Friday, June 2, 2017

7 Quick Takes about Free Juice with a Hidden Cost, Kris Kross, and a Shout-Out to All the Volunteer Coaches

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?


I blame my pediatrician. Don't get me wrong, she's the greatest pediatrician we could ask for and I love her. But she never should have said that we were "one of the healthiest families in her practice."

I think you know where this is going.

Remember those welts on my 1-year-old's forehead? Well, a few of them started to look red and like he was growing horns over the weekend, so I brought him in to urgent care.

"These look infected," I told the doctor when she entered the room. "Also, do you have any clue what they are or where they're there in the first place?"

She didn't, but agreed about the infection and prescribed antibiotics.

And then the next morning my other son woke up with a black eye from running into the trampoline in his room. I don't even know how that happens.


When we went to urgent care, my oldest two were at a birthday party but I took the 3 little kids plus the baby with me. They enjoyed the free juice while I was talking with the doctor.

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
This is why health care is so expensive.

By the time we were out of there and had gone to the pharmacy to pick up the prescription, it was way past their bedtime.

But everybody was in good spirits, not counting me during the 15 minutes when I had to make two separate trips back into the pharmacy to take someone potty (mental note: next time, decline the free juice.)

When Kris Kross came on the radio on the way home, it only seemed appropriate to fist bump one of my kids and yell "Woo! Out late in the minivan on a Saturday night gettin' antibioooooootics!"

Luckily, the kids I had with me were young enough to think it was funny instead of throwing themselves out the window into oncoming traffic.


Where was Phillip during all of this, you ask? Well, somebody missed the antibiotics party because he was in Paris for work. Sucker. He doesn't even know how wiggity wiggity wiggity wack it was.

He did win an award for Best Presentation at the conference he attended, though, so I guess he was pretty happy with how the trip turned out.


The weather this spring has been basically awful. I wore T-shirts and went outside more in February than I did in May.

We went to a Memorial Day parade on Monday, and thinking the weather would be reasonable for the end of May I failed to dress anyone appropriately for how cold it was. Other kids were being trundled to the sidewalk by their parents in Step 2 wagons wrapped in fleece blankets, and half of us were in shorts and flip-flops.

We were horribly unprepared, but thankfully we don't keep the car very clean so we were able to scrounge up enough sweatshirts and jackets from the deep recesses of the van for everybody except me.

So I guess there's a plus side.


Are my kids the only ones who act like acid drops are falling from the sky when it rains?

While my 9- and 13-year-olds had soccer practice, I played with the younger kids on the playground next door to the field. (I know it sounds idyllic, but it was mostly my heart stopping as I lurched forward to save the oblivious 1-year-old from certain death as he toddled around.)

Toward the very end it started to drizzle, and you would've thought from their shrieks that they were melting like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Then I realized that's usually my exact reaction to getting rained on. They learned from the best. But seriously, it's just water. I'm going to try to be better about this.


After soccer practice ended and the kids started to disband, the coach asked if he could still borrow my son for a minute. He'd been watching his defense, and wanted to give him a few extra pointers that would help him do even better.

Let me repeat: the coach, who'd driven straight to the field from a long day at work, and was already hot and sweaty, and had already spent an hour trying to corral a dozen 9-year-old boys into a focused activity, and was not even getting paid to do this, was staying after practice to give some personal instruction to my son.

Can I just take a minute to thank all the elementary school coaches? Because of parent volunteers like you, my kids have had a fantastic experiences on the court or field  not because they're particularly great at sports, but because you treated them like they mattered.

Coaches, even if you don't get a verbal thank-you or a group gift card to Dunkin' Donuts at the end of the season, please know that you are so very, very appreciated.


Kids are always going through playing fads, and what my younger ones have been doing a lot lately is playing house. Which is cool except for one thing: THE FAKE CRYING.

Someone is always the baby, and they have perfected the most saccharine, high-pitched, exaggerated cry that is quite possibly the most annoying sound known to man.

Really, kids. I hear actual crying for about 50 hours a day. You don't need to do anything extra. I'm already living the dream.

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The Not So Perfect Catholic said...

Reading your SQT is the highlight of my Friday...REALLY!!! I'm sure at the time, you're really frenzied and frustrated, but your humorous spin on everything brightens my day!

Rosie said...

The fake cry KILLS me. I have one child whose shrieks of glee, cries of pain, and fake cries are identical. You'd think her leg was being sawed off with a butter knife multiple times a day, but really somebody lost her place in the book she was reading, or somebody is sitting in her spot 😑😑😑

Ann-Marie Ulczynski said...

I look forward to your quick takes each week. Seriously, Paris? My kids are the same way about rain, but I love laying in the rain. I will go out in it while they stay in the garage. It's lovely.

Sarah said...

Yours is the first blog I literally laugh out loud while reading. I also relish your SQT every Friday. Thank you for bringing light and laughter to us fellow moms :)

Unknown said...

I LOVE your 7QT posts - I usually read them out loud to my husband and we laugh out loud over them. Keep up the good work, you're awesome!

AuntSue said...

Thanks for sharing your Real Mom tales!

Unknown said...

I totally agree!!😄. By the time Friday rolls around, I need either Valium or comic relief. My kids always know when I am reading your blog, because I'm chortling so loud... P.S. My friend uses a school
bus tracking app called Here Comes The Bus, and I thought of you.

Jenny Evans said...

I need that app. Yesterday.

Thank you both for your kind words. There's something calming about being able to write about the hilarious parts of the chaos, and Friday is my favorite day of the week because of it.

Jenny Evans said...

Which is exactly why moms get completely desensitized to their own kids crying after a few years. I've been known to yell upstairs "Is that happy screaming? No? Well, is it real or fake?"

Jenny Evans said...

I know, lah-de-dah. He did have to stay in a hotel without A/C though, which is I think the universe making sure that everything balances out.

Jenny Evans said...

Thank you for reading! 7 Quick Takes is hands-down my favorite writing project, too.

Jenny Evans said...

Glad you enjoy them. Writing them makes me realize that my life may be a lot of things, but it's certainly not boring!

Jenny Evans said...

And thank you for reading them.

The Lady Okie said...

Ha! Fake crying sounds terrible and also impressive. They've probably just had a lot of experience listening to their younger siblings ;)

PurpleSlob said...

Oh, the fake crying!!!!
Everything else was hilarious!!