—1—
I was combing through YouTube, looking for a cleanup song that might motivate certain sluggish children. Anyone else ever done that? 99% of what I found was of the insipid "clean up, clean up, everybody, everywhere" variety, but I also stumbled across a diamond in the rough:
This cleanup rap was punctuated with comments like "Stop lookin' at me crazy, LET'S GO!" and "All these pictures of clean houses on the Internet... I'm like, These people don't have kids!"
When he lost it at the end and started crying and begging the kids to just pick up SOMETHING, I knew I'd found something special. I don't know this guy, but I feel like we're living the same life.
—2—
We went to the beach and one of the kids needed me to take them to the bathroom. A row of Port-a-Potties had just been trucked in for some event happening at the beach the next day, so with a heavy heart I took my child's hand and walked toward them.
For the record, I hate taking kids inside a Port-a-Potty. They touch everything and take forever and insist on holding a 5-minute long Q&A session about the fecal matter they can see down the hole and I'm gagging right now even thinking about it.
But this time, it was different. It was brand-spanking new: we watched a guy snip the zip ties holding the doors shut as we approached. And it was SO CLEAN. There were no smells. Nothing nasty on the floor or seat. Nothing of interest in the toilet for my kid to hold a press conference about. I never thought I'd say this about visiting a Port-a-Potty, but it was an amazing experience.
After we walked out I looked back and saw that my toddler had tracked a bunch of mud in there and it looked every bit as gross as the Port-a-Potties I so dread entering. So it doesn't take long, I guess.
—3—
I think God wants Phillip to stop traveling for work, because lately his trips have been kind of a disaster. Last week he was in Michigan and missed his flight home, and there wasn't another one until Saturday morning. When he showed up on Saturday morning, it was so foggy they kept delaying the flight for hours and hours until they finally canceled it altogether.
He tried again on Sunday. After the first time he went through security he was told his carryon bag full of work equipment was "too heavy" and "could be used as a blunt object" so he had to go back and check it, and both times he went through security he was randomly selected to have his hands wiped for traces of explosives.
Then he remembered his car keys in his carryon and went back to retrieve them just in case something happened to his bag, and on the way back through security he was randomly selected for the explosive wipes a third time.
After another delay, his flight got in around 10:30 that night, which was barely enough time to wash and dry his clothes before he had to catch a 5 AM flight for his next trip to Pennsylvania the following morning.
As if we didn't get the message, his flight home from that trip was also delayed by several hours. Don't worry, we got it loud and clear. He's not going anywhere until at least September.
—4—
My middle schooler told me her friends play a game where if one of them says something weird you yell "copy!"
And then later when you yell "paste" at a random time they have to repeat it.
I'll keep that in mind for the next time the kids say "You're right, Mom."
—5—
I was doing some online shopping when my 6-year-old walked in, looked at the product images I was browsing, and said, "Why does she have so many feet?"
It was a valid question.
—6—
Today is the last day of my kids' swimming lessons at the high school pool, and I'm proud to say we've been on time every day for two whole weeks. One time we even got there early and my kids literally did not know what to do. I dropped them off and they came back out saying, "No one's in the water!" It was that unprecedented.
While the older kids are in their lessons, I pass the time with my 2- and 4-year-old by letting them bike around on the sidewalk or walking around the school. They've made friends with one of the maintenance guys. One day they saw him up on a ladder running some kind of cord up to the ceiling, and they were mesmerized.
The maintenance guy asked if they wanted to "help" and told them to hold the cord and cut a section off for each of them to take home. They talk about it all the time now and this guy says hi to the boys every time he sees us.
Also, if you ask my 4-year-old what he wants to be when he grows up, he answers "a worker."
—7—
We have a pizza stone in our cupboard that I've never used, even though we make pizza at home all the time.
I thought I'd give it a shot this week, and even though I don't have a paddle, the Internet assured me it would work just fine to assemble the pizza on the counter, slide it onto a baking sheet, and then easily transfer it to the pizza stone.
Lies.
This looked like Jabba the Hut after it was cooked. |
Moving it to the baking sheet was such a disaster I didn't even attempt to put it on the pizza stone. Stupid world wide web. I don't know why I believe a word you say anymore.
8 comments:
I've got a 4-year-old who is on day 4 of languishing in the family room avoiding putting 50 blocks in a wagon. "Put them away before Dad gets home from work and we'll go get doughnuts." Nothing. I don't know where to go from here besides yelling and I really don't think this is worth yelling over.
For your next attempt at your pizza stone, use parchment paper. Roll out your pizza on a sheet of parchment paper right on the counter. Use the backside of a cookie sheet to transfer pizza and parchment to the stone preheated in the oven. Then when it's done baking, slide the pizza on the parchment back onto the cookie sheet. Don't buy parchment from the dollar store, it's terrible. Reynold's brand is great and I loooove these sheets from Amazon since they're precut and great for cookies too. https://www.amazon.com/Zenlogy-Unbleached-Parchment-Baking-Sheets/dp/B06XJHB2YN/ref=sr_1_6?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1532706650&sr=1-6&keywords=parchment+sheets
Parchment is also great for roasting vegetables on in the oven because no clean up! (Do I sound like a commercial yet?)
That Porta potty experience sounds MAGICAL and I'm not even being sarcastic!
And I second the parchment paper recommendation! I like the giant rolls from Costco because you can use it for EVERYTHING and even though it costs money, you'll save that much in time saved during cleanup.
Just so you know, those explosive wipes were not "random". Whenever a person does something, or has in their possession anything, that might be considered "sketchy" that person is targeted for extra attention. The heavy bag raised an alert as did his third trip through security. It happened to me over a can of hairspray (my pitching a fit over having to throw it away didn't help). -Kathy Young
Ok. I am the QUEEN of lazy shortcuts(some work). I oil my pizza stone like crazy, spread the dough on it and bake. This may or may not work at your house. I may also try the clever parchment suggestion above.
Okay, how's this for irony? I totally loved your tip and planned to use it next time, and when I looked in the cupboard the pizza stone that has been in our possession for the last 15 years was BROKEN. Cracked right in half. Whatever.
I was hesitant to come around and jump on the parchment paper bandwagon because of the waste/money, but after seeing how convenient it is I just can't not love it.
Dang it! You brought this on yourself, Phillip!
Get the parchment paper anyway. It isn't that much and lasts forever. When you realize how much less time you spend scrubbing, you will never go back. 👍
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