Monday, February 8, 2016

20 Things To Do When You're Trapped Indoors with Small Children

Whether it's because of snow days, finding yourself without a car, being quarantined, or that ridiculous February break my kids have from school, a houseful of stir-crazy kids is a disaster waiting to happen.

Here are 20 things you can do indoors on days when you're all cooped up and ready to go nuts.

This mom nailed snow day struggles exactly with this hilarious post about going stir crazy with your kids! #parentinghumor #funny

  1. Suggest 50+ things to do while your kids shoot all of them down.
  2. Let them play games on your phone until even they're sick of it.
  3. Explain 150 times why you can't go to the park today.
  4. Ask them to help you clean the bathroom, ensuring that you get 15 minutes of uninterrupted time to yourself.
  5. Politely decline their requests to watch a show on the iPad every 7 minutes. All day long.
  6. Search the fridge for some cheese to go with that whine.
  7. Look at the clock and calculate how many hours, minutes, and seconds until bedtime.
  8. Start narrating your kids' fights in your best WWE announcer voice instead of trying to break them up.
  9. Cry.
  10. Surf the Internet for ideas of fun things to do while your kids wail and rend their garments in boredom.
  11. Play "Hobbits" and have four snacks between each meal.
  12. Clean up a ridiculously messy activity you found on Pinterest that your kids lost interest in after 6 minutes.
  13. Repeatedly warn your son that it's not a good idea to practice parkour on the sofa.
  14. Console him after bouncing off the sofa and doing a face plant on the coffee table.
  15. Discover all the things the kids have destroyed around the house and not told you about.
  16. Lead the children in a choral reading of Lord of the Flies.
  17. Text your spouse every 5-10 minutes to see when they're coming home.
  18. Settle sibling disputes by yelling from inside the bathroom.
  19. Ask rhetorical questions like "How did this get broken?" "Who didn't flush the toilet?" and "Why doesn't anyone around here listen to me anymore?"
  20. Throw the last cookie on the table and pretend you're an ancient Roman watching the gladiator games at the Colosseum.

My apologies if you came here from Pinterest seeking helpful ideas. Good luck to you, you're going to need it.

Click to Share:
Unremarkable Files


Katy said...

LOL! "Surf the Internet for ideas of fun things to do while your kids wail and rend their garments in boredom."

Anonymous said...

Your posts always make my day! So funny.

Sarah Howe said...

hahah love this...I came for some ideas and am leaving with a giggle!! I like the Hobbit one xx #thetruthabout

Unknown said...

I have definitely experienced #13 and #14 with your son! The first time being when he was 18 months old

Jessica Powell said...

Hehe, this cracked me up! This is definitely my reality :D #thetruthabout

AiringMyLaundry said...

Love this! I've cried. I usually tell them to read if they're bored. Then I get yelled at.

Samantha P said...

This is like the perfect antidote to all those perky "Things to do with kids" posts Jenny - you really have hit every single nail on the head here. Man I hate winter! #thetruthabout

Kristin said...

I was SURE you weren't going to have my personal favorite on this list, but there it is - #18. Old faithful.

Printing the others and taping to the fridge for future reference. Well done.

Jenny Evans said...

I've been coming to realize lately that I'm sort of the human opposite of Pinterest.

kateonthinice said...

This post will help so many. Let's tell it like it is a bit more often

Victoria Welton said...

Hahaha! This is brilliant. I LOVE the Hobbit idea!! #TheTruthAbout

Megan said...

Ha ha ha this is real life! I've honestly been thinking hard about moving to Florida or Hawaii!