Monday, May 18, 2015

50 Reasons Why My Kids Aren't in Bed Right Now

50 Reasons Why My Kids Aren't in Bed Right Now -- every night it's like the prairie dog habitat at the zoo as all 4 kids take turns popping their heads out the door with their 50+ excuses as to why they can't sleep  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

Eight o'clock, bedtime for our four oldest children.

We give hugs, sing songs, and read stories. We close the door, and after calming down the toddler because we forgot to leave it open a crack, quietly tiptoe downstairs.

Three, two, one... and the first little person wanders out of their room with a plaintive "Mooooom..."

Over the next 45 minutes, our house will become the prairie dog habitat at the zoo as all 4 kids take turns popping their heads out of their bedroom doors with various excuses why they can't sleep. Such as:

  1. I have a hangnail.
  2. There's a bump on my tongue.
  3. I'm scared of the snow monster in Frozen.
  4. I can't find my other slipper.
  5. The blanket is tangled up.
  6. I need lotion on my hands.
  7. I need a drink.
  8. I forgot to brush my teeth.
  9. I just remembered that my shoebox diorama of an ocean habitat is due tomorrow.
  10. I'm hot.
  11. I'm cold.
  12. I need another drink.
  13. I'm suddenly very sad about my pet hamster that died 9 months ago.
  14. What are we having for breakfast in the morning?
  15. My foot hurts.
  16. My stomach hurts.
  17. Nothing hurts, I just don't feel good in general.
  18. I need a different blanket.
  19. I'm tired.
  20. My lips are chapped.
  21. My pillow smells.
  22. My pillow is too lumpy.
  23. Now my pillow is lost.
  24. I need to go potty.
  25. And get another drink.
  26. I fell out of bed and hurt my elbow.
  27. What does "intercourse" mean?
  28. It's dark in here.
  29. My sister is singing.
  30. Now she's humming.
  31. What will the weather be like tomorrow?
  32. I don't like these pajamas.
  33. I heard a car honk its horn outside.
  34. There's a mosquito in here!
  35. I learned a funny joke at school.
  36. What happens after you die?
  37. I have the hiccups.
  38. The mosquito's back.
  39. I didn't get to say goodnight to you.
  40. I need to go potty again. Number two this time!
  41. I forgot to get a drink when I went potty.
  42. I can hear you watching TV down there.
  43. What time is it?
  44. How many days until my birthday?
  45. When do you guys go to bed? Why do you get to stay up later than me?
  46. I want to sleep on the floor.
  47. My side hurts when I breathe.
  48. Promise you won't let anyone touch my Lego city while I'm at school tomorrow.
  49. I have a wiggly tooth.
  50. I really, really need a drink!

Someday science will uncover the reason why all children realize that they're dying of thirst the moment they lie down in bed, but not tonight.

Tonight we'll just ride out the requests for a third, fourth, and fifth drink of water, and hope that at some point, they give up and go to sleep. They'll need some quiet time to generate excuses for tomorrow, won't they?

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Moderate Mum said...

These all seem like perfectly valid reasons to me :)

Jenny Evans said...

Did one of my kids put you up to saying that?

Jenny said...

I only have 2 right now but the oldest who is 3 is a pro at most of these reasons. Her most recent excuse is either "I can't find my puppy". And that her sister is crying or sometimes even because she's sleeping. After a day full of nagging you would think they would be tired enough to just lay down and sleep. It's a good thing they are cute and so lovable.

Jenny Evans said...

I love the "my sister is sleeping so I can't sleep" excuse.

Unknown said...

Yep, sounds familiar! We don't have this so much at the moment as I tend to sing my two year old to sleep and the five year old is generally tired enough to go up happily after his school days, but he went through a phase where it was everything from "I need you to tuck my pyjamas into my socks" to "I need a plaster" (on a bruise). *sigh* :-) Thanks for linking up to #thetruthabout Jenny X

Rachel said...

Bwahaha! These are too funny. I think my parents gave up on bedtimes about 15 years ago, and just try to exhaust us through all the work that needs to be done instead. Just recently I was on Skype consoling my 8 year old sister--both parents were gone on a trip, and they'd left instructions for the 18 year old to put all the school-aged children to bed by 9. Baby sister thought this was utterly ridiculous because, "When Mom and Dad are home, we never go to bed at 9. We usually stay up till 2 in the morning."
I think that was a wee exaggeration...

Jenny Evans said...

My daughters are fond of telling me that they stayed up until midnight, too.

Unknown said...

How about " I can't find my dream"

Anonymous said...

We have our kids fill up a water bottle and put it next to their beds to head off the "I need a drink"'s, but it doesn't get rid of any other excuse on earth and it still takes them about 2 1/2 hours to fall asleep after bedtime. Partly because after bickering incessantly ALL DAY LONG, they're magically best friends and need to giggle and talk for hours after 8:30. I'm so tired!

Jenny Evans said...

Exactly why it's so hard to cut the chit chat - they're getting along!!