Friday, October 4, 2019

7 Quick Takes about Explaining What an Encyclopedia Is, Latin Translations, and Spooky Halloween Characters as Misheard by a 5-Year-Old

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?


I'm enjoying my new calling as a leader of the Young Women of our ward, even though it requires a lot more work, organization, and planning.

With my previous calling in the church nursery, literally my only responsibility was making sure we had raisins, and I'm not going to lie: that was nice. But I do love the teenagers I'm working with now.

Two men were called as the new nursery leaders, and I laughed when my husband brought me the 3-year-old after nursery on Sunday and told me, "This is how men do nursery."

He spun my son around to show me a giant label affixed to his back that said his name and "NO NUTS" (he has a nut allergy.)

Which just goes to show you, moms and dads do things differently.


My kids were talking about a school project they were doing, and I mentioned I did something similar when I was a kid.

"Did you have to email all your drafts to the teacher, too?"

I laughed in anticipation of blowing their tiny minds and said, "When I was your age, there was no Internet."

"What??" they chorused. "How did you do homework?"

"We went to the library," I shrugged. "And my parents had a set of encyclopedias at home."

Total blank stares.

"You know, like... printed-out books of Wikipedia entries."

After they'd all had a few moments to recover, my 11-year-old pointed out, "I guess in 20 years my kids will be like, 'What? You didn't have hoverboards when you were my age? How did you get from one class to another, WALK?!?'"


For Family Home Evening this week, which is kind of like a weekly devotional we do at home in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we talked about service.

My daughter planned it all out and had us write letters of appreciation to the missionaries in our ward for their service.

Everyone made a card, letter, or picture according to their ability level, and my favorite was definitely my son's which featured a funny mashup of The Princess Bride and the Book of Mormon that I hope amused the missionaries as much as it did me.

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. You should not have done that. But I forgive you. Will you accept this copy of the Book of Mormon?"

We even found out that one of the missionaries had a birthday this week and delivered them on her birthday, so I guess it was nice timing. I just hope she likes The Princess Bride.


My 5-year-old got super-excited about learning how to read, so one night at dinner he pulled out the stack of easy readers on our bookshelf and started reading like a madman.

Carefully he sounded out each word of the story Max's Dad: "Duh... aaaa... duh... 'Dad!' Hhh... aaaaa... sssss... 'has!'" Beaming he announced, "It says, 'Dad has-'"

"A penis!" yelled the 3-year-old.

Well, he's not wrong. It's just not that kind of book.


I've been listening to classical radio in the car lately, and while I was driving my 15-year-old home from school a choral song called "O Fortuna" came on.

You may not know the name, but I bet you've heard it on TV or in a movie whenever they need to set the scene for something epic. The lyrics come from a 13th-century poem lamenting the inexorable fate that befalls us all. And yes, it's intense.

I'm beginning to learn that teenagers are where society deposits its collective knowledge of the most random things on the Internet, so of course, my 15-year-old then directed me to this video of what "O Fortuna" sounds like in English:

That night Phillip was assembling a filing cabinet that came in approximately 3,000 separate pieces, and when he asked me to put on some music you'd better bet I got on the Internet and pulled up "O Fortuna." It just felt right.


Apparently some older kid on the bus told my wide-eyed 5-year-old all about the scariest Halloween monsters (thank you, public school system!) so he's been asking me lots of questions.

"What is a Scream?" A gory 1990s movie franchise starring Monica Gellar. And for the record, kid on the bus who knows way too much about R-rated films, I think he's actually called Ghostface.

"Why does the Grim Reaper kill people?" Well, first of all the personification of Death isn't good or bad, he just takes peoples' souls when their time comes and second of all, he's not real, so where do you want to start?

"What's a 'chainsaw mommy?'"

"A what?"

"A chainsaw mommy. Jack says the Grim Reaper is the scariest but I think a chainsaw mommy is the scariest."

"I think he meant 'mummy,' not 'mommy,'" I explained, making sure to point out that actual mummies aren't alive or bad or equipped with chainsaws.

Then I told him a "chainsaw mommy" is just clearing some heavy brush in her yard and is nothing to be concerned about. And also, he needs a new place to sit on the bus.


This weekend is something I look forward to every six months: General Conference!

In my church, we believe quite literally in a living prophet and apostles (see here for more on what that means to me,) and twice a year they hold a big conference jam-packed with spiritual talks.

Anyone of any faith is welcome to listen in, so consider this your invitation.

Regardless of your religious background I really think if you're seeking a different perspective on life or maybe are just curious about me and what I believe, this is a great place to start.

Viewing times and like a hundred ways you can watch Conference are here! Have a great weekend, guys.

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Jenny in WV said...

Will you be doing special snacks for each of the Conference speakers?
How did you watch the Conference before high speed internet? (All of the options seem to be streaming services?)

A slightly older kid on the bus told me about Freddy Kruger when I was little. I had nightmares even though I'd never seen the movie or even a picture of him! I guess some things (sadly!) never changes!

PurpleSlob said...

Jenny in WV, that was my first question too!

jen said...

I think all of us are looking forward to hearing about your snacks! :) (I'm sitting here laughing at the other comments because it's TOTALLY what I was thinking!)

Jenny Evans said...

I am laughing so hard right now. I didn't even want to mention our conference snacks because it makes it sound like that's what the weekend is all about for us! But I guess... it is all about the snacks. I give in. Yes, WE'RE DOING IT!

Our church buildings can get General Conference via satellite so before high-speed Internet we all used to go there and watch at the church building. It's much easier with kids to watch from the comfort of home, though!