7 Quick Takes about Breaking and Entering, Wasting Electricity, and When a 7-Year-Old Estimates Life Expectancy

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

—1—

In an unlikely sequence of events, Phillip and I accidentally locked the keys in the car. Both sets of keys, actually, which was the unlikely part. At least it was parked in our garage at home where it was just an inconvenience and not in a parking lot somewhere where it would've been an emergency.

Phillip successfully slid in a coat hanger to unlock the door (which is definitely not as easy as YouTube makes it look), but it didn't work. We were literally standing outside the window watching the coat hanger depress the unlock button, and it didn't work. 

We didn't know what else to do, so we called a locksmith to get the car unlocked. It was easily one of the least fun ways to spend $100. 

—2—

The locksmith came earlier in the morning than I expected, when I was still dropping off my teenagers and our foreign exchange student at school. But since the garage door was open and we'd already told him what we wanted him to do, he got right to work. 

So when I came home, there was a stranger in my garage breaking into my car. An open bag of tools was beside him and had pried open the driver's side door just enough to jam a Slim Jim inside. And I just waved to him and said "Good morning!" Life is weird.

—3—

Over the weekend, my 15-year-old went to a Halloween party. It was a costume party, and he was going as Dr. Nefario from Despicable Me. 

He arranged to meet a friend at the CVS between our houses, and his friend's parents would drive them both to the party. But because we were down one car (see Take #1) and another family member had to be somewhere else at the same time, we dropped him off a little early to wait... while wearing his lab coat, rubber boots and gloves, and steampunk goggles.

On the way there I'd been joking about the funny looks he'd get while he stood there dressed as a mad scientist, but I was wrong. Leaning against the wall of CVS in his white lab coat, he looked just like a pharmacist on his smoke break and no one gave him a second glance at all.

—4—

The kids and I went on a nature walk, where I took an artsy-looking photo. If this were in a gallery, I would call it The Teenager in Nature:

Please note how his eyeballs are glued to the cell phone in his hands.

To my credit, my 15-year-old says he was looking at the panoramic photo he just took of the scenery. But still.

—5—

We have a foreign exchange student from Spain staying with us for a total of two weeks. When I first told Paula I was learning Spanish, she immediately asked "What have you learned? Like, what can you say?" 

Of course my mind went absolutely blank and the only thing I could say was "I speak a little Spanish." I don't think she was very impressed. But since then we've had a few more Spanish conversations (only a few, because that's not really why she's here) and her initial opinion has improved. 

In fact, I overheard my 17-year-old commenting on the differences between Paula's Spanish and mine, and Paula told her "Yeah, that's because your mom has a Latin-American accent" which is exactly what I was going for so YES.

—6—

 

It's been a week with Paula at our house, and now that everyone (including her) is comfortable and no longer on their bestest behavior, it's both a good thing and a bad thing. But overall, it's fun and we're enjoying doing life together. 

At family dinner one night, we were asking Paula about the differences between life here and life in Spain, and the first thing she said was "Here, you leave all the lights on... like, is it free?"

You should have seen the piercing looks Phillip and I shot the kids. And how the kids avoided making eye contact with us at all costs.

—7—

 

At a recent lasagna potluck function at the school, my 7-year-old ate a ton. He has been growing so much lately that sometimes I swear he's visibly taller from one week to the next.

"You've been growing a lot. Are you going to be taller than Daddy?" I asked him.

He considered it for a moment before answering "He'll probably be dead by then" and shoveling another forkful of lasagna into his mouth.

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