7 Quick Takes about Questionable Ways to Use Toilet Paper Rolls, Boston Cream Pie, and How to Ride an Elevator

I'ts 7 Quick Takes Friday!

—1—

Did everyone have a good Martin Luther King, Jr. Day?

My kids learned all about him last week in school, and my 6-year-old brought this home:

Scraping the bottom of the "MLK Day Crafts for the Classroom" barrel.

Yes, you're looking at a toilet paper tube likeness of Martin Luther King, Jr. complete with arms and feet. 

I wonder if this is what he envisioned when he said, "I have a dream?"

—2—

As background information, you need to know 3 things about our family:

1. Phillip is an amazing baker. Ah-mazing.
2. When he makes dessert we all have a slice after dinner, then he and I eat whatever is left after the kids go to bed. Every time. We just can't help it. The kids wake up in the morning like, "Where's the rest of the cake?"
3. For the purposes of this Quick Take, I'll be assigning our family a fake address. I'm not saying you're a crazy stalker, but well, you know. You might be.

Anyway, Phillip made a Boston cream pie for dessert. About half was left over, which the kids figured they'd never see again. When he pulled out the other half out after dinner the next night and started slicing, they went ballistic. 

The 3-year-old started giggling maniacally, my son looked stunned, and my daughter boomed in a rather imposing voice for an 8-year-old, "Attention, everyone! There has been a miracle at 265 Benson Drive: My parents did not eat all the Boston cream pie while we were sleeping!" 

You know, it sort of was a miracle.

Sounds fair to me.

—3—

Whenever I do a Quick Take about food, I usually realize while typing that I didn't take a single picture before devouring the last crumb.

If you get a picture at all, blog readers, it's of the little leftover piece I was able to salvage at the very end as an afterthought. 

So I'm sorry, the Boston cream pie was delicious but I have nothing to show you. You'll just have to imagine it.

—4—

While I was getting some procrastinating done this week, I stumbled upon this entertaining and informative series of videos by Mental Floss on YouTube:





If you can do me a quick favor, listen at 10:35 and let me know in the comments if you also initially thought they thanked you for watching menopause.

—5—

When I started seeing "life hacks" like the ones in #4 floating around on Pinterest, I have to say I was floored. The Internet held the key to all of my first-world problems!

Until one fateful day, armed with my knowledge of all the secret life hacks Pinterest has to offer, I actually tried one in the real world:

LIES! Not only did it not work, I had to stand there while the elevator stopped at every floor because I'd pushed all the buttons myself. 

That pin, now that I think about it, is actually an ingenious way to trick people into pranking themselves. Well played, Pinterest. 

—6—

Do you ever have moments where you give up trying to socialize your kids?

I overheard my 6-year-old say that the Red Sox were playing the Patriots in the Superbowl. Obviously we're not a sports-watching family (more due to a lack of TV than a lack of interest — for Phillip, anyway). But I'd still like our kids to know broadly which category of sport the Superbowl is.

This was just after he came home complaining that someone in his class at school made fun of him for having off-brand crayons. Crayons!

So that's it, I give up. I wash my hands of this whole trying-to-help-small-humans-integrate-into-society thing, because it's obviously not working. We're moving to an isolated cabin in the North Carolina woods and discontinuing all contact with the outside world. Sort of like Jodie Foster in Nell. 

—7—

Lastly, I don't usually do book reviews here at Unremarkable Files, but I thought this little gem off my 3-year-old's shelf deserved one. 

As she's asked me to read it over and over this week, I've come to realize that this might be the most thoughtful and insightful children's book I've ever read.

Comes with stickers, people!
It's obvious just from the cover that this is going to be life-changing.

I was hooked from the opening line: "Once there was a pretty princess named Alexa."* And on that note the book just continues to deliver, page after page.

I felt Alexa's elation as she found herself in a magical land where "there were brightly colored trees, floating islands, mermaids, fairies, and adorable baby unicorns everywhere!" The suspense I felt as she battled to save the Queen Unicorn with her magic bordered on the unbearable. 

Luckily, everything turned out alright in the end. And I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried like a baby when I read the closing sentence: "She had learned that real magic and happiness come from within." 

5 stars, absolutely. If you haven't read this book yet, put it on your bucket list. You'll never be the same.


*I swear these are all real, unedited quotes straight from the book.