While I was brainstorming for this post, I told Phillip, "I'm writing a blog post about things I've never done. Can you think of any?"
Amazingly quickly, he started rattling off suggestions: "Left a restaurant without paying. Purposely ran a red light. Snuck into a movie. Lied to a customs officer.... Wow, we are so boring. We just haven't lived, Jenny."
Well, the red light thing is a lie for me so at least one of us has lived.
Never Have I Ever...
...tasted coffee. "But you're Mormon!" you say, "and Mormons don't drink coffee, so that's cheating!" True. But I wasn't always Mormon, and even before my conversion I never consumed so much as a drop. I always thought coffee smelled like burnt driftwood. Yuck.
...had an earring ripped out. This would hardly be noteworthy except that between 6 kids, I've spent a cumulative total of A DOZEN years with a baby or toddler on my hip, within arm's reach of my earrings. I've had some close calls, but so far both earlobes are still in tact.
...dealt with lice. Also impressive because of the 6 kids. If we ever did have a child come home from school or church with lice, my natural reaction would be to shave everyone's head and burn the house down. From what I hear, this would be roughly the same amount of work as all the washing and combing and bagging and vacuuming you have to do to get rid of lice the traditional way.
...owned a pair of skinny jeans. See this post for why.
...entered an eating contest. However, I once watched my daughter compete in a Fear Factor-type race to eat an entire can of uncooked Spam when she was 9. And she won. And there were adults in the contest.
...seen an episode of Breaking Bad, Orange Is The New Black, The Walking Dead, or Game of Thrones. Or basically any other TV show you can't go 5 minutes without hearing about. This isn't out of principle, though, it's really just because we don't have a TV. It would probably be easier to tell you the shows I've seen than the ones I haven't.
...gotten in a car accident.* I have, however, opened my door into a post, clipped the garage door with the roof of the car, sideswiped the house while pulling into the garage, and backed into a parked car in a parking lot because I was distracted by a temper tantrum over a plastic dinosaur that cost 5 cents. (*with another moving vehicle.)
...done yoga. But this tweet pretty much sums it up.
I've never been to a yoga class, but I've taken 30 minutes to exit a baby's room in slow motion… so I think I've done all the positions.— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) November 19, 2014
...had my eyebrows threaded. Every so often I pass a hair salon in the mall with a sign outside advertising "eyebrow threading." I have no idea what that even means but it sounds terrifying. I don't have to worry about that, though, because I get my hair cut at the kind of place where you don't need an appointment and you pay extra if you want a shampoo first.
Now that I've unloaded some of my "nevers," what about you? Can you say all of these about yourself? What have you never done?