—1—
It's been a really long week, because we got some very sad news over the weekend: my dad passed away unexpectedly.
He was actually supposed to come visit us with my stepmom next week, and now we'll be flying there for his memorial service instead.
I've been asked to write his obituary, and although I've been writing for my whole life in some fashion or another this is definitely an intimidating assignment. I hope I'll be able to write something fitting. He was a great doctor, a generous dad, and a loving grandpa that the kids all adored.
—2—
The day after we got the news that my dad had died, we went to our Google photo album and used the face ID feature to comb through pictures and videos of Grandpa throughout the years.
It was actually not a sad experience like I thought it might be, it actually made me really happy to see all the fun things we've done together.
The photo ID feature was surprisingly good, it even included pictures where my dad was half turned away from the camera or not even completely in the shot. I did have one question, though. And that question is: WHAT THE HECK, GOOGLE PHOTOS?
I mean, I get that my dad and I have the same nose because that's how genetics works, but come on. He's got a goatee. That's just mean.
If you have 17 minutes, watch this amazing TED talk:
It's about parenting for comfort (the kids' comfort, that is) versus parenting for confidence. The latter includes letting them be uncomfortable, sometimes on purpose.
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—3—
Phillip was in France for work this week of all weeks, and he was willing to come home if we needed him but I told him we could manage. The kids are older now, old enough to understand that they really need to pitch in so I can get through this really tough week, and they did. We did it. I'm proud of us.
There was also an outpouring of love and offers of support from friends in town or people at church, and I know I'm an introvert because two that stood out in my mind the most are:
- My friend who hung a bag of sympathy treats for me on the doorknob without ringing the doorbell so I didn't have to talk to anyone
- Someone at church who came up to me and said "You don't have to say anything, I just want to give you a hug" and then hugged me and immediately left
To be clear, I do like to talk to people, I just prefer to do it when I'm ready and not necessarily when I'm approached in public unprepared.
—4—
The weirdest thing about losing someone you love is that life doesn't stop, so even though it feels weird to post about random takes that happened throughout the week, that was our reality: moments of grief mixed with moments of ordinariness, and I'm trying to get a handle on that.
I spotted a hawk landing on a branch in our backyard with some prey it had caught, and my boys ran and got a monocular to watch it eat.
Right from the comfort of our living room. It's like we live in a wildlife preserve.
—5—
PSA for the people who design everything in the world now: just because you can do something using technology doesn't mean that you have to. Or even that you should. Sometimes it's just annoying.
I used to be able to plug my headphones into my phone and music would instantly come out of them; now I have to troubleshoot the Bluetooth every time I want to listen to something.
I used to be able to adjust the A/C dials in the car by touch, but then someone really smart decided it was a better idea for everything to be touchscreen so we have to take our eyes off the road all the time.
This week, I was in Walmart buying a replacement headlight bulb for the van, and for some reason they had the bulbs in a locked case. Of course, the "key" is now digital: they open the app on their phone, point it at the lock, and it opens. Unless there are technical difficulties and the employee tries to open the case looking like a wand-waving wizard for 5 minutes and nothing happens.
I was standing there staring at the lightbulb I want, 6 inches in front of my face, but I had to leave the store and just come back another day. What was wrong with the physical key? Nothing. Nothing was wrong with it!
I was born in the 1900s and it shows.
—6—
My 6th grader sometimes walks to the public library after school and hangs out in the teen room. He recently stopped wanting to go, and a few days later he told me it was because the other kids started playing Grand Theft Auto on the Xbox there and it was making him uncomfortable.
Initially, I just sympathized with him and let it go. Stuff like that happens all the time: our family just has different standards for what we do on Sundays or what kind of clothes we wear or the language we use, and sometimes it's hard to be different but that's the way it is. So it wasn't until about a week later that I was sitting at a red light and all of a sudden realized: "Wait a minute. None of those kids should be playing Grand Theft Auto. Why is there a M-rated game in the room for kids 13-17?"
So I went in to talk to the librarians about it. Apparently they had a Game Pass subscription but never enabled content filters. And now that I talked to them about it, they did.
I'm sure the other kids will be thrilled when they head to the library this spring after the long-awaited release of Grand Theft Auto VI. #sorrynotsorry
—7—
It's about parenting for comfort (the kids' comfort, that is) versus parenting for confidence. The latter includes letting them be uncomfortable, sometimes on purpose.
The speaker happens to work with kids who have specific phobias, but this is advice that's applicable to all kids: maybe you just don't get them a cell phone or the name brand water bottle or whatever it is that "everyone" has. Even if you could do it, sometimes you just... don't. It's good for them.
Raising confident kids is a topic close to my heart, so if you want more practical tips head over to this article next and pick out a few you'd like to try depending on how old your kids are!
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