The other day I took my kids to the playground and saw the world's smartest mom on the baseball diamond across the park playing with her son, who looked like he was about 3.
She would wind up, pitch an invisible ball to him, and (surprise!) he would hit it every time (so no tantrums, unlike trying to play actual baseball with little kids.) Then she would cheer him on as he ran around all the bases for a home run.
I've been momming for a decade and have six kids, and watching this lady made me feel like a total amateur.
Phillip's work had a special family day at Six Flags, where we all got in with a sweet discount and got to cross a secret bridge to the corporate pavilion area for a catered lunch.
Okay, so the bridge wasn't very secret (but there were bouncers checking for our wristbands) and the lunch was just hot dogs and hamburgers, but we still had an awesome day.
I can't really believe that we took 6 kids to Six Flags including a newborn and a toddler and stayed all day, but between Phillip and me and my mom who was visiting us, somehow we made it work.
As we entered the park, I snapped a picture of this "Lost Parents" station because I thought it was funny.
|Irony captured on film.|
Little did I know that I was actually going to end up here later in the day to collect a rogue child myself. Hardy har har.
The day of Six Flags, I came down with an ear infection. I was slightly concerned about the motion of the rides causing my ear drum to explode, but thankfully everything went okay.
But seriously, who gets an ear infection after they turn 5? I haven't had an ear infection in 30 years!
Lately I've been thinking that I'm not grossed out by a lot of things like I used to be, and then we went to the beach and practically had to hold in my vomit when the kids started making "wigs" out of the seaweed.
Then we were digging in the garden and exposed this enormous beetle the size of a grape tomato in the dirt, laying on his back with his creepy little legs flailing around in the air and I almost lost my lunch again.
The kids were like, "Aww, poor thing! Let's gingerly help it flip back over with this garden spade" and I was busy screaming in my head, "KILL IT AND NEVER RETURN TO THIS AREA AGAIN!!"
So I guess I don't have nerves of steel like I thought I did.
I was plenty amused when I came across this doll:
She's made so that her thumbs fit into her mouth, but somebody figured out that her toes do, too. I wonder if she was designed that way on purpose? Or was it just a happy accident?
Finally, finally, FINALLY, the stepping stones are done. They are 100% finished and resting in our garden. I have no idea what my family is going to do now that they can't give me a hard time about the project that never ends.
|I realize that the actual garden around the stones needs a lot of work. Baby steps, people.|
They've been sitting in different locations in the house in varying states of done-ness for 3 years.
In all fairness, I had to follow a boatload of steps: mix cement and pour each of the 7 stones (I was using the same bucket so that in itself took a while,) scrounge up some random porcelain, smash it with a hammer, divide the pieces by color, have each family member make a mosaic design, mix some mortar, affix the design to the stone, spread grout on the tiles, and then seal the grout.
Warning: do not think "Oh, that's cute" and start making your own. You will rue the day.
But when I get one monkey off my back then I just pile another one (or two or ten) back on, so behold my newest ill-fated project:
|Too bright, but it catches your eye, no?|
I want to paint the front door red and I figured if I slapped a paint sample up there I'd have to follow it through.
Of course, that's the same logic that got me into the stepping stone debacle, so it's quite possible that it'll still look like this in 2019.
As I was typing this I had a great idea for a reality show. What if a team went to someone's house and just finished ALL their unfinished projects? If anyone from TLC is reading this, I'd be happy to star in the pilot episode and you could even use my title idea, Address My Mess. What do you think?