Friday, September 23, 2016

7 Quick Takes about Mystery Admirers, Education about the Criminal Justice System, and Office Supplies Rated NC-17

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday, where I give you (in no particular order) a rundown of the last 7 days. How was your week?

1


I went shopping for a new soccer ball for my daughter. (Full disclosure: by "went shopping" I mean I typed in 'Amazon.com' in my PJs while eating peanut butter with a spoon.)

I realize there are some products where different sizes or colors have slightly different prices, but this seemed a little excessive.

7 Quick Takes about Mystery Admirers, Education about the Criminal Justice System, and Office Supplies Rated NC-17  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

This is helpful for people who are looking for either a $9 soccer ball or an $80 one, but they can't decide which. Don't worry, Wilson's got your back.

2


Two messages popped up in my email inbox that had me a little confused.

In the 'From' field, there was just a random string of numbers at att.com. One said simply "Date night?" and the other said "What do you want for a treat?"

I was getting intrigued at who my secret admirer could be (or, more likely, what kind of weird phishing scam someone was running) until Phillip called later that day and asked if I got his texts.

Apparently his phone emailed me instead of texting me. Oh, and the treat was chocolate chip cookies in a mug with vanilla ice cream. I think it's important that you know that.

3


Historically I haven't been a big believer in going on individual date nights with the kids. We work together and see each other all afternoon and spend quite a bit of time together at home, but for some reason I felt like I needed to start taking each of the kids out recently.

It was the 4-year-old's turn so we went to the grocery store to pick out whatever she wanted from the bulk candy bin, then drove to the park.

She got to decide what we did on the playground, in what order, and where and when we ate the candies. It was the best day ever for her (I know because she was singing at the top of her lungs out the open window in the car) and it only cost me $1.49.

7 Quick Takes about Mystery Admirers, Education about the Criminal Justice System, and Office Supplies Rated NC-17  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
Listening to a preschooler rendition of "There's a cat licking your birthday cake," the most annoying song on YouTube.

While we were at the park I started chatting with some guy, and when I mentioned having 6 kids he literally leaned back like I'd hit him and quickly exclaimed something in Turkish to himself. (I didn't ask if it was a curse or a blessing.)

By the way, I love how he introduced himself: "This is my daughter Gamze and this is my daughter Arwa; we are Turkish." I wish I had so much pride in my identity!

4


We're waging a constant war against nature at our house, and we're largely losing. There are moles burrowing in the yard, squirrels getting in the house, and woodpeckers destroying the trim. I'm not even going to talk about the weeds. If all the species got together I'm sure they could easily force us out and win complete control of the house in less than a day.

Phillip even took a shot at a woodpecker who started pecking at the trim over our garage door with his BB gun. We've become those people.

But it gets better.

He propped up the BB gun on the porch next to the front door and forgot to tell me it was there, so it looked super-welcoming when everyone came over later and dropped their kids off for the co-op preschool I'm running. But hey, it's cool. Some people put a chalk-painted rocking chair or something on their porch, and some people use firearms.

(Actually, we were really embarrassed about this because Phillip is always telling the kids to treat BB guns like real guns. By not, you know, leaving them unattended on the porch like a freaking Pinterest decoration.)

5


My 3rd grader's teacher sends out periodic email updates on what they're doing in class, and I was thrilled to read the part that said "This week we explore the question 'Why are courts an important part of our government?'"

I thought Alright, now we're getting into some real, actual meaty learning! No more of this kindergarten "getting a visit from Mr. M the puppet to tell you all about what 'M' says."

The email continued: "We'll be reading The Trial of Cardigan Jones, a story about a moose wrongly accused of stealing a pie."

This is serious stuff, you guys. Serious stuff.

6


I was also buying some packing tape. Online, of course. (I've almost reached my goal of never having to leave the house again.)

I wanted to get refills for the dispenser we already have, but I couldn't tell if the one I was looking at would fit. There were a few pictures and then a video; I thought the video might show me, so I clicked 'play' and got this:

7 Quick Takes about Mystery Admirers, Education about the Criminal Justice System, and Office Supplies Rated NC-17  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}


Obviously this packing tape video was lewd, lascivious, and completely inappropriate for anyone under 18. I ended up not watching the video, but I did order the tape so it could be pretty interesting when the package arrives and I open it up to see what's really in there.

7


Finally, being a mom is weird.

7 Quick Takes about Mystery Admirers, Education about the Criminal Justice System, and Office Supplies Rated NC-17  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

Because you find plastic pickles and a dime in your laundry.

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13 comments:

  1. Laugh all you want at Cardigan Jones, but just wait until it's YOUR moose unjustly accussed of stealing a pastry!

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  2. The story of meeting the Turkish guy is great :) I think it's neat how it really doesn't take much to make the day of a little kid. When I was young, my parents would do those individual "dates" with us kids, too. Getting a $1 cone or other cheap treat was always really exciting because it was the one time that you got either mom or dad to yourself!

    Lol at least the third graders are taking a step in the right direction and learning about courts in some way! Maybe they'll graduate to actual meaty court cases after Christmas break? Or once they hit the fourth grade?

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I'm sure it's Cardigan Jones today, Roe v. Wade tomorrow!

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  3. Oh these made me laugh. Especially the bb gun. Moving from the big city to a tiny town, I was determined to keep up my standards and not allow our front yard to look like a junk yard. Fast forward three short years later and we have a rusty - artistic! - piece of farm equipment next to the driveway. The chain broke and it won't move. And that's the most respectable thing. Also when my husband moved his guns to a safe last weekend to be out of reach of our toddler, I could not believe how many there were. Just call me farmer Jane now. Oh, and rubber boots have become normal footwear even when it's not raining.

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  4. The bb gun story is hysterical.

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  5. I think that BB gun might just start a new Pinterest trend. The regular cutesy Halloween porch decorations are getting boring, anyway. ;)

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  6. I can't wait to hear about the arrival of the lewd, lascivious tape!!

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    Replies
    1. It came yesterday and I was very disappointed. Nothing the least bit exciting about it, go figure.

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  7. Last week I found a melted Chapstick in the dryer. Oh boy was that fun! Not. I love that picture of your sweet girl singing out the window. So cute!

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  8. Oh my gosh this post gave me a good laugh! I'm a little intrigued but mostly scared about what the video included for the packaging tape! ;)

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    Replies
    1. Okay, so I watched it and it was so lame. Probably the most boring montage of a bunch of still shots of tape I've ever seen. It did have a catchy song in the background, though.

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  9. Amazon is struggling a bit, isn't it? That's hilarious. I've seen some crazy price ranges like that and it makes no sense.

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