Friday, February 16, 2018

7 Quick Takes about Unexpectedly Edible Things, Times It's Not Worth Going the Extra Mile, and What Dinosaurs Think about Fast Food

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

1


As Phillip likes to say, I've got good news and bad news. (For the record, I hate it when he says that because I hear 'bad news' and automatically think cancer, death, or dismemberment and then I'm just mad when the actual bad news is that he forgot to pick up cheese at the store on his way home from work.)

Anyway, in this case the good news is that there's an online shoe store called "Shoebacca."

Phillip ordered some basketball shoes from there and I laughed all day at the name on the box dropped off at our doorstep.

2


The bad news is that it's been a tough week around here, hence the radio silence on the blog.

Phillip has been so sick he's basically bedridden, and I'm exhausted. It's been a busy week to pull off solo, and to be honest I'm not good at having sick family members because it totally stresses me out (I think it's my way of worrying about them.)

On Saturday the kids needed to be in two different places at the same time, so I took my son to his basketball tournament leaving instructions for my daughter to wake Phillip up to drive her to a church thing at 3.

When I checked the list of Alexa commands to our Amazon Echo that night, I noticed one of them was "Remind me at 2:50 to raise Dad from the dead."

That was pretty accurate.

3


On Sunday I was in charge of a visiting teaching conference at church. Visiting teaching is a program where every woman in the congregation is assigned to visit a few other women at least once a month to share a spiritual thought, help them with something, drop something off, whatever they need, really.

Our theme for the conference was "Bee the Difference." (As you know, this is way too cute a theme for me to have come up with on my own, but I did the executing.)

I made these centerpieces:

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}


It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

You'll notice the jars are filled with Honeycomb cereal, so when we got home after the conference my kids literally ate the centerpieces.

4


Speaking of eating things, the whole family went to see our cub scout compete in the Pinewood Derby (even Phillip roused himself from his deathbed, mostly because he was the one who knew how to run the computer program on the track.)

My kids enjoyed the race and also the activities that had been set up on the sidelines for siblings to do, like creating a race car out of wooden wheels, toothpicks, and marshmallows.

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
Halfway through the race my one-year-old got real quiet and disappeared. I found him in a corner methodically dismantling and devouring some poor innocent's car.

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
RIP, car.

5


My kids celebrated 100s Day at school (if you don't know what that is, it's the 100th day they've attended school that year and it falls around this time of year) and were asked to come wearing 100 of something.

I was prepared to do my signature "100 Cheerios strung on a necklace" thing and call it a day, but something inside me urged me to go the extra mile and do something to make my kindergartner feel extra-special.

So we searched the craft cabinet, found a bag of plastic jewels I'd forgotten about, and grabbed an old shirt to decorate.

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
If we miscounted and there aren't actually 100 of these, keep it  to yourself. I don't want to know.

Unfortunately, I burned the crap out of myself several times with the hot glue gun. Even my daughter somehow got burned, and even without the bodily injury it was a pretty tedious project.

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
If this is what a good mom looks like, it really isn't worth it.

She didn't seem as excited about making the shirt as I thought she'd be, but I figured she'd change her tune when she got to proudly wear it to school the next morning.

After she came home from 100s Day I asked how she liked having her own sparkly shirt that she'd made herself, to which she responded "I didn't really care," reminding me why I never do things like this in the first place.

6


Something our family does every Valentine's Day is write love letters to each other. That's right, each person writes a separate letter to each other person in the family. With our 8-person family, I think that works out to like 1,180,005 letters.

Since some of our kids are obviously too young to write, my 13-year-old asked the 3-year-old a bunch of questions about me and wrote down his answers.

The picture that emerged was that he's really glad I make dinner for him. When pressed for more details, he's also thankful that I make him lunch.

7


My kindergartner brought home this paper from school, with a picture of two dinosaurs having a conversation and she was asked to fill in their speech bubbles with whatever she thought they were talking about.

In hers, the first dinosaur says, "Have you ever gone to McDonald's?" and the second replies "No, I haven't."

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
Probably what the dinosaurs talked about millions of years ago.

I thought this was a pretty random subject and asked, "So why did the T-rex say he's never been to McDonald's?" She just looked at me like I was an idiot.

"Because he hasn't," came the obvious answer.

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Friday, February 9, 2018

7 Quick Takes about Clean Carpets, Definitely Not Being Worried about My Hands, and the Kids These Days

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

1


When I take my kids to the children's room at the public library, they're usually more into the train table and the coloring pages than the play kitchen, but for some reason they went all-out creating an elaborate feast for me this time.

My 6-year-old explained that food comes from either the "delicious menu" or the "gross menu," but I shouldn't worry because "this is all from the delicious menu."

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
Offerings on the "delicious menu" include grilled cinammon rolls and ice cream, evidently.

I asked her a few times which menu I usually cook from but she kept evading the question. What a tactful little lady.

2


While the kids were cleaning up their play food, I checked out a bunch of books for each of my 3 older kids.

When they get home from school I'm usually sitting upstairs making sure the little kids take their naps instead of dancing around buck-naked with lampshades on their heads (which hasn't ever happened but frankly wouldn't surprise me) so I thought it would be fun to leave out something special to welcome them home.

So I left each of their book stacks on the table with their name and a bow on it:

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

If you aren't sure whether or not your kids are abnormally obsessed with reading, knowing they'll be thrilled at a surprise like this is a pretty good clue.

3


Something that's been on my to-do list forever is having the carpets in the kids' rooms professionally cleaned. The guys who came told me that "I look like the babysitter" but took my money, anyway.

With 6 kids there were obviously some stains that are cemented into the carpet for all eternity, but when they left it looked a whole lot better and you can't deny how deeply satisfied you feel right now looking at these vacuum lines:

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

I hesitated to even move the furniture back in and start using their rooms again. In a perfect world, I would cordon off the rooms with velvet rope and just go up there every once in a while to stand in the doorways and sigh at the perfectness of it all.

4


I took my oldest four kids to see some of their friends in a production of James and the Giant Peach.

I obviously knew it was a stage play but didn't know it was a musical. Which probably sounds terrible (because how can you possibly do justice to the weird and wonderful works of Roald Dahl with music?) but actually, the songs were a perfect complement to the story.

I thoroughly enjoyed it, and so did the kids.

On a slightly different note, I've been wondering for a few years whether I had this thing called Raynaud's Phenomenon, which makes your hands hyper-sensitive to cold. It was feezing coming home from the theater, and when I got inside and took off my gloves I had my answer.

Definitely Raynaud's.

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

I've been trying not to Google it too much, because like most medical conditions Raynaud's could either be (1) nothing or (2) a sign of your imminent death.

I'm going to see my doctor, but most likely my Raynaud's is nothing more than an annoyance. There's only a slight chance of it being a symptom of an autoimmune disease that stiffens your hands into immovable, gnarled claws (yes, that's a real thing  why did I Google that?!?)

5


At school, my daughter took the Myers-Briggs personality test and gave the test to a bunch of our family members. The results totally vindicated my decision years ago to nickname the 13-year-old "Phillip 2.0" and the 11-year-old "Mini-Me."

That's right, those two are INTPs and my 11-year-old and I are INFJs.

According to this chart, only 1% of the population are INFJs like me and my daughter, and we're the rarest type.

No wonder nobody gets us.

6


At the dentist, I picked up a copy of Seventeen in the waiting room to see what the enemy was up to what these kids are into these days.

I see they're reading articles that use weird words like "inspo" instead of "inspiration," which probably isn't a good idea. The rising generation already thinks "ginormous" is an honest-to-goodness word that wasn't just made up by Will Ferrell. They have enough problems already.

Second, I kept seeing pictures of purses and shoes with these awful, huge, colorful jewels pasted haphazardly all over, looking like something a 6-year-old decorated at a birthday party. I started to wonder if one of their millennial staff writers got their hands on a Bedazzler, thought it was a new invention, and went totally nuts.

Third, it looks like the chunky heel of the 20-year-old shoes I just got around to throwing out is back in style again?? I can't even with this generation. Just blech.

7


On a final note, I'd just like to say that this picture makes me sad:

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

Oh, to be young again and be blissfully ignorant of the dangers of eating raw flour.

P.S: I totally still do it. I was just more blissful.


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Wednesday, February 7, 2018

5+ Uses for the Jacuzzi Tub You Haven't Used Since You Bought the House

When we were touring our current house with our realtor, I remember peeking in the master bathroom like the wide-eyed first-time homebuyers we were and feeling a flutter of excitement at seeing the built-in Jacuzzi tub. In my mind, there could hardly be anything more luxurious or sophisticated.

It didn't help that we were coming from a tiny one-bathroom apartment the size of a postage stamp whose shower was constantly littered with bath toys.

And thus, we let ourselves fall prey to the most common mistake ever made when purchasing a home: kidding yourself for even a second that you'll ever use the Jacuzzi tub because HELLO YOU'VE GOT CHILDREN.

Luckily, we've been able to find plenty of other uses for ours:

A Drying Rack for Diapers


Cloth diapering is economical, and thanks to a built-in Jacuzzi, super-convenient! The edge is the perfect place to hang all the many, many diapers to dry. If you don't cloth diaper, don't worry because that's only the beginning. Your Jacuzzi also doubles as...

A Place to Drape Your Sweaty, Gross Workout Clothes


Throwing damp clothes into the hamper is a bad idea, but a Jacuzzi is great for hanging your perspiration-soaked sports bra and yoga pants until the next time your friend asks you to come to her kickboxing class and like an idiot, you say yes.

Hiding Place for Your Junk when Company Comes Over


When you get the dreaded "Hey, I'm in the neighborhood, I'll see you in a few minutes" text, just grab as many armfuls as you can, dump them in the tub, and close the door. The tub also makes a nice permanent storage facility for all the things you don't want the baby to get into, FYI.

I was naive to buy a house with a built-in whirpool tub in the master bath. As if I'd use it for anything other than hanging sweaty running clothes.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

Soaking Clothes after Pee Accidents and Bloody Noses


If there's one thing kids generate a lot of, it's clothes soiled with bodily fluids (is it theirs? someone else's? who knows.) The simplest solution is to throw those yucky clothes in the tub to soak and forget about them! Actually, since no one ever actually uses their Jacuzzi you have to be careful about that: trust me, you don't want to be known as the neighbors whose stagnant water brought malaria back to the culdesac.

Scrubbing Floor Rugs


In a way I was right in thinking I'd be spending a lot of time with the Jacuzzi tub; I just envisioned myself inside it, not kneeling next to it with a bristle brush in my hands. Basically, the Jacuzzi I was so excited about all those years ago is in reality a glorified wash basin. It's where I scour my shower curtains, clean my oven racks, and scrub my floor rugs. The 5' runner on our kitchen floor has spent way more time in that tub than I ever will.


Before you get me wrong, I'm not saying that Jacuzzi tubs are a terrible idea. I'm not even saying you should never buy a house that has one.

I just want you to adjust your expectations a little, and realize you're going to appreciate your state-of-the-art Jacuzzi not so much as your own personal spa, but more as an escape-proof place for your kids to play with the hamster. That's all.

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Monday, February 5, 2018

Why You Shouldn't Feel Bad About Doing the Bare Minimum

After church ends at 4:00 P.M., sometimes our whole congregation stays afterward for a potluck meal. (We call them "linger longers," because Mormons like to give things cutesy names sometimes.)

Our most recent linger longer had a theme: "Breakfast for Dinner."

We were all supposed to bring a breakfast food item to share, and as the bishop announced it over the pulpit he made sure to point out that boxed cereal is absolutely a breakfast food, meaning we were free to bring that.

Ignoring that part of the announcement, I made a mental note to sit down and do some brainstorming later. 

I'd have to pick out a recipe and think of a way to keep it warm during church until the linger longer, or choose something that was supposed to be served cold.

Then I'd have to make a trip to the grocery store at some point during the week, and carve out some time on Saturday to make something.

But during the busy week, meal planning for the linger longer got lost in the shuffle of running to the dentist, gymnastics, preschool, basketball, and orchestra. Time got away from me and before I knew it, it was Saturday.

Not only did I have no idea what to make for tomorrow, I had no ingredients and more importantly, no time or energy to do anything with them even if I did.

Completely distressed, I poured out all my problems to Phillip, who shrugged and said, "I can pick up cereal on my way home from the kids' basketball games."

I didn't even know how to answer. Cereal? Was he kidding?

My horror must have been written all over my face because he said, "The bishop said we could bring cereal. We're bringing cereal."

"No, no no no," I shook my head furiously. "I thought maybe we'd make a quiche or cinnamon rolls or something-"

Gathering up his keys and heading out the door, he said over his shoulder, "We're bringing cereal."

Words cannot convey the depths of my discomfort with this idea.

Didn't Phillip understand that Cap'n Crunch was a second-rate backup plan for people who couldn't manage to bring something real?? That advice did not apply to us, and more specifically, to me. I should be able to make something fancy for this linger longer, even if it killed me.

Until now, I didn't even realize that this kind of internal dialogue goes on in my head all the time. 

With 6 kids ranging from a baby to a teenager this is the busiest, craziest season I've ever lived through, and my need for convenience has never been greater. And yet the storebought valentines, the boxed dinner, the bakery cookies from the grocery store for the school bake sale  I tell myself those aren't good enough.

Except that sometimes, they are.

The bishop wasn't giving everyone but me permission to bring cereal. He was talking to me. I was not the exception to the rule.

In the end, bringing boxes of cold cereal to the linger longer was fine. There were, of course, people who had the time and energy to bake delicious French toast squares or whip up a batch of homemade granola from scratch. And there were others who, like me, brought cereal.

And together, we made a fantastic meal. Maybe in another season of life I'll be in a position to bring a stack of gourmet buttermilk scones on actual china. Maybe, but not right now.

If you find yourself in the same position as me, overloaded and stressed-out but still feeling the need to go above and beyond because you don't think doing things the easy way "counts," I have one piece of advice for you: just bring the dang cereal.

It's going to be fine.

You don't always have to go above and beyond, even if you feel like you should. And yes, I am talking to you.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

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Friday, February 2, 2018

7 Quick Takes about New Insights, Phillip's New Cookie Alarm, and How My Life Is Sort of Like Gorillas in the Mist

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

1


There's still a lot of finger-pointing going on as to who brought it home, but we've been pretty sick around here. Some are totally fine, but the 1-year-old has croup (again!) and my 11-year-old was out of school for 4 out of 5 days this week and completely lost her voice.

She made a valiant effort to carry on like normal even without functioning vocal chords, though. When her siblings started up a card game that involves playing a card or saying 'pass' each round, she drew up a handmade sign reading "PASS" taped to a paint stirring stick so she could join in.

That was a funny-looking game.

2


My 13-year-old gave a talk in church on Sunday and not only did she look exceptionally confident for standing up in front of 200 people, she also had some excellent scriptural insights that hadn't occurred to me before.

She told the story of Jesus and the woman taken in adultery found in John 8: 3-11. I'd always read it as a cautionary tale against judging others, focusing on the Pharisees and how they all disappeared with their tails between their legs when Jesus told them "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."

We shouldn't throw shade because nobody's perfect, right?

But my daughter pointed out something I'd never really thought about before: there actually was someone perfect there. Jesus had never sinned, and by his own statement if anyone was justified in punishing her, he was. Instead he told her to "go, and sin no more."

That story still teaches me not to judge others. But even more than that, I now think of it as a story that defines Christ's mercy better than any dictionary could.

3


Phillip loves running with the new Garmin watch he got for Christmas. It can tell you how far you've gone, your average speed, and even if you need to speed up or slow down to meet your goal.

(Unfortunately for him, it doesn't tell you which houses have mean dogs that will bite you as you run past, but I guess you live and learn.)

He wears it around all day, actually, and when he's been sedentary for too long it buzzes to tell him he needs to move. I personally think that would be annoying, but I did find it funny the other night when it buzzed at him just before dessert. It's like his fitness watch was telling him to get up and go get cookies.

4


Co-op preschool was at my house this week. We explored the letter T and talked about trains; we also made this cute train out of our snack.

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

As I was giving instructions on how to do it, one of the 4-year-olds interrupted me with an important news bulletin: "Um, your nose looks kind of pointy."

I couldn't blame her because (1) she's 4 and 4-year-olds like to go around telling overweight strangers at the grocery store they look like they have babies in their tummies, (2) she was looking at me in profile, and (3) yes, I do.

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?
A semi-blurry photo for reference from Thanksgiving.

However, I kind of like my nose (even if it does photobomb the corners of many a picture.) Plus, according to this weird article I found online, it means I'm going to have a great time in my 40s. Whatever that means.

5


When we read the scriptures as a family before bed my 3-year-old likes to "read a verse" by having us say a few words at a time and repeating them after us.

I was helping him with 1 Nephi 17: 50 which basically says when God commands you to do something, He'll help you accomplish that thing and "it will be done."

My 3-year-old confidently finished the verse with what he thought he'd heard me say, which was "and it wouldn't be dumb."

Well, that too.

6


So I got this apple at the grocery store.

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

It was like opening up a bag of produce and finding John Travolta inside.

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?
photo by Caroline Bonarde Ucci

I almost asked it for an autograph. I haven't seen Look Who's Talking since I was a kid but I remember thinking it was totally funny.

7


My preschooler asked me to read a book in the living room but warned, "There's water on the couch."

I saw water droplets on the sofa, but since that's certainly not the weirdest or the biggest mess I've seen in the living room, I didn't think anything of it.

Until we were sitting there reading and I started to feel more mist falling on me. I looked up to see the 1-year-old standing on the balcony overlooking our two-story living room, methodically spraying water from the bathroom spray bottle over the railing.

I have to say it looked pretty fun, and unlike when I forbid him to eat things from the trash, I completely understood his frustration when I took it away.

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Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Things I Must Look Remarkably Similar To

When I look in the mirror, I see a moderately decent-looking 35-year-old woman with hair down to her shoulders and, probably, a couple of kids hanging off her elbows wailing about snacks.

But I must also look a lot like these 6 objects, because honestly? Sometimes I don't even think my kids can tell us apart.


A mother isn't just a woman. She's also a Kleenex, a jungle gym, and a trash can - according to her kids, anyway.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

A Kleenex


For starters, I must look like a walking, talking, full-sized facial tissue. My very presence calls to my kid: Come to me, children, and smear all your troubles straight into the folds of my clothing. Actually, I wish it was just my clothes. The other day I was holding my 1-year-old who quite unapologetically picked his nose and wiped it on my collarbone.

A mother isn't just a woman. She's also a Kleenex, a jungle gym, and a trash can - according to her kids, anyway.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

A Jungle Gym


I also bear an uncanny resemblance to a piece of playground equipment. I know because I can rarely cook dinner or walk across the room without someone crawling up my leg or clinging to me like a baby capuchin monkey. I seem to look especially like a jungle gym whenever I lie down or open my laptop.

A mother isn't just a woman. She's also a Kleenex, a jungle gym, and a trash can - according to her kids, anyway.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

A Napkin


After a full meal when you are quite literally dripping with grease and sauce, who better to run straight to than a human napkin? My kids are sure that I am the best place to rub their food-covered faces, and definitely not the curious little squares of tissue I keep putting next to their plates every time we eat for some reason.

A mother isn't just a woman. She's also a Kleenex, a jungle gym, and a trash can - according to her kids, anyway.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

A Pack Mule


When we drive up to the house after a busy afternoon, my kids are in luck because there just so happens to be a woman with them who is clearly a pack mule. It doesn't matter that I'm already struggling to carry 6 grocery bags, my overflowing purse, a stack of mail, a grumpy toddler, and random toys and socks I found in the car; my kids will still ask if I can hold the stick they brought home from the park. I need saddlebags.

A mother isn't just a woman. She's also a Kleenex, a jungle gym, and a trash can - according to her kids, anyway.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

A Vending Machine


About 50% of my children's sentences are a variation of "Can I have a snack?" Even if we're in the car with no food, my kids won't accept any excuses. They look at me blankly and continue requesting snacks. We could be the lone survivors of a plane crash, trying to reach civilization from the middle of the Sahara Desert, and I would still be expected to produce Goldfish and juice boxes on request.

A mother isn't just a woman. She's also a Kleenex, a jungle gym, and a trash can - according to her kids, anyway.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

A Dumpster


Because I look just like a dumpster, I'm the kids' go-to choice when they need to dispose of their granola bar wrappers, sucker sticks, or partially-chewed food they decided they didn't like anymore. I look so similar to a giant trash receptacle they can hardly be blamed for the mix-up, which I remind myself when they hold out a used Band-Aid and say "Can you take this?"


My kids' eyesight might need a little improving, because they seem to mistake me for quite a few objects that I'm pretty sure I'm not. But I think I'll keep them. Because, after all, I love them more than anything.

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Monday, January 29, 2018

Never, Never Have I Ever...

Have you ever heard of the game "Never Have I Ever?" It's harder than you might think to come up with mildly interesting things that you've never in your life done.

But after writing some facts you probably didn't know about me and one "Never Have I Ever" post of my own, I thought it was time for another. Any of these things that you've never done, either?

Can you say you've never done these in your life, either? Take the bonus quiz and see how you score!

Never, Never Have I Ever...


... had a car loan. I'm frugal to a fault, and the only debt we have is our mortgage which will be paid off when I'm 45. (I'm practically counting the days, I hate debt.) We currently own a commuter car and a minivan, both of which were purchased used and paid for in cash. We fully expect to drive them both into the ground and then sell the unusable heaps to the junkyard for $40 like we did our first car.

Can you say you've never done these in your life, either? Take the bonus quiz and see how you score!
Use it up, wear it out, make do, or do without. Goodbye, blue car.

... broken a bone. I've had other medical emergencies including an emergency C-section and a brain surgery (which I don't count because my skull was opened with precision by a trained professional versus being "broken,") but so far no broken bones. Actually, my whole family has been really lucky in this regard. The kids seem to prefer smacking their heads on coffee tables, rocks, etc. and getting stitches.

... sewed something from a pattern. I can use a sewing machine and sew straight lines. I'm actually great at straight lines. I've personally made every single curtain in our house because I can get exactly what I want and it's way cheaper. But I have no idea how to read a sewing pattern. Those things look like crazy topographical maps made out of tissue paper and I do not trust them.

... bought a Magic Eraser. Every mom I know swears by them. I mean every one. I asked. I hear Magic Eraser lives up to its name and actually is magical in its disaster removing properties. I'm not sure why I've never used one. I think at this point it's just become a pride issue.

... been to a pop concert. Orchestra concerts, yes. I've been to lots of them, and my daughter is an amazing violinist so I expect to go to lots more before I die. But I've never heard anyone in concert that you'd hear, say on the radio. I don't even think I'd know how to act at one.

... rented a birthday party place for my kid. Every time I get one of those flyers I think "it would be pretty convenient, maybe I should just look into it." When I regain consciousness after seeing the price of renting out The Little Gym for 90 minutes (which, coincidentally, is the same amount as our entire family's food budget for a couple of weeks) I remember I can throw a party at home or at the park for $40 and call it a day.

... cooked a turkey. I married up, and I say that because Phillip is our holiday and fancy occasion cook. We have the tastiest Thanksgiving dinners in the world and all I do is wash the dishes afterward. Seriously, look at this:

Can you say you've never done these in your life, either? Take the bonus quiz and see how you score!
I'm not even going to mention the Thanksgiving pies. You'd all die of jealousy.

Sorry ladies, he's all mine.

... watched a Superbowl game. You will never meet a person more disinterested in sports than me. We lived in New England for like 5 years before I figured out which sport was played by the Red Sox and which one was the Patriots. And a few more before I could remember if football was the Superbowl or the World Series. Frankly, it's really hard to sit through one of my own kids' sporting events without going catatonic by the end. Watching a bunch of strangers play? Blech, no.

... ridden in a limo. Just never done it. I guess I don't have those kinds of friends. I think I went to prom in my friend's dad's Toyota.

... donated blood. I want to be the kind of person the Red Cross can depend on to save lives, but I just can't. I fainted when they took a tiny tube of blood for the lab at a physical once; not only was it awkward to wake up on the bathroom floor staring up at the light thinking I'd been abducted by aliens, but it scarred me for life. Sometimes I think I should try; other times I remember that I also passed out once when I cut my finger deeply washing the dishes.

(For the record, I'm fine with blood as long as it comes from OTHER people. The odd emergency where one of my kids stumbles in bleeding doesn't faze me in the slightest.)

... bought Kleenex. Except for sending them to school when they're on the supply list, I've never purchased facial tissue. Our family isn't that fancy. When you need to blow your nose, you go get a few squares of toilet paper from the bathroom and take care of it. If you're sick, you just plonk a whole roll of Charmin on your nightstand. Of course, I think my younger kids would just use their sleeves regardless so the point is kind of moot.


Looking for more Never Have I Evers? You can find the original post here to learn about 10 more things I've never done, or you can take this Never Have I Ever: Mom Edition quiz below. If you like it, remember to pin it and leave a comment with your score!

What was your score? I got a 1. Click for more Never Have I Evers and see how you stack up.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

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