Friday, September 22, 2017

7 Quick Takes about Changing Table Surprises, Awkward Phone Calls to the Dentist, and More Complaining about Pants

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

1


When I stopped in the grocery store restroom to change a diaper, I was confronted by an interesting sight:

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
Surprise!

Tucked in the little built-in pockets on the changing table were a sanitary pad (on the right) and a sock (on the left.)

I'm used to walking into a room and seeing a line of baby dolls tied to the dresser drawer handles with a jump rope, or some other equally elaborate and bizarre toy set up, and asking myself What possible play activity could have led to this arrangement? But that's something I do in my own home, not out in public.

Seriously though, what scenario led to these items being left in the changing table? The free maxi pad could just be a random act of kindness from a Good Samaritan, but I'm at a loss for how that would explain the sock.

2


Lately, I've been working on putting the house back together. I'd let cleaning go and things were getting really bad. Even the kids had started inquiring about the crumbs sticking to their feet when they walked.

It's just hard not to get burned out when you clean the same thing over and over, not just for a few days or weeks but for years.

And if I'm honest, the real demotivating factor is this: the difference between staying on top of the housework or totally letting it go is NOT clean vs. dirty. When you have kids, it's just always dirty. Maybe it's slightly less filthy if you spend consistent effort cleaning up, but unless you lock the doors and refuse to let any of the kids live or eat in the house, there's just a base level of squalor that no amount of cleaning can get beyond.

If you spent all day digging holes and someone was right behind you filling in the hole as you were digging, you'd probably quit sometimes, too.

3


My 6th grader came home from school and announced she'd lost a tooth. Which is normally no big deal, but this time I immediately flew into hysterics because the dentist told us she already had all of her adult teeth.

My heart was pounding in my chest as I fired question after question at her: "What happened? How did it fall out? Did you get hit with something? Where were you? Does it hurt? What do you mean, it fell out??" I was talking so fast the poor girl couldn't answer, even if it weren't for the flashlight I was shoving in her mouth to look at the gaping hole.

"Where is your tooth now?" I asked. "Maybe they can reattach it."

"I... I put it in the trash. I thought it was a baby tooth!"

"You did WHAT?" I yelled. "From now on if a part of your body ever comes off, do not throw it away!!!"

After I'd thoroughly traumatized her, I made a frantic call to the dentist.

Aaaand it turns out there must have been some kind of miscommunication, because her chart clearly showed she'd gotten all her adult teeth except for one: the baby tooth that had just fallen out at school.

Meaning that I'd just spent 30 minutes freaking out over a lost baby tooth. I half expected the Tooth Fairy to compensate ME that night for pain and suffering.

4


It's been really humid around here practically all this week. The keys on our piano are sticking. The salt is too clumpy to come out of the salt shaker. Pieces of paper feel limp and heavy from all the water in the air.

I tend to associate heat with humidity but the weather lately has also been chilly, so I'm really confused. I don't know whether to put on a cardigan because I have goosebumps or go stand naked in front of the A/C unit because I feel sweaty.

I'm trying to find middle ground by turning on the ceiling fans and pacing around in fuzzy slippers muttering to myself.


5


My closet is in dire straits and I need to go pants shopping. I've just been hoping I could keep putting it off until after skinny jeans aren't trendy anymore, because I don't own a Jaws of Life and I don't think I could extract myself from a pair of those things without one.

But then the whole waist-up-to-your-armpits thing started happening too, so I decided to suck it up and go to the mall before they think of another hideous feature to add.

Ugh. I just can't.

I tried on so many pairs of pants, and I didn't like any of them. I didn't even not hate any of them. I don't want jeans so painted on that everyone in the school dropoff line can read the tag on my underwear. I don't want the zipper of my shorts to be 8 times longer than my inseam. I MISS THE '90s.

I'm one step away from giving up entirely and ordering a lifetime supply of sweatpants from the coupon inserts in the Sunday paper.

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
The answer to all my problems was right in front of me the whole time.

Free shipping! Won't pill or shrink! Comfortable and cost-effective! I really see no downside to this. Plus, they'll go nicely with the fuzzy slippers and the muttering.

6


There's a town-led playgroup near me that I've wanted to try out for a long time, and this week I finally took my 1-year-old and 3-year-old to check it out.

After the kids were comfortable (i.e: they stopped clinging to me like feral cats I was trying to drown) and started playing with the toys, I started talking to a mom next to me.

She seemed cool from the beginning, but when I asked which kids were hers and she pointed to the boy running around the dress-up area in a tutu and a construction hardhat, I knew that this was a person I wanted to keep talking to.

7


I think it's just a coincidence, but everything around here is breaking at the same time. It's weird.

First it was our computer keyboard and then our mouse. (To be fair, they've both been through a lot. The mouse has been thrown on the floor too many times to count, and I once caught my 2-year-old walking on the keyboard.)

Immediately after that, we needed to throw away and replace a mattress (hint: the reason starts with 'p' and ends with 'ee') and then my curling iron (which I keep mostly for decorative purposes) stopped turning on.

You're lucky I made it all the way to the end of this Quick Takes without the computer exploding, frankly.

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14 comments:

  1. You are hilarious! Perhaps the changing table is like a take a penny leave a penny thing. If you needed the sock, you could take it, and leave something from the bottom of your diaper bag.

    My five year old lost a tooth during Hurricane Harvey. While my husband and I were up all night watching the water rise towards our house, we neglected to put the quarter in the tooth pillow. She's a smart girl - she decided it was too windy for the Tooth Fairy to get to her.

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    1. I like your idea about the changing table. I had started thinking maybe it was like the Room of Requirement.

      I love when your kids think of your excuses for you. You're like, "Oh, yeah. Too windy. That's totally why the tooth fairy didn't come. You guessed it!" Hope you stayed relatively dry.

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  2. I found a pair of boot cut jeans on clearance at jcpenney. Snatched those right up. The 18 year old at the register couldn't figure out why I was so excited.

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    1. She was probably thinking, "Ew. MOM JEANS." I'm going to try again this weekend, I guess. Here's hoping I find something!

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  3. I am laughing too hard to write much more than...Sunday insert pants. HILARIOUS!

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  4. I'm cracking up over the sock. I've seen some strange things in those changing tables too. It reminds me of when you're driving down the road and see a random shoe in the middle of the street. I can never think of a logical way to explain that!

    Hahaha those pants might be the answer to all my problems, too!

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  5. Oh my about the tooth story! I'd have done the same!

    It's been humid here. But I'm in Texas so that's usually how it goes :/

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  6. Gaaa. The cleaning thing. YES! I love cleaning when it makes a difference and everything looks all lovely and sparkling when you're done. But with 8 kids, those conditions never exist.

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  7. What a hilarious way to start my SAt morning! Thanks, Jenny!! I'm all oxygenated up now from the laughing!!

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  8. If you buy those pants I will laugh my head off. My 90 year old mother-in-law wears them and the rear end sags something wicked! Believe me, you do not want those pants!!!

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  9. Go to Maurice's. They have all different lengths and the boot cut jean is still alive and well. It's a little pricey. But once you know your size and length, you can get them on eBay at a fairly reasonable price.
    You totally nailed the description of cleaning with kids!
    Hope things slow down for you a bit soon.

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    1. I have not been to Maurice's since I was a teenager. I'm going there for sure, if for no other reason than nostalgic purposes!

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  10. Jeans are hard to find. I tend to overestimate sizes so I often end up with jeans that won't stay up unless they're freshly washed. Actually, my best-fitting 2 pairs of jeans are hand-me-downs from sisters who grew out of them. And they're from Old Navy, so I keep that store in mind that they probably have decent jeans, I just don't know how to pick them out. When I was a kid I always wanted to grow up and have real Levis jeans like my Dad. I actually do have a pair now, I can't remember how they came into my possession, but those things are built to LAST. They're dark wash and straight cut and glorious, but don't currently fit. ;)

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    1. Don't even get me started on size. If I do find a style that I like, which is rare enough, then trying to find ones that are right in the waist AND the length never happens.

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