|Someone has excellent table etiquette |
AND is a wonderful yogurt artist!
On that note, I'm introducing a new system designed to make mealtime a more pleasant experience for everyone. But mostly me.
Effective immediately, the following topics of conversation are no longer permissible at the dinner table:
- Anything that anyone else is doing, unless it will result in death or permanent property damage.
- Complaining about food and/or attempting to order à la carte.
- Nonsensical noises coming from any part of your person.
- Unfair items that happened to you between 30 minutes and 8 years ago.
- Extensive discussions about Minecraft.
- Bloodcurdling screams (penalties will be waived if a follow-up emergency room visit is required.)
- Reporting to me every time one of your siblings violates these guidelines.
Thank you in advance for your co-operation. Your observance of this new system will ensure the safety and mental well-being of everyone at the table.
I look forward to a conversation on a real topic made up of actual words.