7 Quick Takes about How We're All Housecats, Parking Lot Naps, and Daily Schedules I Won't Be Using

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week? 

—1—

This summer, my parents want to fly our kids out to stay with them for 9 days. They've done it before with just the older ones, but this time they're taking all of them.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

It means that Phillip and I will be alone in the house for over a week. No school pickups or soccer dropoffs or rides to a friend's house. No worrying about anyone except ourselves for over a week. We are still trying to wrap our heads around this information.

"What do you want to do while the kids are gone?" Phillip keeps asking me. And I tell him I don't know. We are indoor cats that have escaped outside: we don't know what to do with our newfound freedom and will probably end up just hiding under the porch until someone comes to get us.

—2—

I've more or less adjusted to the 50-minute round trip it takes to drop my son off at his new gymnastics gym, but sometimes it's a hard drive to make when I'm sleepy. I get the same highway hypnosis as when we're on a road trip.

One day this week I got so tired on the drive there, that I dropped him off and then pulled into the parking lot to take a nap in the van. 

Unfortunately, I only slept for 10 minutes before the pediatrician's office called to make an appointment for one of the kids.

—3—

Our 13-year-old daughter realized that next year her older brother will be graduating, and then she'll be the oldest in the house. They do a lot of goofing around, watching Marvel movies, and other teenage shenanigans I probably don't want to know about.

"It's going to be so boring!" she wailed. 

I pointed out "You've still got two younger brothers, you know, and they do grow up. Like, your older brother thought he'd be bored when the girls left for college, but now you're older and he hangs out with you. By the time he leaves, your younger brother will be older and then the two of you will hang out."

From the other room, the younger brother called out, "Yuck!"

Like I said, there's still some maturing to be done.

—4—

The other evening Phillip and I grabbed the 9- and 11-year-olds and took them on a slightly more successful fishing trip. 

One son caught two fish, and the other reeled in a fish but it escaped from his line as he was being pulled out of the water. Somehow I broke the reel of the fishing pole Phillip has had since he was 15, though. I wasn't even fishing, he just handed it to me to hold for a second while his hands were full.

—5—

ChatGPT is great for some things, but I'm finding that it's not as great for others. I recently watched a TED talk about time management that I couldn't quite figure out how to apply to my own life, so I talked it over with ChatGPT, fed it my to-do list, and asked it to make me a schedule. 

It came up with something that had me waking up at 6AM, didn't account for meals, and shrunk tasks to the time available regardless of whether it was realistic.

At the same time, Phillip was asking ChatGPT to help him design a training plan to reach his current running goal. On the first day, he practically collapsed and died trying to follow its instructions, which is exactly what would've happened to me if I'd tried to follow the to-do schedule it gave me.

I guess if you ask ChatGPT to do something, it will find a way to do it, whether it makes sense or not. Once, our daughter asked it "How many P's are in the word 'mayonnaise'?" and it kept telling her random numbers. It would only say there weren't any if she asked "Are there any P's in the word 'mayonnaise'?"

—6—

We've gotten a family gym membership for the summer, but it's not turning out to be anything like we thought it would be. 

When we signed up for the membership, we had two kids in mind who we thought would particularly love it. As it turns out, those two kids only go when we plant the idea inception-like in their minds earlier in the day. 

Meanwhile, another of our kids has surprised us by loving it so much that they go 6 days a week on their own volition and will bike there if there's not a car available. The staff all recognizes this child and just waves them in like a celebrity without asking for their membership information. 

Parenting is always a surprise, no matter how well you think you know your kids.

—7—

This has been quite a week. End-of-year everything has been happening. Recitals. Field trips. Finals. Graduation parties. Class teacher gifts. I helped spearhead a youth fundraiser at church to raise money for camp. We got our piano tuned and I had lunch with an old friend who's in town for a few days. 

Next week the kids are finally done with all of it, and then we will begin a different kind of crazy when everyone is home all the time and leaving their dirty dishes everywhere. Wish me luck!

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7 Quick Takes about a Permanent Case of the Flu, Tricking the Cats and Dogs, and Asking ChatGPT to Talk Down to You

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week? 

—1—

All I've done this week is be sick. It sucks. The flu I thought I was over last week? That was false spring. 

I'm still hacking phlegm out of my throat most of the day, and I think I woke up with pinkeye this morning.

My husband, checking up on me from work.

I get about 5% better every day, but at this rate I'm going to be sick until July.

—2—

I just learned that woodpeckers have long tongues that wrap completely around their brain to protect it while they're hammering away at trees all day. 

Call me crazy, but I'm jealous. I've had a headache all week just from coughing so much. Do you know how much I could have used a built-in shock absorber?

—3—

I feel like I missed an opportunity by not writing down all the weird ways my kids have described various ailments and injuries for me to interpret over the years. 

One of my kids got hit in the throat with a lacrosse ball at school this week and when they got home and I asked how it was, they said, "My throat feels sparkly." I don't know what to do with that.

—4—

A friend who doesn't have a car right now found a mass on her cat, so she asked if I would give them a ride to the vet. The ride was short and I wore a mask, so hopefully she and her cat don't get the plague.

At the vet's office, attached to the ramp leading to the front door was a banner covered in smiling pets that said "this way for treats!" 

If Mittens were smart, she'd take one look at the banner and be like "Nope, this is 100% Hansel and Gretel. Turn the car around."

I thought for a split-second that it was funny they were luring the pets in with treats, but then I started laughing because pets can't read. Maybe they're trying to trick the owners?

—5—

Due to sleeping like garbage all week because I was sick, I finished the last several hours of my audiobook sleepytime reading of Pride and Prejudice, and loved it.

Now I'm looking for the best movie or TV adaptation to watch, and it seems like it comes down to the 1995 BBC series or the 2005 movie with Keira Knightly. 

It seems like the BBC series is the most faithful to the novel and the time period, but it's long. The movie is pretty with a lovely score and cinematography, but some of the things that made the novel great were lost while trying to make it palatable for a 21st century audience. (In the words of one person on Reddit, it was "okay, but Keira Knightly has the face of someone who knows what a cell phone is.")

So... I guess I'll just have to watch both.

—6—

I finally got my new mouthguard for nighttime teeth clenching, and it's amazing. I've scraped by with over-the-counter guards for years, not wanting to spend the money for a dentist-made custom one (which my insurance doesn't cover, by the way), but the OTC ones weren't cutting it anymore.

I decided to gamble on a mail-in custom guard that is a quarter of the price and had a money-back guarantee. It's been two nights and I can tell that it really helps, and it's way more comfortable than anything else I've ever used.

—7—

We're almost finished with school here. My 7th grader says she has good grades except for one okayish grade in math. She explained that she has a hard time with the format of some of the quizzes and the teacher's explanations aren't helping.

"I'm not the right person to ask, but your dad and your older sister are both great at explaining math," I said. "Or, if they're not around you can also ask ChatGPT. And then ask followup questions about what it says."

"Like, 'I'm pretty stupid, can you explain it dumber?'" She asked.

Yes, actually. In fact, I often start learning about something new by asking ChatGPT to explain it to me like I'm 5, and then go from there.

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