Friday, July 17, 2015

7 Quick Takes about Sarcastic Children, My Artistic Debut, and Pretending to be the Dowager Countess

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! That means 7 quick takes for the last 7 days. How was your week?


When Phillip took the 3 oldest kids on a run after work, one daughter made it back home way before everyone else.

"Where's everybody?" I asked.

"I killed them," she said, straight-faced.

Ignoring the murder joke, I said, "You got back fast. You must be an amazing sprinter."

"I'm also the world's best assassin," she retorted.

(This is the same child who, if I leave her alone while I run a quick errand and then come home and yell through the door, "Are you still alive?", shouts back "No!")


On Saturday we went to the ocean. We hit it right at low tide and could walk out into the water forever. My 1-year-old played in the tidal pools all afternoon and possibly had the best day of his little life.

Unfortunately I didn't take any pictures because I made a conscious decision to be a mindful parent who lives fully in the moment.

Just kidding, I forgot the camera at home. You'll just have to trust me when I say we had a blast.


Later in the week we visited another beach closer to home. It started drizzling a little while we were swimming, and I had to laugh as I look over at my daughter standing waist-deep in the water holding a kickboard over her head so she didn't... get wet??


I've never been good at drawing. Even as a child I remember being embarrassed at how badly I drew. My drawing fails are the stuff of legends around our house.

Something I've never done well is stepping outside of my comfort zone to try something new. So I was particularly surprised with myself when I had and actually went through with the idea of posting a cartoon on my blog, illustrated by yours truly.

(When Phillip asked what my most recent post was about and I said it was a cartoon, he laughed and said, "No really, what is it?")

So if you want proof that an old dog can learn new tricks, check out "Inside the Head of a Night Owl." It's not half-bad, if I do say so myself. Let me know in the comments if you can relate. What's the latest you've ever stayed up?


There was a really fancypants awards banquet for Phillip's work. It was going to be one of those swanky affairs at an art gallery with catered food and live music, and Downton Abbey servants who come around the room with gilded trays offering you hors d'oeuvres.

7 Quick Takes about Sarcastic Children, My Artistic Debut, and Pretending to be the Dowager Countess  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
Yeah, we were pretty much in a castle.

7 Quick Takes about Sarcastic Children, My Artistic Debut, and Pretending to be the Dowager Countess  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
In a castle eating delicious and beautiful free food... do I have to go home?

I was thrilled to go, mostly to eat food I didn't have to make first. But here was my dilemma as I got ready for the banquet: I couldn't figure out what to put in my purse.

What on earth do you need in your handbag when you aren't taking along kid stuff?? I certainly couldn't envision a scenario where the usual baggies of Cheerios, diapers, wipes, grocery receipts, Hot Wheels cars, and random action figures I normally carry would be very useful.

I settled for Chapstick and my wallet, neither of which I needed all night.

7 Quick Takes about Sarcastic Children, My Artistic Debut, and Pretending to be the Dowager Countess  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
That thing that appears to be growing out of Phillip's head is an unfortunately-placed sculpture.


So in all, the banquet was great, except that THERE WAS A BUG IN MY FOOD!!!!!!!

Sorry, let me calm down a little bit. There was a bug in my food.

And not a cute bug like this:

7 Quick Takes about Sarcastic Children, My Artistic Debut, and Pretending to be the Dowager Countess  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

An ugly nasty sucker like this:

7 Quick Takes about Sarcastic Children, My Artistic Debut, and Pretending to be the Dowager Countess  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

After I was done puking over the railing onto the sculpture garden below (or maybe I just imagined doing that,) I drank some ginger ale (see photo above) and still managed to have a good time.

I guess being a mom helps. I've cleaned walls, people, clothing, and bedding that's been smeared with every unmentionable substance there is. What's a bug or two?


When we had 5 kids I was prepared for the noise level. I knew there would be lots of college tuition, weddings, etc to help pay for in the future. What I didn't realize is that I would be at the dentist all the time. It seems like my kids are very unlucky in the teeth department.

Both of my girls have fallen at school and chipped a front and center permanent tooth, and just this week my son developed a weird bump on his gum that looked like an abscess.

I waited for a few days to see if the bump went away but it didn't, so I took him to the dentist. And they wanted to pull his tooth! I asked why several times, especially since it's a baby tooth that's wiggly already anyway, but they couldn't give me an answer that sounded like the tooth actually needed to come out. So we left, with all his teeth still in his face.

I've been stewing over this for several days so I'm sure there's a blog post in the making here, but why do I feel like doctors and dentists just recommend procedures for no real reason? I've been bothered by this all throughout my pregnancies.

Do you have an experience like this, or am I just being oversensitive?

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Mrs.AOK said...

You had quite the week! Your daughter is witty, she'd fit in perfectly here. :)
EWWW BUG! I once had a caterpillar in my food.
Me: Excuse me there's a caterpillar in my food.
Server: Oh, it's just a little garden worm.
Me: (thought bubble) Is this real life?
Wishing you a lovely weekend with your family.

Sharon said...

your cartoon is genius. (just glad you didnt do your hair like the cartoon for the really "fancy pants awards banquet.")
mostly I think docs and dentist are on a general right path. true somethings need a day or two to go over and read about before I am all in, or not. I have consciencly decided to go in with a dose of faith and trust in the system else I would be a crazy person obsessing and second guessing consistently! which is no healthier or serene, you know? prayer is always involved also ;)

Jenny said...

Is the bump hurting him? I'm not a dentist but my dad is one. So while I certainly can't and won't diagnose him, I can maybe help give an idea or a thought about it. I worked with my dad for 4ish years as an assistant.

In an unrelated note, I love that your kids go running with your husband.

Jenny Evans said...

The dentist drained it, which was every bit as attractive as it sounds, and that seems to have taken care of it. It doesn't bother him anymore and looks almost back to normal. He didn't think anything was wrong with the tooth, so I think we'll be okay just waiting for it to fall out on its own (it's a baby tooth and already wiggly.)

My kids love going running with Phillip. Well - one always does, one either loves it or has zero interest depending on the day, and the other says, "Welllllll, how far are we going?" with narrowed eyes before agreeing to a run.

Jenny Evans said...

What's wrong with the hair? I think it could become a trend, don't you?

Jenny Evans said...

That is not real life. I hope you either got your food for free or gave him the "little garden worm" in a Tupperware to bring home and sprinkle on his own food! Since it was no big deal and all.

Lissette said...

I had to laugh at the "what do you put in your purse sans kids" portion because before having my son I bought myself this really nice Coach purse as a splurge it has one main pocket and two outside pockets, plus in inside zippered pocket and another smallish business card pocket. It's not a huge purse, but it fits a lot and I *always* had that purse packed with stuff before baby. Now, I put my wallet and that's basically it. I can't think of else to put in there the few times I actually get to use it.

As for the abcess, yes, that's an abscess. Somehow the tooth got infected and normally they would do a root canal to drain and try to save the tooth, but since it's a baby tooth, it really doesn't make a difference since a permanent tooth will eventually grow in. Not to be alarmist, definitely keep a close eye on it if you're not going to pull because it could lead to problems.

Lynne at The Sweet Midlife said...

I LOVE the cartoon. LOVE. I was the worst at art class in middle school, and my mother kept my ceramic "jar" and "lid" to make me feel better. They are really, really sad. And I have stayed about until like 3 only to get up at 5. Which was goofy. I felt like my computer was holding me hostage. Oh, and I would have passed out if that bug was in my food. Arrgh. Looks like a wonderful party!

karen said...

I agree with you, just to pull a baby tooth out without figuring out other ideas first...there had to be some homeopathic remedy to try first. your daughter's snark. Dino will say insane things just for shock value...I shouldn't laugh but I do.

Jenny Evans said...

The things mothers keep out of love for their children...

Jenny Evans said...

She recently figured out that I blog about her, so now I think she's pulling out the big guns.

Jenny Evans said...

The dentist specifically says he didn't think it was abscessed, which is why I couldn't understand the advantage to pulling it out. He basically said the same: to just keep an eye on it if we didn't want to pull it.

Unknown said...

I love your writing! Very witty and HILarious! I love when people can sum up life in such a humorous way.