Tuesday, February 3, 2015

If Babies Wrote Poetry

Do you ever watch your baby and wonder what he's thinking? I'm sure a lot of us do. But because I majored in English in college, what I really wonder is what my baby would say if he were able to arrange his thoughts in verse and write poetry.

If he could, it would probably look something like this:

If Babies Wrote Poetry -- putting a baby's thoughts in verse will make you laugh out loud  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
photo by Mario Carvajal

I Think I'll Try to Eat This

A dry noodle from dinner the night before
Lies tantalizing upon the floor,
Good thing no one cleans this place anymore
I think I'll try to eat this.

A piece of dirt from your boot was flung,
It crumbles deliciously on the tongue,
There's more to taste and the night is young
I think I'll try to eat this.

So much to explore and only one mouth:
A dusty raisin beneath the couch,
Wadded-up tissues from the trash,
Mom's bathroom cabinet tampon stash,
A ladybug creeping along the wall,
Random hair tangled up in a ball
I think I'll try to eat this.
Yes, I think I'll try to eat this.

Gassy (a haiku)

Writhe in agony
Rattle windows with my screams
Fine now  just a fart.

A Breastfeeding Limerick

Nursing in public is fun,
Especially since I'm almost one.
I'll pull down the blanket,
Bite your nipple and yank it:
How else will you know when I'm done?

See what I mean? What do you think your baby would say?

Leave your answer in the comments below and when you're done, check out more hilarious poetry by babies!
Can’t get enough cute baby and newborn humor? This hilarious post is all about what would happen if babies wrote poetry, and I’m STILL laughing at the baby haiku! #baby #parentinghumor #funny
Can’t get enough cute baby and newborn humor? This hilarious post is all about what would happen if babies wrote poetry, and I’m STILL laughing at the baby haiku! #baby #parentinghumor #funny

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Unremarkable Files


Peggy said...

Yup, that would be it. So funny!

Unknown said...

Ha! This is awesome and brilliant! I love it... and that photo... awwwww!

'Gassy' is genius!

Thanks for sharing.

Megan said...

These are so great!

mumturnedmom said...

Brilliant! The limerick made me laugh out loud... Yup, this is exactly what they're thinking :) #ShareWithMe

Mummy Tries said...

So clever, love all three!! If only the nipple biting wasn't true #SWM

brummymummyof2 said...

Tee hee! Mine are always picking up dusty raisins off the fool! Hilarious! x

Unknown said...

Ha ha this is brilliant! Made me laugh xx

Unknown said...

This is awesome!!! Very funny and clever!! Xx

Unknown said...

Ha this was really funny to read. Especially the eating poem, sounds a lot like my little boy. Won't eat anything I give him but if it's been on the floor for a day it's fair game. #sharewithme

Louise said...

Lol these are brilliant. I especially like "I think I'll try to eat this" - such a brilliant way of capturing all those random things that little ones pick up off the floor and try to eat :-)

Unknown said...

I love this. There's nothing like a little humor in our lives as mothers. All of this made me laugh out loud because I can relate to them all (especially with the eating poem at the top). Thank you for putting a smile on my face today :)

Janine Huldie said...

So funny and my girls are a bit older, but still remember this age well and you capture dit perfectly with your poetry!! :)

Brandyn Blaze said...

These are fantastic! Haven't laughed so hard in a while!


Unknown said...

Definitely the breastfeeding limerick!

Unknown said...

Really funny! A very talented writer!!! x

Tarana Khan said...

Haha, this is so good! And very true :)

Lisa (mummascribbles) said...

These are brilliant! Made me giggle!! #sharewithme

Unknown said...

Thank you so much for linking up to Wonderful Wed. Blog Hop. This is the cutest poem. Thanks for sharing it.
Many Blessings,
Diane Roark

Anonymous said...

Is that your baby? Absolutely adorable. It's a miracle they all grow up fine with everything that goes into their mouths.

Queen Mom Jen said...

Haha, you are a riot! These are fabulous :)

Jenny Evans said...

Sorry to say I can't take credit for the beautiful baby. She's a model.

Wondering how my 5 children have survived with all they tried to eat as babies is actually what prompted this post.

Anonymous said...

Mommy looks funny when she is stress
Mostly when I get undress

Much more fun in public
Where she goes ballistic

This comes to mind =P

Unknown said...

Ha! Brilliant Jenny. Only last week my two year old discovered an old raisin on the floor in the swimming pool changing rooms and ate it before I could get to it! Babies are gross :-) X

Jenny Evans said...

Wow. Eating off the ground, in a public place, where there's a thin pool of stagnant water on the floor. Sounds like a good idea? You must be a baby.

How can this be so disgusting yet I find it so genuinely hilarious/endearing at the same time?

Jenny Evans said...

Up to this point I haven't had a child who liked to strip in public, but if parenting has taught me anything it's that I should never say never.

I love this.

Unknown said...

I loved this so much!

Thanks for sharing and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop.

Wishing you a lovely day.

Jennifer said...

So funny. Captures baby's thoughts perfectly. Thanks for the laugh.

Amanda said...

This is so funny! "I think I'll try to eat this" is my favorite! I just caught the 10 month old baby that I watch chewing on the bristles of my broom. Gross! Please collect your poems into a book. What a great baby shower gift that would be! (And if you've already done that...where can I get it?)

Audrey said...

Absolutely brilliant. I can hardly type because I am still giggling!

saw this on Wonderful Wednesdays.

Unknown said...

The Mothers say - Oh these are so funny and so very true. We loved the "I'll think I'll eat this...." and we won't mention the time that Lucas ate a spider............. #sharewithme

Wicked World of Lucas said...

Been chuckling into my morning cuppa reading these. Actually didn't want the post to end. These were so funny and wonderfully written x #sharewithme

Anonymous said...

I must admit. 'Gassy' was my favorite!

Let's Talk Mommy said...

These are absolute genius I love poetry and used to write a lot of it on my blog but these are so great! I love them. Thank you ever so much for linking up to Share With Me. #sharewithme

Unknown said...

Hehe, this were hilarious! I have a 14-month-old so I could highly relate to them. Stopping by from SITS!

Kendall said...

Funny, yet amazingly wonderful and spot on! I have much difficulty looking through this perspective sometimes, though on occasion Hun and I will come up with some narrated version of what we think Baby Boy is thinking or saying to/about us lol. :)

Unknown said...

Haha funny! #IBABLOGGERS

Unknown said...

I love this!!!! Haha so funny! Thanks for sharing. #ibabloggers

Julie S said...

Oh these are awesome! I love the first one, so beautifully written and painfully true hehe

Teresa said...

I Love these! They are all so accurate!