Monday, June 15, 2015

10 Things You'll Never Hear Dads Say

We love the dads in our lives, but sometimes they can get a little... predictable.

In fact, right now I can think of 10 things you'll never hear your husband or father say. Ever.


Check out this hilarious Father’s Day humor! Just thinking about my dad, step-dad, or husband saying any of these things is making me burst out laughing. Enjoy these funny dad sayings and quotes – but in reverse, because no dad would ever, ever say them. #fathersday #dads #truths #funny
Check out this hilarious Father’s Day humor! Just thinking about my dad, step-dad, or husband saying any of these things is making me burst out laughing. Enjoy these funny dad sayings and quotes – but in reverse, because no dad would ever, ever say them. #fathersday #dads #truths #funny
Check out this hilarious Father’s Day humor! Just thinking about my dad, step-dad, or husband saying any of these things is making me burst out laughing. Enjoy these funny dad sayings and quotes – but in reverse, because no dad would ever, ever say them. #fathersday #dads #truths #funny

1. Honey, are we out of cardstock? Oh well, I guess I'll make another Michael's run tomorrow.

2. You know, I was there when my wife did it and I really don't think childbirth looked all that bad.

3. So what'll it be today: plain old French braids or Dad's signature "cheerleader bun with ribbons?"*

4. Well, I've finished everything I need to get done around here.... I'm kind of bored, actually. I wish the kids would break something.

5. You already had the period talk with our daughter? Without me??

6. If you kids don't know what you want to eat, it might help to stand in front of the fridge with the door open for 10 minutes while you think about it.

7. Here, let me show you the best way to wrap your hair up in a towel nice and snug after a shower.

8. I really hope you guys left your bikes lying all over the driveway so I can't pull the car out of the garage tomorrow morning.

9. Have fun on your date with my daughter! And don't worry about getting back at any specific time. Just whenever.

10. I really appreciate the Father's Day breakfast, but next time could you do turkey bacon with my eggs? Turkey bacon blows regular bacon out of the water!

Leave a comment below with the thing you'd never catch your dad saying. But remember, this list is all in fun.

Dads, in all their varieties, are awesome.

*I realize there probably are dads out there re-creating Elsa's coronation bun from Frozen on their daughters' heads, and I think that's fantastic. In fact, can you please come do my kids' hair next?
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11 comments:

jenny Albertson said...

"Looks like you need some new jeans. Let's go to the mall."

Jenny Evans said...

Hilarious, and yes!

Anonymous said...

These are hilarious! I wish I could think of one right now.

Handsfullmom said...

:)

Samantha P said...

I have no idea what No.1 means! I'm thinking "Would you mind having a lie in in the morning because I've got a packed day planned with the kids and I'd love to do solo breakfast with them first"... Thanks for linking up to #thetruthabout Jenny X

Jenny Evans said...

It's quite possible that they call cardstock (heavy scrapbooking/cardmaking paper) something else in the UK and don't have Michael's (craft store) either! Maybe I should look for a "Google translator" widget or something for my UK readers!

Maria from Collecting Moments said...

As always, Jenny, you never disappoint! I think mine would be "Want to sit on the couch and watch HGTV with me?" One can hope, right? Thank you for his hilarious post!

Jenny Evans said...

I love that one!

Tayrina said...

This is nice to read! Makes me think about other 10 more things I will never hear. Thanks for sharing. I'm visiting you from Shine Blog Hop.

Tayrina from
www.atinymixof.com

Catherine said...

Ok, so I actually heard my grandfather come out with no. 2 when I was 36 weeks pregnant with child #2... followed by "I really don't know what all the fuss is about, they always want to set off to the hospital too early!" at which point I had to leave the room ;-)

Jenny Evans said...

Oh no he didn't!

Good thing you left the room, the one who gets in a fist fight with grandpa at family gatherings always gets labeled as the bad guy!