Friday, March 6, 2015

7 Quick Takes about Investment Opportunities, Adventures in Speech Therapy, and Mannequins who Refuse to Accept the Truth

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! That means 7 quick thoughts for the last 7 days.


—1


I thought about waiting to announce this until I was sure something would come of it, but I'm too excited. This week, an email arrived in my inbox with the subject line: "i have a project worth 37 million dollars."

I mean, that's a lot of money, so I kept reading. The email said:



I am Mr.Perry Chang, Financial Controller at China Trust Commercial Bank in Beijing.i have a project worth 37 Million dollars.contact Me

So I'm totally doing that after I finish these 7 Quick Takes. I hope I'm not too late to get a cut in this multi-million dollar project, whatever it is!



—2


Since I rarely see messages from Mr. Chang and his associates in my inbox, I realized that the spam filter on my email must be pretty tight. So I decided to take a look at my junk mail folder to see what else I've been missing.



It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

Not sure exactly how this is supposed to get my money, but okay! I, too, am very concerned about the hottest news bulletins on the problems over the ocean.



It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

This guy spared no effort in trying to convince me that this email is not, I repeat NOT, like one of those shady emails sent by bad guys "to facilitate their nefarious deeds." Sounds legit.



It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

This is my personal favorite. Oprah, you say? Well, then! Just tell me where to fork over my money and consider it done!



—3


Why is it that when people show up unannounced and my house is a disaster, I clean up frantically after they leave?

The odds that a second person will drop by unexpectedly in the next few hours is like getting struck by lightning. Statistically speaking, I should just hunker down and enjoy living in squalor for the rest of the day.


—4


My son's speech homework is going through a page of "ch-" words every day. I point at each picture and he says the name out loud.


It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

My 3-year-old, who can't read but can look at pictures, wanted to do the same, so I started pointing to the bottom row as she named the pictures: "face," "house," "poop," and "checkers." 


Makes total sense.


—5


While walking through the mall, I couldn't help but notice that the mannequins seemed a little confused about what it's actually like outside right now:


It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
Obviously in complete denial about the weather.

Meanwhile, outside:
It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
Send more front-end loaders! This snow ain't gonna clear itself.

—6


The kids and I tried to put the snow around us to good use by trying out a recipe for "snow ice cream" that we found on the Internet. It tasted like sugar water, except slightly grosser and the texture was clumpier and more disgusting. Fail.

—7


Does driving behind something like this make anyone else nervous?


It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
I cannot wait to pass this guy.

One of my weird things about driving is that I don't like to be behind cars with trailers, mattresses tied to the roof, or flatbeds carrying a couple of 2-ton cars. Yes, I know they're chained in place. Doesn't matter. 


I also don't like driving with the window all the way down because I feel like something is going to fly up and hit me in the head. What irrational driving fears do you have?



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8 comments:

  1. You amaze me Jenny with how you can come up with such funny material week after week. It is all such good stuff that others can relate to which is what makes your blog so much fun. I look forward to your posts. Can you take your talent and start capitalizing on it even more? You really are clever. By the way, I hate being sandwiched between 2 tractor trailers on the highway or going 75 mph in the "fast" lane with cement barriers on either side of me. A sight deviation like a sneeze could send me careening into that wall. Have a good day :)

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    1. You can read here about how I'm trying to capitalize on my antics, but no book deal has materialized yet:

      http://unremarkablefiles.blogspot.com/2015/01/the-7-habits-of-highly-dysfunctional.html

      Also, I'm never going to sneeze on the highway again without thinking for a moment that I might crash and burn. Thanks a lot.

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  2. This made me smile. You have a great way of looking at the world.

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  3. I think my worst driving fear is falling asleep at the wheel - I've had occasions where I've literally been shaking my head so I don't have a prolonged blink (!) but actually - that is completely rational :-) Being a mum will do that to you. Love your daughter's take on chocolate. And yes, I sometimes shake my head in wonder at the madness of spam emails - surely these people would have more success if they just went out and grabbed someone's handbag? Have a great weekend Jenny X

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    1. I've never thought about it that way, but old-fashioned pickpocketing probably WOULD be a lot more fruitful than sending incoherent emails about Viagra to women in their 30s.

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  4. One time, a chunk of cement somehow "flew" off of a dumptruck ahead of us and smashed into our fender, so your fears about driving behind heavily loaded trucks are justified, I'd say. And you would have thought that the spam emailers would have come up with a new and better strategy by now, but nope!

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    1. I think my dislike of driving behind those things originated in a news story I heard once about a driver who was killed when a forklift or some other piece of machinery fell off the flatbed in front of him... also a reason why I can't read the news.

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  5. Hilarious! I definitely go through my spam box every once in a while when I need a laugh, lol.

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