—1—
I'm re-evaluating the whole "big mom purse" concept now that I realize it means I may or may not find gelatinous produce hiding inside when I reach in to pay for my purchase at CVS.
—2—
Remember the game Operation from when you were a kid? Well, I found its evil cousin while shopping at a local kids' consignment store.
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| Brain Surgery: Feel and Find. Even the title is too much for me to handle. |
The longer I looked at it the more disturbing it got! How creepy is the smile on the girl's face as she's elbow-deep in some dude's HEAD? Look at the expression on the poor operation man! He looks horrified at what these children are doing to him as they just laaaaugh and laaaaugh.
And the "Hee, hee, that tickles!" line on the box doesn't make it any better. In fact, it just makes it look like a hasty coverup by Milton Bradley. See, kids? He likes it! Nothing to see here. Now move along, move along.
—3—
A friend of mine who is about 2,000 weeks pregnant had her baby shower. I can't believe she's still smiling; she's practically wider than she is tall.
In a somewhat bold move by the shower organizer, one of the games was cutting a string to what we thought was the circumference of my friend's pregnant belly. I won a Ghirardelli bar for being the closest.
—4—
In other news, we took a gamble on Mother Nature and lost... again.
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| Waited too long to rake the yard, now we'll have decomposing leaf-snow until May. |
This happened to us last year, too. We have a big yard and don't want to rake it multiple times, so we try to wait until the last tree (our house is pretty much surrounded by forest) has dropped its leaves but right before the first snow.
Sometimes that strategy wins, and sometimes nature calls our bluff.
—5—
Well, the turkey leftovers are gone. Time to go grocery shopping and start cooking for real again. And time to decorate for Christmas.
For me, holiday decorating with children is like baking with children. It sounds like it's going to be so much fun. They're excited about it, I'm excited about it. I have this vision in my head of us all happily humming to Christmas carols as we're trimming the tree together.
But then I actually take out the boxes, and reality sets in. The kids tear into them like a pack of wolverines and you couldn't hear a Christmas carol for your life over the sound of me yelling, "Be careful, that's breakable! Wait, keep the nativity set pieces together! We're not doing the lights yet! Stop running around with those, that garland is SHEDDING ALL OVER THE HOUSE!"
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| Pretty sure my children wrote this. |
Ten minutes later, the kids have gotten bored and left to do their own thing, and I'm hyperventilating.
—6—
Since the kids only wanted to put Christmas decorations in places where the baby will eat them or they'll catch on fire, I realized that maybe this "co-decorating" thing won't work out until they're older.
I decided to assign them smaller, more concrete tasks like setting up the Nativity. This is what I got:
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| Not positive this is what the first Christmas looked like. |
Joseph is just wandering around, one of the wise men appears to be conversing with a donkey, and baby Jesus is waaaay up there by himself in the loft in the corner of the manger. Facing the wall. Never seen that Nativity figure setup before.
—7—
On our way into the library yesterday morning, my 3-year-old stuck her finger out at a man walking in our direction and yelled, "That daddy should be at work!!!"
Since Phillip works a 9-to-5 I guess she thinks all males should do the same. The guy she accosted was an older gentleman, probably retired. I hope he felt secure in his decision, because he can't even visit the library without having it criticized by a pointing preschooler. And I thought I'd gotten some rude comments on my life choices!
(Don't worry, we'll be doing some sensitivity training next week.)
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