Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Things Moms Do in the Bathroom

Everyone knows that moms multitask better than anybody else on the planet. Who else can simultaneously call the pediatrician, sign a permission slip, check her email, and tell the kids to stop throwing that ball in the house right now before someone breaks a window?

It turns out that our multitasking goes beyond simple tasks involving the computer or our phones. Its reach even extends into the bathroom.

Through the bathroom door (or, who am I kidding, sometimes with the door wide open) I've spent plenty of time talking someone through the process for opening Minecraft on the computer, yelling helpful suggestions to my daughter practicing piano, and lamely trying to referee fights in the other room when I honestly have zero idea what's going on. **

Other things I might or might not have done while using the bathroom:
  1. Put shoes and a party dress on an American Girl doll
  2. Changed the batteries in a remote control car
  3. Fixed someone's pigtails that were coming loose
  4. Sang "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" with all the actions
  5. Corrected someone's schoolwork
  6. Talked a preschooler down from the ledge whose sock seams were crooked
  7. Written out a check to the PTA
  8. Pretended I was sending an important email when I was really just browsing around on Pinterest
  9. Kissed a boo-boo
  10. Carried on an extensive conversation on why it's important to give people privacy in the restroom (the other party in the conversation remained unconvinced)
  11. Held a 6-month-old on my lap because all he wants to do is suck on the plastic covers over the screws on the bottom of the toilet

And if, by chance, I try to use the bathroom uninterrupted with the door shut, this just happens:

Things Moms Do In the Bathroom -- Moms are natural multitaskers. Even in the bathroom.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

**For the record, mothers don't actually care what's fair. They just want everybody to stop screaming.

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Unremarkable Files


jeremy@thirstydaddy said...

Funny post. As my daughter gets older the bathroom has taken on another function: daddy's hiding place

Rebekah @ Naturally Blessed Mama said...

I love number 10! Visiting from Shine Blog Hop. Great post!

Unknown said...

Ha! You always make me laugh. Yes, they will always find you but the bathroom is a great place to escape to.

I love the picture at the end - lol.

Thanks for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).

Wishing you a lovely day.

Julie - Happy, Frugal Mama said...

LOL!!!! Love this. Not so much me doing something by my 3yr old, when she was 2, once barged in, put her step stool a few feet in front of me, climbed on it, and started singing to me. True story.

(visiting from the Shine blog hop)

Queen Mom Jen said...

No way on #5!! I have done it all, but that... Too funny :)

Unknown said...

That picture sums it all up! And I can't believe my daughter has a kindred plastic screw cover sucking spirit. My sixth child is the only one that has done that in our family. So gross.

Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love) said...

Lol, that bottom picture sums it up so well! Multitasking whilst in the bathroom is definitely part of the joys of parenthood! :-)

Jenny said...

Pinterest. Yes.

Jenny Evans said...

It makes my skin crawl, no matter how recently I've cleaned the bathroom. (Though honestly, it usually isn't all that recent.)

Jenny Evans said...

We talk a lot about "privacy" and my 2-year-old once flung open the door, smiled a big smile and announced, "I not give you pie-vacy."

Jenny Evans said...

Still have not figured out how to make my point clear on that one.

mothers shadow said...

Very cute! I can sure relate - well could with the kiddos back in the day. Fun post. Carrie, A Mother's Shadow

elle jo said...

I feel you on the sitting on the toilet with a child, well mine is 16 months old, but I've done that as well because our child is in love with toilet paper, and that's the only way I can get her to not steal it and for me to use it. But of course, that's what it's like with toddlers.

liz @ sundays with sophie

Anonymous said...

The bathroom is my sanctuary. The one place I can close the door and be alone. Great post, especially that photo of the hand under the door. Ha!

Anonymous said...

So funny and so true! I think I've definitely done at least half of these. Thanks God for locks on bathroom doors, especially if you only have one.

Tiffany {A Touch of Grace} said...

Oh this is so good. Sometimes I think "How did I get here" when I'm doing some random thing while in the bathroom.
Thanks for sharing on the Shine Blog Hop!

Aspen jay said...

We mothers do like to multitask! :) That last comment pretty much sums it up for me lately... doesn't care what's fair, just so that everybody stops screaming!

Stacey said...

And when dad is home... pretend we have to be in there for awhile to finally get to read a book, play on Pinterest, etc.

Francesca said...

Hilarious and so true! Glad I'm not alone. And ditto Stacey's comment, lol. Shared this on my blog's Facebook page. :)

Unknown said...

Haha! I love it; especially the asterisk at the bottom. Ain't that the truth?! For the love of Pete, give me peace and quiet! But really, I do love my family ... :) Great read!