Thursday, May 30, 2019

The Menu of a Restaurant Owned and Operated by My 3-Year-old

Welcome to Bizarre Combinations, the only restaurant in the world owned and operated by a 3-year-old.

Prior to opening this establishment, my 3-year-old spent countless hours serving me toy food from the play kitchen in the children's room at the public library.

I'm honored to present to you the menu of Bizarre Combinations, which was prepared using photographs of all the actual dishes he served to me during our most recent library visit.


Septuple Scoop of Ice Cream and Pot of Coffee


Screw moderation and start your day off right with this entire pot of coffee and a 7-decker rainbow ice cream cone. No cup, no nonsense  just two week's worth of caffeine and sugar.

Slice of Pepperoni Pizza and Green Pepper


Why put the pepper on the pizza when you can eat it whole as a side dish instead? This crunchy bell pepper nestled in a blue bowl is the perfect accompaniment to buttery deep dish pepperoni pizza.

Purple Teacup Surprise


Muffins are anything but ordinary when served in a whimsically-colored teacup! When you see how perfectly our whole wheat muffins fit inside this dainty cup, you won't be able to resist shouting "Bottoms up!"

Fried Chicken 'n Muffins


In this finger-lickin' fusion of baked and fried, everyone's favorite generic brown muffin is back! This powerhouse combination of nondescript muffin and crispy breaded chicken drumstick is served on a colorful repurposed dollhouse rug.

Red Spatula Special


Nothing can beat the earthy aroma of this locally-sourced red plastic spatula being gently percolated to perfection. This decadent treat is gluten-free, calorie-free, and guilt-free. You just might want to order two!

Healthy Vegan Sampler


This tasty, 100% animal-friendly sampler features a hand-tossed salad of seedless California grapes and a plain sugar cone, served with a raw potato in a colander. 
Randomly add rice for $1.50.

Seasonal Grilled Platter


Enjoy all the tastes of summer with our own delightful blend of fresh-off-the-grill favorites including ice cream, fresh cinnamon roll, and slightly underripe banana  all expertly char-grilled to produce the boldest flavors of the season.

Corn on the Cob with a Pot O' Tea


An ear of juicy, farm-fresh corn on the cob served with piping hot herbal tea.
Teacups available on request.* 

*teacups are all filled with muffins.

Pizza with Ketchup and a Drink


There's only one way to improve our classic "everything" pizza: top it with thick, rich tomato ketchup! Your server will then proceed to pour you a glass of juice from the ketchup bottle, but just go along with it like it makes sense.

Click to Share:
Unremarkable Files

1 comment:

PurpleSlob said...

I'll eat there any time!