—1—
Enough with the postpartum hair loss, already! Judging by the walls of my shower, I'm either taking up a collection for Locks of Love or making some kind of demented human hair art.
Phillip thinks it's gross that I plaster my disembodied hair to the walls, but it comes out by the handful when I wash my hair and it's either that or down the drain.
And guess who has to unclog the drains? Phillip, that's who. So really, I'm doing it out of love.
—2—
A friend and I took our kids to a hands-on, indoor-outdoor science and nature museum. We had fun seeing the exhibits, but mostly it was just visiting the restroom.
Seriously, with 11 kids between the two of us, 90% of our trip was either looking for a bathroom, waiting in line for the bathroom, or asking people if they needed to use the bathroom. At least there were two of us so we could tag-team it.
—3—
Have you ever been melting chocolate, and a tiny drop of water gets in it, and the whole thing suddenly turns into a hard, fudgy mess? That's what happened when Phillip was making chocolate-covered pretzels (gluten-free, of course.) It's called seizing.
I love that word because it sounds like such a catastrophic event. Emergency! The chocolate seized!
Which really, it kind of is. I'm not going to pretend that tears weren't shed when it happened to us.
—4—
For you non-hikers, I'll explain how trail systems work: usually there are a few different colored trails, which may intersect each other at certain points. You know which fork to take by following trail markers, which are usually colored metal discs or painted shapes on tree trunks along the trail.
My kids know that to stay on the blue trail, you follow the blue markers. And to get on the yellow trail, you follow the yellow markers.
But you're screwed if you see this like we did on Saturday, which has to be the world's most unhelpful trail marker.
Not telling which way is which color and you can't make me. |
Thank goodness we had a printed map with us, or we might still be in there.
—5—
If you want your lawn covered in potato salad and like to pick up random paper plates and utensils and empty water bottles from the nethermost regions of your yard, I highly recommend inviting my children to your next cookout.
We had a church barbeque over the weekend and after the kids ate and scampered off to play, I looked around and thought, "Oh my gosh! Why do they think they can just leave a huge mess like this just because it's a cookout?"
Then I realized it looked exactly like the dining room at home after meals, so maybe the problem is bigger than I originally thought.
—6—
We've been cleaning out our basement, which is quite a project because for the last 6 years it's become a graveyard for defunct electronics and broken crap we don't know what to do with.
I lobbied hard for just going down there with a giant garbage bag and throwing it all away even if it means paying to dispose of some of it, but Phillip insisted on putting the electronics on eBay to see if we could make some money.
And I'm totally shocked at what people have bought from us. Someone purchased our old VCR for $8, you guys. Our VCR. It's possible that some of you reading this don't even know what that is.
I still can hardly believe it, but at least now I know where we can get rid of our old 8-track player, our butter churn, and our conestoga wagon.
—7—
I mentioned on this blog that a few weeks ago my son cut his head on the coffee table and had it glued back together in the E.R.
This week, this arrived in the mail.
Yes, the envelope was addressed to my 2-year-old. He didn't care. |
On the inside it says, "Thank you for splitting your head open, and also for allowing us to gouge you further in the amount of $427.22. We look forward to servicing you after your next near-death experience!"
16 comments:
That is so fascinating that water getting into the chocolate is called "seizing"! That really does help capture what a truly catastrophic and horrible event it is. The trail marker is hilarious, and I'm glad that y'all had a map-way to plan ahead!
We still use our VCR. The tapes are much harder to destroy than DVD's so many more have survived. Yes, my oldest is so old that he accumulated a large Video tape collection in his first two or three years. We recently had the experience of all the kids running off to play and then a big gust of wind came up and blew the plates and chip bags EVERYWHERE. It was a BBQ for high school FFA students so all the other parents quit having babies a good decade ago and we were quite a scene!
I still use a VCR! Ha! I took it when we were cleaning out my grandpas home along with the old VHS sing a longs and several other VHS movies. I'm cheap and wanted to entertain my 3 year old. The best thing is that it still works great and people don't ask to borrow movies. (We do have a blue ray player too, we just hold on to the VCR so we don't have to buy more dvds
Seized by dismay at your catastrophic event!!
Phillip should thank you!!!
VCR?? I have a VCR/DVD player, cuz my sis gave me all their Veggie Tale tapes. about 50!! It was worth buying the combo player, so now I don't have to buy any Barbie or Disney CDs!!
You have a butter churn!?!? Sign me up! Maybe you could offer it as a giveaway? Heh, heh, heh?
Oh heavens yes the postpartum hair loss. Ew. The bathroom comment about your trip to the museum just cracked me up. Then the reality set in about the use of said public bathrooms with all those children. Then I had a flashback of your port a potty comments in the past. Yikes! I have some adjusting to do. Ha!
I'd like to say we were, but they had some maps at the trail head so I can't take credit. Or can I?
They do last so much longer. We just couldn't stand all the space they were taking up and we've gotten spoiled with the video quality of DVD vs. VHS.
Sorry, you'll have to bid for it fair and square on eBay like everybody else. If it does exist, that is...
You could be lucky and your kids won't want to drag you into every public restroom when they're older. But probably not.
Yes, I have had water get into my melted chocolate projects before and it is a tragedy on a pretty grand scale. WHO BUYS VCRS???? That's so weird.
I'm thinking it might have been the Smithsonian? Or maybe some anthropological society studying how humans used to live?
I am just impressed your children had potato salad on their plates. Mine wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole!
I just unearthed our old VCR from the depths of the back shed - mouse poo and all so it won't be getting listed anywhere - it's destined for the waste recycling station. I bet the funny card didn't lessen the blow of that medical bill any.
I've been doing lots of hiking recently - and saw quite a few confusing signs like that one! Well, at least we know to pack the detailed map every time!
My parents gave us their VCR and my old Disney VHS' when they moved last spring. I feel so strange seeing it sitting in my living room, but also really excited to hook it up one of these days and watch Snow White.
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