It Was An Accident (Or, Why Parenting Sometimes Looks Like a Slapstick Comedy)

You know how kids are always saying, "I didn't mean to! It was an accident!"

Well, sometimes it is.

As a parent you accidentally do all kinds of things. Things that make parenting look like a scene lifted from a Three Stooges movie. Things like these.

Off the top of my head, I have:

• Pressed the "door close" button on the van. While a kid was still climbing out of it.
  
  
• Opened the fridge into the head of a hapless child.
  
  
• Whacked my toddler in the face while adjusting the chest clip of his car seat.
  
  
  
• Opened the mudroom door into a child's behind and knocked her headfirst into the shoe basket.
  
  
• Pinched a chubby little thigh in a seat belt.
  
  
• Swung the microwave open into the cranium of a child sitting on the counter helping me make brownies.
  
  
• Bonked my toddler in the head with the baby carrier. So many times.
  
  
• Clotheslined my daughter with a cupboard door opened at just the wrong time.
  
  
• Smacked my child's head on the ceiling of the car trying to get him out.
  
  
• Bent over to pick up a stray sock, causing the kid behind me to quite literally bounce off my butt and fall onto his.
  
  
• Hit the baby in the forehead when pulling up my shirt to nurse.
  
  
• Bumped my kids' head on the doorframe as I carried her on my hip.


• Playfully tossed my son in a tall snowbank. And watched him disappear under the snow and start screaming.

Of course you feel terrible about all of these, but you're not doing it intentionally! And look on the bight side: maybe it just means you're almost ready to take your Larry, Moe, and Curly act on the road. Other parents are going to love it.

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