Saturday, June 13, 2015

This Is Why I Don't Post Crafty DIY Tutorials on My Blog

This weekend my 7-year-old had a birthday party and wanted the theme to be Minecraft. Pretending to care even one iota about anything related to Minecraft is like, physically painful to me, so this was a real labor of love.

It was also really difficult to plan, because I don't understand a single thing about that game. My son sometimes makes weird noises and says he's a Villager, but that's not really enough information to plan an entire party around.

So I did some Googling and was pretty pleased at what I came up with. And then I thought to myself, Hey, I'm a blogger so I should document making all this stuff and put it on the blog!

Soon after, I discovered that I'd be the worst DIY blogger in the world.

1. I have no original ideas. 

I've been known to put together a decent themed birthday party in my day, but most of my ideas are cribbed from somewhere else.

I stole was inspired by "knock over the Creeper" here, the birthday cake scavenger hunt here, and the paper plate decorations here. I also used this YouTube playlist of Minecraft songs.

Boom. Minecraft party.

Maybe I should be a DIY blogger, after all. That was easy!

2. My house is too dirty.

When you visit a how-to blog, you're supposed to be greeted with lovely images of the project being completed  without irrelevant crap in the background.

I'm just not sure how that's supposed to work. Do I have to clean my house and then make a bunch of crafty stuff? Because I don't have time for both. Actually, I don't have time for either.

So what you get on this blog is pictures of me making a Creeper on a dirty counter wedged in between a halfway cut-up watermelon and the butter dish.

This Is Why I Don't Post Crafty DIY Tutorials on My Blog -- After spending a day making supplies for my 7-year-old's Minecraft birthday party, I'm glad I don't make DIY tutorials for a living. And you should be, too.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

3. I can't figure out how to take pictures.

On real how-to blogs, you get shot after beautiful shot of two hands sewing, pinning, painting, or cutting the project... how are they taking those pictures? Are they holding their phone in their teeth and taking pictures with their tongue or something?

The only person home with me during the day is my 3-year-old, who isn't very helpful as far as photography goes.

I know that because I figured what the heck, I might as well ask her to take a picture of me decorating the Minecraft cake and see what happened.

This Is Why I Don't Post Crafty DIY Tutorials on My Blog -- After spending a day making supplies for my 7-year-old's Minecraft birthday party, I'm glad I don't make DIY tutorials for a living. And you should be, too.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
A tasteful close-up of my farmer tan.

Actually, she did improve and ended up getting some pretty good shots.

For months now she's been stealing my camera and photographing random objects around the house "for her blog." So she was thrilled to know that these pictures were actually going on the blog and told me about 300 times that she's available to take pictures of me whenever I want:

This Is Why I Don't Post Crafty DIY Tutorials on My Blog -- After spending a day making supplies for my 7-year-old's Minecraft birthday party, I'm glad I don't make DIY tutorials for a living. And you should be, too.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

This Is Why I Don't Post Crafty DIY Tutorials on My Blog -- After spending a day making supplies for my 7-year-old's Minecraft birthday party, I'm glad I don't make DIY tutorials for a living. And you should be, too.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

I think I created a monster.

4. I've got too many photo-bombers kids.

One reason I don't get creative and crafty very often is that there are always small people hanging on me. I'm rarely at liberty to focus on something and use both hands to do it.

For example, gluing together the decorations did not go well when the baby kept diving into my lap and wiping his nose all over my chest.

This Is Why I Don't Post Crafty DIY Tutorials on My Blog -- After spending a day making supplies for my 7-year-old's Minecraft birthday party, I'm glad I don't make DIY tutorials for a living. And you should be, too.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
Keeping a steady hand while being used as a Kleenex: not as easy as it looks.


In summary, I'm regretfully not the blogger who can be trusted to bring you a Pin-worthy illustrated tutorial of... anything.

But I can tell you that after all the research that went into this party, I still can't stand Minecraft.

This Is Why I Don't Post Crafty DIY Tutorials on My Blog -- After spending a day making supplies for my 7-year-old's Minecraft birthday party, I'm glad I don't make DIY tutorials for a living. And you should be, too.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
Gluing toenails on a freaking Creeper. Someone kill me now.

I think through this experience I've learned two things: one, that no matter how hard I try Minecraft will never be my thing, and two, that I should leave tutorials on how to make stuff to people who actually know what they're doing.

This Is Why I Don't Post Crafty DIY Tutorials on My Blog -- After spending a day making supplies for my 7-year-old's Minecraft birthday party, I'm glad I don't make DIY tutorials for a living. And you should be, too.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}


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13 comments:

  1. I love the honesty in this! I can so relate in so many ways. I suck at party planning. And even if I were great at it, my photos would still suck. Oh and you're not alone. I don't even know what Minecraft is. I'm guessing it's a video game? lol

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    1. You are so lucky not to even know what Minecraft is. Enjoy it; it's only a matter of time before some small person starts talking your ear off about it!

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  2. Ha! I feel ya! I don't do them either for the same reasons :-) Although, I must add that the lighting in my house is terrible which attributes to terrible indoor pictures!

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  3. I would never have read through an entire Minecraft tutorial. I read through your whole post with a smile!

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  4. Love this! :D I'm with you. No original ideas most of the time. :/

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  5. You have earned bonus points for this effort :) Not sure when or how you can cash them in but........

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  6. This made me laugh! I have said every single one of these! But then I blog the crafty things anyway so I can justify spending all the time I do on them! As far as the original ideas thing: it dawned on me recently that I really don't think there is such a thing as an original idea anymore since the inception of Pinterest. Anything I have ever thought up, I find it somewhere on the internet! Found you on the #MommyMondayBlogHop and so glad I did because this made me smile!

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  7. Popping over from Monday Madness =) This post is hilarious! I do post craft tutorials and I know they could always be better. I however, don't have any photobombers so I have that going for me. And I don't get the minecraft thing either...

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  8. They just post the pictures where everything is prefect! You don't see the carnage they've shoved out the way!

    I don't do recipe posts that often for the same reasons. I want to eat my food, not faff about photographing it. Hungry!

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    1. I always laugh about how I sometimes mention food but never take pictures of it - I don't even think about taking a picture until it's gone. If you're lucky, sometimes you'll see a hastily taken shot of a lone leftover piece, but otherwise readers just have to take my word for it that my food was delicious and beautiful.

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  9. Too funny! My almost 3-year-old ran around with an old digital camera we got him and claimed his pictures were either going on Facebook or his blog depending on the moment. Apparently we know where I spend a lot of time. Also, my kids favorite Minecraft song (too young to play... but Dad watches things on YouTube with them) is Diggy Diggy Hole.

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  10. Hahaha this made me giggle. :) I find I have the same problems when I try to do tutorials! Except my main photobomber is my curious puppy who's usually very concerned about whatever strange smelling objects her mama is working with (like burlap and hot glue). Your party looks cute though! :)

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  11. I wanna know that too!! do they have resident photographers on permanent retainer?? I grab my husband, my ex husband, my duaghter, who ever happens to be visiting at the time. "Here, snap this shot please! Why? For my blog of course!" over the groans "Just do it please!!"

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