Wednesday, May 4, 2016

4 Reasons Teething Is a Baby’s Version of PMS

Michelle from michmash is guest posting here today, and you're in luck. Reading her blog for 5 minutes will make you wish she was your funny best friend, and you won't even care if that's a creepy thing to say. Not least of all, she's got a theory about babies teething that I think definitely warrants some peer-reviewed studies. 

4 Reason Teething Is a Baby's Version of PMS -- When you stop and think about it, teething infants and hormonal PMS-ing women have a lot in common. Too much, actually.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}Now, I'm only a year into this motherhood gig. I am no expert on anything child-related. I'm not actually an expert on anything aside from how to take sneaky pictures of people in public (I didn't say I was proud of that.)

I have, however, learned in my one short year that teething can reside in the same ring of fire and brimstone that PMS often frequents. Also growth spurts, but that's another post for another day.

Maybe you don't agree with me. That's fine! My family had dinner with some friends of ours a few months ago, and they told us their children never had any bad reactions to teething. I'm still waiting for test results to determine if their children are, in fact, human. Or maybe my daughter inherited her low pain tolerance from me. Anything's possible.

4 Reasons Teething Is a Baby's Version of PMS -- When you stop and think about it, teething infants and hormonal PMS-ing women have a lot in common. Too much, actually.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

1. Sophie the Giraffe is the baby's version of a hormonal woman's chocolate cake and heating pad. 

They cope by gnawing on a squeaky rubber zoo animal. Or if you're my child, you chew on your mother's old Beanie Babies. Whatever works.

Also, pain meds work in both scenarios. Ibuprofen is the universal language that can be understood by all in pain. Praise hands.

2. You make special exceptions. 

Cramps? Order a pizza — you don't need to be cooking dinner in your condition! Maybe with a side of a burrito and ice cream? Just thinking out loud here.

Teething baby? Turn on Winnie the Pooh. I know you said you wouldn't be that mother that puts her kid in front of the TV for any reason whatsoever, but we're talking about your sanity here. Any and all distractions from the swollen gum demons are welcome.

Also, another handful of puffs (or as my mother calls them, "junk food for babies") can't hurt!

4 Reasons Teething Is a Baby's Version of PMS -- When you stop and think about it, teething infants and hormonal PMS-ing women have a lot in common. Too much, actually.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
MORE PUFFS, mother!

3. You have something to blame weird symptoms on! Strange stomach pain? Headache? Sudden acne or craving? Check the calendar. Even if the dates are off, it's probably PMS. It just came early! How depressing — better grab a cookie!

Is your baby whining more than normal? Waking up at night? Not napping? Fever? Rash? Drooling? Chewing on things? Sick? Nursing strike? Rosy cheeks? Bored? Disobedient? TEETHING. IT'S ALWAYS TEETHING.

4. You forget every time. Maybe it's just me (it probably is) but every month I am stunned that I'm suddenly starving and cranky. What happened to me? Is it cancer? What is this??

It takes me by surprise every time. I can still tell you the outfit I wore on my first day of kindergarten, but after 15 years I still can't remember my hormones are going to act up every month.

The same goes for babies. Why is my darling, angelic child suddenly screaming at 5 AM? Why won't she take her nap? WHY CAN'T SHE JUST PLAY WITH HER BUCKET OF TOYS AND LEAVE ME ALONE FOR 2 SECONDS?

If you open her mouth, I guarantee you'll see a new tooth poking through, or at the very least some swollen gums. They look swollen, don't they? At least a little more red than usual? It has to be teething. It always is.

 Am I wrong? Am I right? Did I miss anything? You can tell me; I can take it. I'll just be over here with my bar of chocolate.

About the Author:
I'm Michelle from michmash. I write about the wonderful horrors of motherhood, like getting stuck in a Baby Bjorn, and also non-mom things like making fun of my childhood photos and my thoughts on the books I've been reading. I'm the wife to James and the mother to one-year-old Gracie. We live in the Midwest and are often seen ordering pizza and spending an hour trying to decide what to watch on Netflix. I love Jenny, so if you're a friend of hers, I consider you a friend of mine. Can I make you a friendship bracelet? What are your favorite colors?

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Christine Everyday said...

So, so true. Heck, I bet the baby would love ice cream too. Anything to stop the crying.

The Lady Okie said...

Ugh. Teething really is the worst.

Anna said...

TRUTH. Except in our house teething is rarely accompanied by an actual tooth so it's like the Braxton Hicks of labour.

Katy said...

My favorite part is when you attributed the 827 different ways a baby could act to teething. IT'S ALWAYS TEETHING!

Chaun said...

hahahaha I loved this post! So dang true!

AnneMarie said...

This is awesome and so hilarious! I'm currently pregnant with my first, so I'll keep this in mind during the coming year :)

Michelle said...

YES! You are so right! The same thing keeps happening here.

Carolynn Markey said...

teething is baby regresses to an infant....I dislike it as well! teeth must hurt!

Whitney Leigh said...

I'm so glad we don't retain the memories of those horrors.

PurpleSlob InRecovery said...

Oh, Michelle, hi!! I love Jenny, so now you're my great friend's great friend who is now my friend!!
This is so funny!
My fave colors are purple, and more purple. I'll be sure to go to your blog, so I can leave you my mailing address for my bracelet!
I promised one to my BBFFJ (BestBloggingFriendForeverJanice), so now I'll get one back!! Super cool!!

JKemper said...

Do your cycles ever align?

-Terrified friend

Jenny Evans said...

You can blame anything and everything on teething, and you can also use it as an excuse to get out of social engagements. You didn't hear that from me, though.

Jenny Evans said...

There are many things we don't remember, otherwise younger siblings wouldn't exist.

Jenny Evans said...

That's a good question! Now I'm scared, too.

Michelle said...

YES. THEY DO. I present to you yesterday. There was much crying, wailing, and gnashing of newly formed teeth.

Jennifer Humphries said...

Holy cow I have never thought of teething that way, but you are so right! You are one funny chica Michelle. Nice to meet you :)