Friday, December 11, 2015

7 Quick Takes about How to Mess with a Baby at Christmastime, Gift Lists I Didn't Know Existed, and Trying My Hardest to Be Embarrassing in Public

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday!


Phillip and our two oldest kids participated in our local community Christmas concert over the weekend. So for me watching the concert with the younger kids was about 20% listening and 80% heading off bickering before they started screaming "STOP TOUCHING ME!!!" in the middle of O Holy Night.

But actually, they were very good.

The toddler amused himself by driving Hot Wheels trucks up and down my very pregnant belly and the preschooler spent the last 15 minutes of the concert splayed in the aisle in her dress in a decidedly unladylike manner.


I will fully admit that to getting misty-eyed while watching my oldest daughter sing with the adults. The sound was so full and she looked so grown-up. I'd even lent her one of my tank tops to wear under her shirt for the concert. It was big on her, but still... am I really sharing clothes with my baby???

Seeing your kids grow up is so weird. When they're little, time creeps along so glacially you think it'll never happen, but one day you reach a tipping point when it starts snowballing, so fast you can hardly catch your breath. You're mostly proud, kind of stunned, and a tiny bit wistful. And 100% the embarrassing mom who starts sniffling in public at odd moments because her baby is growing up.


If you need a laugh, I highly suggest bringing in a Christmas tree and completely decorating it while your baby is sleeping. Their reaction will be priceless.

If you're a baby and need some tips on how to react, the stages of meeting a Christmas tree for the first time are:

  1. Get really squinty. You're mad! There's an intruder in the house.
  2. Be scared. Stand frozen to the spot, pointing at it so it doesn't move.
  3. Then get sort of interested.
  4. Walk around the tree in circles, babbling incoherently and pointing at every single individual light.
  5. Realize over the next few days that you really enjoy the sound of Christmas ornaments being whacked with a metal spatula from the kitchen; you now have a new favorite hobby.


Every year, we take our 4-year-old to get re-tested for her peanut allergy. Initially, her bloodwork was pretty encouraging and we all thought there was a good chance she might grow out of it, but this year's appointment was pretty disappointing.

Same as last year, she started itching and getting hives immediately after being given peanuts. Oh, well.


Who else is frantically trying to finish their Christmas shopping? My 7-year-old is notoriously hard to buy for, so I was helping her grandparents think of a few ideas.

She's into the Wings of Fire book series, so I thought maybe there was some cool book-related merchandise out there she'd like. Google had other ideas.

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

Actually, now I'm curious. What do you get a kid who loves wine? A house arrest anklet, maybe?


If you're going to see Santa at the mall, I highly recommend taking your kids on a weekday afternoon at 2pm. My kids had an early release day from school and there was no line. Zero.

The elf at the front desk, who was actually a very tall woman with multiple facial percings (but who am I to say who's an elf and who's not?), let us go in a special entrance and everything. Definitely would recommend doing it this way.


The older kids didn't want to wear the elf hats Santa gave out as parting gifts, so they gave them to me and their 1-year-old brother.

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
Another thing about your kids getting older is that they're tall enough to give you bunny ears when you take a selfie.

As I was parading my family through the mall with a giant elf hat on my head it occurred to me that I may be mortifying my pre-teen.

"Are you embarrassed to be seen with me wearing this?" I asked her.

"Not really. Are you embarrassed to be wearing it?" She asked back.

"Nope," I told her. "That's the great thing about getting old. You stop being embarrassed by just about everything."

My other daughter pointed out that instead of "Santa's Little Helper," the hat should've read "Santa's Big Fat Helper." Thanks, fruit of my loins.

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Cyndi said...

"Gifts for kids who love wine" is the best thing I've seen all day.

PurpleSlob said...

You are the cutest little big elf ever, yes you are.

Jenny Evans said...

That's what I thought!

Anonymous said...

Lynne from UK. If you think time flies as your children grow older wait till you have grandchildren. Just had Facebook pull up photos and videos of my little man from a year ago when he was just learning to stand- I feel like I blinked and suddenly he's walking and running and dancing and chattering away. It will be good to find the brakes to slow time down!! :D

Peggy said...

Embarrassing your kids has to go to the top of the list of satisfying pay-back experiences. Congratulations! You win!

Unknown said...

The first thing I thought of when it said "gifts for kids who love wine" is European kids. Germany especially. Every major German city has these Christmas markets and every year they have warm wine and an warm punch available with mugs made especially for that year (which you purchase and keep). The drinking age limit is much lower there (to be honest, I don't even know if there is one for things like wine and beer, I'd have to look), so it wasn't uncommon at these Christmas Markets to see kids walking around with mugs of wine.

Anonymous said...

Those kids would have been having Kinderpunsch, a non-alcoholic fruit punch served in the same mugs as mulled wine.
Christine From Germany