Monday, June 15, 2015

10 Things You'll Never Hear Dads Say

We love the dads in our lives, but sometimes they can get a little... predictable.

In fact, I can think of 10 things right now that you'll never hear your husband or father say. Ever.

1. Honey, are we out of cardstock? Oh well, I guess I'll make another Michael's run tomorrow.

2. You know, I was there when my wife did it and I really don't think childbirth looked all that bad.

3. So what'll it be today: plain old French braids or Dad's signature "cheerleader bun with ribbons?"

4. Well, I've finished everything I need to get done around here.... I'm kind of bored, actually. I wish the kids would break something.

5. You already explained periods to our daughter? But  wanted to be the one!

6. If you kids don't know what you want to eat, it might help to stand in front of the fridge with the door open for 10 minutes while you think about it.

7. Here, let me show you the best way to wrap your hair up in a towel nice and snug after a shower.

8. I'm late for work, so I really hope you guys left your bikes lying all over the driveway so I can't get out.

9. You're going on a date with my daughter? Well, don't worry about getting back at any specific time. Just whenever.

10. I really appreciate the Father's Day breakfast, but next time could you do turkey bacon with my eggs? Turkey bacon blows regular bacon out of the water!

Leave a comment below with the thing you'd never catch your dad saying. But remember, this list is all in fun.

I realize there probably are dads out there re-creating Elsa's coronation bun from Frozen on their daughters' heads, and more power to them!

Dads, in all their varieties, are awesome.

10 Things You'll Never Hear Dads Say -- I guarantee you will never catch these words coming out of your husband's or father's mouth. Ever.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

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  1. "Looks like you need some new jeans. Let's go to the mall."

  2. These are hilarious! I wish I could think of one right now.

  3. I have no idea what No.1 means! I'm thinking "Would you mind having a lie in in the morning because I've got a packed day planned with the kids and I'd love to do solo breakfast with them first"... Thanks for linking up to #thetruthabout Jenny X

    1. It's quite possible that they call cardstock (heavy scrapbooking/cardmaking paper) something else in the UK and don't have Michael's (craft store) either! Maybe I should look for a "Google translator" widget or something for my UK readers!

  4. As always, Jenny, you never disappoint! I think mine would be "Want to sit on the couch and watch HGTV with me?" One can hope, right? Thank you for his hilarious post!

  5. This is nice to read! Makes me think about other 10 more things I will never hear. Thanks for sharing. I'm visiting you from Shine Blog Hop.

    Tayrina from

  6. Ok, so I actually heard my grandfather come out with no. 2 when I was 36 weeks pregnant with child #2... followed by "I really don't know what all the fuss is about, they always want to set off to the hospital too early!" at which point I had to leave the room ;-)

    1. Oh no he didn't!

      Good thing you left the room, the one who gets in a fist fight with grandpa at family gatherings always gets labeled as the bad guy!