—1—
At church last Friday night, there was a Valentine's Day weekend dinner-and-a-show for the adults, and I was asked to "write something funny" for the 90s-themed variety show.
Now, most people don't know this since I am a humor blogger, but I only like to be funny from behind the safety of my keyboard. Being on stage doing anything might actually be my least-favorite thing in the world, and I say that as someone who just cleaned up a barf-saturated rug before sitting down to write this.
I included a slideshow of fun pictures from the 90s (probably so people would be looking at that instead of me) and it actually was fun to write, but I'm glad it's over because performing in front of people is the kind of thing that makes me uncomfortable for a few days, both beforehand and afterward.
However, some people seemed to actually enjoy performing in front of people for some reason, and I thoroughly loved watching their acts.
—2—
My mom is here visiting for the week and on Monday we took the kids to a presidential history museum not too far from us.
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| Big flag hanging in the lobby. |
Because it was Presidents' Day, they had some family-friendly events and kids got in free, which was the exact right price of admission for how engaged an elementary-schooler is in reading informational plaques about some dead guy he'd never heard of until 30 seconds ago.
—3—
The next day my mom and I took the kids to open skate at a local rink. I grew up in the Midwest and used to ice skate all the time, but somehow I've failed to ever take my own kids skating.
I guess I just kind of forgot about it: my skates were in a closet at my mom's house 1,000 miles away, and I don't think Phillip even knows how to ice skate, so our go-to family thing became hiking when the kids were little and we just never did it.
After a few tears from frustrated children and one direct head collision with the ice that was definitely a mild concussion, we all managed to have fun. Even the child who hit his head (he's doing fine but needed a nap for the next few days to recover.)
I did see kids on the ice wearing bike helmets, which I'd never thought of having grown up before safety was a thing. Seems like a good idea for my beginning learners if we decide to try skating a second time.
—4—
Leaving the kids with my mom, I stepped out to get a birthday card for someone. I was gone for less than 15 minutes, and in that time my 7-year-old threw up.
I apologized to my mom when I got back and asked "Did he at least make it to the bathroom?"
"Well.. he was on the carpet, and he caught it in his hands, then moved off the carpet and dropped it on the hardwood floor. So it could have been worse."
My son seemed to feel fine afterward (as people often do after throwing up), so I popped out again to deliver the card. I was on my way home when my daughter called to report that he'd thrown up again. She spared me the graphic details but told me that it was "a lot," that he was in the shower, and that my mom was mopping it up.
For the rest of the day, she eagerly volunteered to run any necessary errands in my place, although I can't figure out why.
—5—
Phillip's work switched insurance providers, so we have to find a new dentist. I hate picking a new dentist. How do you evaluate the quality of a dental care provider when you know nothing about dental care, but you also don't want someone who rips you off by recommending work you don't actually need?
Anyway, our new insurance is making it even harder. The nearby dentists in our new network are not plentiful, and the ones I've checked out so far look SKETCHY.
If I click 'find a provider' on our insurance's website and filter by distance from our house, the first provider has a Yahoo email address for their office. Yahoo.
The second provider has an unfinished website. Literally, the front page of their professional presence on the Internet is an unfinished template that says "write something about your office here for your clients to read."
A few weeks ago, I decided to make an appointment at the third provider on the list for my 7-year-old, and while there I didn't have negative feedback about the dentist per se, the "office" was in a building so old and dilapidated it should be condemned. I was worried the ceiling was going to collapse on us while we were in there.
I'm coming to the conclusion that Delta Dental is the Temu of insurance providers.
—6—
Luckily, we have enough children that I can use them to "shop around" until we find a dentist I trust. This week my 17-year-old had an appointment at a different office where everything seemed okay, until the dentist called me in after her cleaning and said, "She has cavities in her molars."
My 17-year-old has never had a cavity before, and six months ago at her last cleaning our old office hadn't seen anything of concern, so I was a little surprised. "Which ones?" I asked.
"All of them."
"Excuse me?" I said, wondering to myself How could she have four cavities?
Well, remember how I told you I don't know anything about dental care? I learned that people don't actually have four molars when the dentist nodded and said, "All eight."
Eight?!? I politely made an appointment for my daughter's next cleaning on our way out that I fully intend to cancel and find a dentist who I can trust farther than I can throw.
Next month I'm due for a cleaning, so I made an appointment for myself at Office #5 on our insurance's list... wish me luck. The way this is going, we may end up back at the condemned building. And it will be the best option.
—7—
The script was also written by Adam Sandler, which is extremely obvious if you listen to this song from Leo being all familiar with Sandler's work in the 90s:
When my kids are bickering, I sometimes interrupt them by singing, "Let's all fight about dumb stuff" to the tune of the song "We are looking for Blue's Clues..." Needless to say, this song might just make its way into my repertoire when I've got a melodramatic pouting child on my hands and I need to make him/her laugh.
1 comment:
I had a similar dentist experience when we moved to a new town. My 6 year old son had seen a dentist every 6 months of his life and had no cavities. But we went to a new dentist when we moved and he said he had 7 cavities! I just trusted him because I didn't have enough life experience yet and made FOUR appointments to get the cavities filled (they said 4 were necessary). I got more skeptical when the dentist said he was able to "buff out" some of the cavities. We never went back to that dentist after that and I luckily found a great one who only fills real cavities.
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