to eat? What does he want to do?"

Well, what he wants to do is: not this. He's a newborn; his interests are nursing and pooping. If it doesn't involve those activities, it's safe to assume he doesn't want to do it.

We weren't able to finish the complete ultrasound, but they got enough that they have a handle on what's going on. We go back in a year for another ultrasound... wait, are we really expecting it to go any better with a wiggly one-year-old?

—4—

How was your Mother's Day? Mine was the standard breakfast in bed and homemade cards from the kids, which is just how I like it.

The older ones usually make some sort of project at school directed by their teacher, but my 4-year-old was left totally to her own devices. So I got a UFO for Mother's Day:

This is what a self-guided preschool art project looks like.

—5—

A while ago, I polled readers on the blog's Facebook page to see if getting a faceful of urine while changing a boy's diaper is a thing that actually happens in real life, or just in the movies. You see, I've been doing boy diapers for years and I've never been peed on.

I guess I got cocky.

While changing the baby's diaper I (regrettably) waited to put the new one on until I'd thrown the old one away, and in that instant he peed all over the bed. Really. It arced 3 feet up in the air and went everywhere.

It ended up being a lot a laundry for 3 seconds' worth of poor decision-making.

—6—

I was surprised to see this up there since I didn't know it had been accepted, but I was featured on Mamalode again this week for "Your First Pregnancy Versus Your Last Pregnancy."


You know how things are all shiny and new during your first pregnancy, and then it loses its luster somewhere around your three millionth prenatal appointment? Go visit, read, and comment. Which ones can you relate to?

—7—

My second grader is riding the bus across town next week to practice for an end-of-the-year concert at another school, probably a 5-minute ride, tops, and brought home a permission slip asking me to:

"...forever release, acquit, discharge, and covenant to hold harmless the school and the town from any and all actions, causes of action, and claims on account of, or in any way growing out of, directly or indirectly, all known and unknown personal injuries or property damage which [name of student] and/or I may now or hereafter have as the parent of said minor and also claims or right of action for damages which said minor has or hereafter may acquire, before or after he/she has reached his/her majority resulting from his/her participation in the aforementioned activity."

I read it out loud and my 12-year-old wanted to know why it didn't just say "It's not the school's fault if your kid gets hurt." I was wondering the same thing.

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