7 Quick Takes about Burritos in their Natural Habitats, Pitfalls of Internet Dating, and the Way to a Perfectly Poached Posterior

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

—1—

Phillip's sister Jenny (yes, it gets confusing with two Jennys in the family) came out to stay with us for Thanksgiving. 

The kids would understandably be excited to see any living person right about now, but they're especially thrilled to be hanging out with Aunt Jenny. I can hardly pull them away to listen to me or do anything resembling online school.

Occasionally, she gets called "Grandma," but that's kind of a compliment, the way sweet elementary school teachers inevitably get called "Mom." We just don't get that many non-Grandma visitors who are so thrilled to see them.

—2—

Once Jenny got her negative COVID test and we were officially free to roam the state, we decided to go visit an arboretum.

While we were getting our circus packed in the car, one of the younger kids kept hearing us say 'arboretum' and finally asked, "What's a burritum?"

So for the rest of the day, the joke was that we were going to the burrito garden to look at the burrito trees. 

At this point in the fall, there weren't any leaves (or burritos) left on the branches, but it was still a pretty place to spend an afternoon.

—3—

My teenager introduced me to an online video game called Among Us. The premise is that you're part of a crew on a spaceship, trying to figure out which one of you is the impostor. The impostor goes around sabotaging and picking off members of the crew (it's cartoon violence, but I wouldn't let kids younger than 12 play) before you vote him/her off the ship.

The older kids were allowed to stay up late one night and we all (the three kids, Phillip, me, and the other Jenny) started a game of Among Us. We technically have enough people for a game, but it's fun with more people so we created a public game and waited for a few random stragglers from the Internet to join us.

One of them, whose screen name was Lily, sent a message to the group: "im 13 does anyone want to date me" 

We ultimately ignored the comment, but I think it would've been funny for Phillip to message back, "I'm 40, Lily. It's time for you to go to bed."

Although it's quite possible Lily was a 40-year-old man, too, which would just about sum up everything we know about the Internet.

—4—

It's that time of year again: the 3rd grade science class is done with their unit studying crayfish, and they are sending them home with students.

On Tuesday, our 9-year-old came off the bus carrying a Tupperware container in both hands, proudly announcing, "I named him Fred!" (She later informed me it's spelled P-H-R-E-D-D.)

I have to say that Phredd is a little terrifying, even for a crayfish. First off, he's twice as big and beefy as the other school crayfish my older daughters brought home in previous years, and he's clearly a fighter since he came to us missing a claw.

I think crayfish can regrow their pincers with some otherworldly regeneration powers, though, at which point he'll probably break out of his tank and sneak into my room to harm me in my sleep.

—5—

My boys' room was particularly messy, so I had the idea to play "red light, green light" to get my 4- and 6-year-olds to clean it up. 

When I covered my eyes and said "Green light!" they put away toys as fast as they could, and when I uncovered my eyes and said "Red light!" they had to stop cleaning and be as still as statues.

It was hilarious watching them freeze in place when I called "red light," and even more hilarious when one of them tooted and my 4-year-old, standing rooted to the spot, said seriously, "Farting doesn't count."

—6—

We bought a minivan in July and one feature that I absolutely love is the heated seats. I've been using them daily since early October since I get cold so easily.

The kids are also enjoying the heated seats — not so much using them, but inventing names for them. A few I can recall off the top of my head include:

• The Booty Broiler
• The Tushy Toaster
• The Rump Roaster
• The Heiny Heater
• The Fanny Fryer

Please, someone stop my children.

—7—

Our Thanksgiving was great, thanks for asking. 

Jenny gave me a delicious cream cheese and jalapeño-cranberry dip recipe that I might make and eat once a week for the rest of my life now, and Phillip outdid himself making a fantastic feast like he does every year.

This father-daughter hug sort of looks like he's holding our daughter back from diving face-first into the turkey, which he probably should've been doing because it was that tasty.

Now begins the Weekend of Pies, which is a Thanksgiving tradition we look forward to every year. 

Each day Phillip makes a new pie: this year our plan is apple on Thursday, pumpkin on Friday, pecan on Saturday, and strawberry cream on Sunday. What's your favorite kind of pie?

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