—1—
My nut-allergic daughter really wanted a cookie at a Chinese buffet, so I asked a passing waitress what was in them. She led us to the front desk, where I assumed she was going to show us an ingredient list, but I didn't realize she didn't really speak English until she handed us two fortune cookies with a smile and repeated "Cookie."
I stammered an apology, said no thank you, backed away from the extremely confusing situation I'd caused, and spent the rest of our meal avoiding the waitress out of embarrassment.
—2—
This is my mom's dog Crystal. I've never in my dreams imagined a dog so hyper. I'm talking about the kind of hyper where you can't help but wonder if there's demonic possession involved.
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| Frenzied face-licking machine. |
Twice this week, Phillip took Crystal on a 6-mile run to help her burn off some extra energy. He came home tired; the dog didn't.
—3—
For reasons including (but not limited to) the fact that I'm a technophobe, I still don't have a personal Facebook account.
But I did recently set up a Facebook page for Unremarkable Files, and after
Is it weird that my first impulse is to squeal, gather them up in a big hug, and gush, "Me, neither! Stay in the 1990s forever with me — we can get matching Scrunchies to put in our Rachel haircuts and stay up all night trading neon slap bracelets and downloading music for free on Napster!"
—4—
I'm not positive, but I think my older children got a hold of my younger daughter's Ariel coloring and activity book.
Someone completed this message in a bottle to read: "Dear Ariel, please get a brain and stop falling in love with random princes that you see. King Triton."
—5—
Some of my favorite moments from Christmas Eve:
- my son was practically dying of boredom while watching Joy to the World, a religious movie about the first Christmas; when my 3-year-old asked what was going on, he muttered under his breath "Nothin' much."
- the evening prayer was offered by my 3-year-old who repeated every word after Phillip; when he said we were thankful for "the birth of Christ," she opened her eyes and yelled, "Burst? What's 'burst'?"
- I didn't see this American Girl doll take her first ride, but it doesn't look like it ended well:
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| Note the riding helmet under her right kneecap. |
—6—
A few of my favorite Christmas Day moments:
- spending 30 minutes untangling my daughter's hair from her new Flutterbye Fairy wings after the toy's first flight
- hearing my son decide (a little too loudly) that he didn't like almost every present that was given to him (and then watching him play with it all day)
- upon opening a See 'N Spell toy, my 3-year-old asked, "Guess what are them?" (regrettably we hadn't purchased her a toy that taught grammar)
—7—
On Christmas Day we had a big family party, and my kids were all behaving so well. I was starting to feel pretty smug about myself and what an awesome parent I must be to have raised such a well-mannered gaggle of children.
When we all sat down to exchange gifts, my 3-year-old wanted to sit in my chair. In an annoyingly sweet voice, I asked "What's the magic word?" Everyone looked at her expectantly, whereupon she shrieked, "Trade! Get out of that chair!"
Serves me right, I guess.
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