7 Quick Takes about New Budgeting Categories, Not Being Like the Other Girls, and Fun Things That Happen in Your Forties

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week? 

—1—

My 21-year-old has pretty significant ADHD, but looking at the organized budget spreadsheet she uses, you'd never know it. During her freshman year of college, my husband and I helped her add up how much she needs to earn over the summer to cover school costs and put it in a basic Excel sheet, but since then she's really upgraded it on her own and was showing me some of her improvements.

For one thing, she made it so that when she adds new paychecks, it automatically tells her in percentage form how close she is to her goal amount, and the columns automatically go green or red depending on their status.

She's also added a variety of new columns to cover unexpected income (like scholarships) or unexpected expenses (like a column labeled 'ADHD Tax.')

"What's that column for?" I asked her.

"Oh, that's my stupidity allowance for the year," she said. "You know, like late fees and lost item fees."

That's one of the most brilliant ADHD management tricks I've ever heard.

—2—

I was having a conversation with my 21- and 19-year-old daughters about different girl stereotypes in media after watching a movie together. Specifically, we were discussing the "not like the other girls" trope (you know, the female character who eschews traditionally feminine interests, making her superior to the rest of her vapid gender who likes stupid things).

They were explaining to me the various subtypes of "not like the other girls," like the "pick me girl" and the "manic pixie dreamgirl."

Later in the day, I was on the road and the car next to me had a pink bumper sticker that said "I'm not like the other girls... I'm worse" with a rabid possum on it. I had a good laugh and texted my girls about it after I got to my destination. One of them texted back: "That's another subcategory."

—3—

School has now started for my youngest four kids. On the first day, one was sick, two forgot their lunches, and Phillip got flipped off in the middle school dropoff line.

So I'd say this year is off to an amazing start.

—4—

Our oldest daughter went back to college. Her last day here was particularly emotional and logistically complicated, as we were simultaneously getting through the first week of school for the youngers, helping the college daughter pack up and leave, and also prepping for a family camping trip with what was left of the family (minus the 19-year-old, who'd already made plans to go visit a friend for the weekend.) 

In fact, my husband literally dropped the 21-year-old off at the airport on the way to the campground with four of the other kids. The plan was for me to come up later with the 13-year-old after she finished cross-country practice, but by that time I'd really and truly hit the wall of  Things I Can Handle so I dropped her off at the campground and came home for the night by myself to decompress. 

—5—

My hope is to go re-join them at the campground later today, when hopefully I can be happier and a little more fun to be around. Recently, I have not been very fun to be around. I've actually been watching myself with curiosity and noticing changes to my personality that I don't really like (and I'm sure no one else does, either.) 

Small annoyances send me over the edge almost instantly, and I've been snapping at Phillip or having uncharacteristic temper tantrums over being late or other small inconveniences. I have trouble controlling my irritation and letting things go without comment, which is usually unnecessary and sometimes embarrassing, but I can't help it. 

I feel like I'm okay just plodding along doing my own thing with my head down, but I will snap the instant something goes wrong or someone needs something from me. Am I physically tired? Yes, but no more than usual. Am I overwhelmed? Yes, but again no more than usual. It just feels different and I don't know why.

—6—

I was recently Googling my intense irritability, trying to figure out what's going on with me at age 43 (am I having a midlife crisis? do I need therapy? should I abandon society to go live alone like the swamp hag I'm becoming?) and then the word 'perimenopause' popped out at me. Since I'm not experiencing the hot flashes and night sweats of perimenopause yet, I didn't even connect the dots, but suddenly I had this aha moment. 

Perimenopause symptoms include shorter cycles (check, for the last year) and also heavier periods (ugh, this week I declined a short hike with my family it was too far from a bathroom) and it's all starting to make sense now. 

So I'm basically going through second puberty, and it turns out I forgot what it feels like when your hormones make you hate everything and everyone around you. 

—7—

Of course I will still try to laugh about this stage of life. Someone who's great about doing that is the Holderness Family, who I really appreciate for it:

And I love the Merlin app.

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