Wednesday, May 18, 2016

5 Instagram Posts You Won't See from Me

Our guest post today comes from Katy at Experienced Bad Mom, talking all about Instagram. Friends, I still thought Valencia was just another too-classy-for-me neighborhood in California, so just count your blessings that it's her telling you about this stuff and not me. 

Are you on Instagram? I admit I was pretty much dragged onto it kicking and screaming.

That said, there's a part of me that enjoys my (sporadic) posts on Instagram. Posting a picture there is somehow different than tweeting it, pinning it, or sharing it on Facebook. Plus, it's got those cool filters to play with.

There are 5 common Instagram posts that you will never see from me, though. Just a warning in case you are going to follow me (pretty please) and were really hoping for these types of photos. Nope. Nada. Never.

Indeed, I present the 5 types of Instagram posts you won't see from me:

5 Instagram Posts You Won't See from Me -- Are you on Instagram? Great! Let's be buds. But if you're looking for these 5 kinds of posts, look elsewhere, my friend.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

  1. The naked selfie. A few months ago, Kim Kardashian posted a naked picture of herself on her Instagram account and people were talking. They were talking so much that even I, who doesn't pay attention to Kim Kardashian, heard about it. So let me be clear: you will never see a naked selfie of me on my Instagram account. I like my clothes and I have no desire to be naked, take pictures of myself being naked, and then post pictures of my nakedness, even with those fancy Instagram filters. 
  2. Car seat selfies. Numerous friends and family members have posted pictures of themselves sitting in the driver's seat of their car. How do you take a picture of yourself there? Why do you take a picture of yourself there? This must be some special voodoo magic that only Millennials know how to do and want to do. You know what I like to do when I'm sitting in the driver's seat of my car? Drive my car. 
  3. Gourmet meals. There are some extravagant, finely crafted meals out there. Foi gras with rich balsamic glaze. Tarte flambee with creme fraiche, goat cheese, grand cru gruyere and onion. However, my meals are neither extravagant nor finely crafted. They usually consist of Kraft blue box mac and cheese or turkey hot dogs. 
  4. Stylish outfits. The last time I was on trend was probably 1993 and anyone who remembers the 90s knows that was not a good look. Nowadays I wear business casual to work (boring) and comfy stuff at home (boring). Vogue has never called me for a quote about fashion. Their loss.
  5. Any pictures of me. I'm one of those moms. The one who takes the picture and isn't in it. I'm not bitter and it doesn't bother me at all. It's just the way it it. Plus, it seems like the only pictures of people I see on Instagram anymore are the naked selfies or the car seat selfies and I already covered my stance on those.

There you have it, the 5 Instagram posts you won't see on my account. What will you see? I only post a couple times a week and it's usually pictures of my cat, Scooter, and my kids — if they'll let me. They're cute (especially the cat) in my unbiased opinion.

Sometimes I post solely to think up original #hashtags to go with my pictures. #sofun #followme #whyareweusingsomanyhashtagsanyway  

About the Author:
Katy M. Clark writes a lighthearted blog, Experienced Bad Mom, where she embraces her imperfections as a mom. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram (OF COURSE!).

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  1. Thanks for having me, Jenny! Now I'm off to take a selfie...

  2. Yeah, I never make gourmet food. My food is basic stuff: spaghetti. Tacos. Slices of cake.

    And I rarely have a stylish outfit on.

    1. I think I'd enjoy seeing pictures of cake. You won't be able to see me drooling on my phone so it's all good.

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  4. I'm not gonna lie, I take those driver side selfies when the car is stopped. :P

    1. I must be missing some cool girl Millennial gene! I just don't have it in me to snap those car seat photos, but I see so many people who do.

  5. Lol, I've never done the driver's seat selfie and a naked selfie is never, ever going to appear on my Instagram feed either. I quite like that last hashtag though - that's definitely one that needs to appear more often! :-)

  6. Sometimes the hashtags are the best part!

  7. Oh my gosh the naked selfie! No way! I generally hold fast and firm to the no pictures of me on social media. It is all better that way :)

  8. oh this person doesn't KNOW the magic of the car selfie!! It's common (Millenial? As she points out? ) knowledge that the lighting in the car is the BEST. It's indirect but plentiful, and the windshield seems to filter it in just right! I do hope though that everyone takes them WHILE STOPPED!! Or before they even start driving :P

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