Are you on Instagram? I admit I was pretty much dragged onto it kicking and screaming.
That said, there's a part of me that enjoys my (sporadic) posts on Instagram. Posting a picture there is somehow different than tweeting it, pinning it, or sharing it on Facebook. Plus, it's got those cool filters to play with.
There are 5 common Instagram posts that you will never see from me, though. Just a warning in case you are going to follow me (pretty please) and were really hoping for these types of photos. Nope. Nada. Never.
Indeed, I present the 5 types of Instagram posts you won't see from me:
- The naked selfie. A few months ago, Kim Kardashian posted a naked picture of herself on her Instagram account and people were talking. They were talking so much that even I, who doesn't pay attention to Kim Kardashian, heard about it. So let me be clear: you will never see a naked selfie of me on my Instagram account. I like my clothes and I have no desire to be naked, take pictures of myself being naked, and then post pictures of my nakedness, even with those fancy Instagram filters.
- Car seat selfies. Numerous friends and family members have posted pictures of themselves sitting in the driver's seat of their car. How do you take a picture of yourself there? Why do you take a picture of yourself there? This must be some special voodoo magic that only Millennials know how to do and want to do. You know what I like to do when I'm sitting in the driver's seat of my car? Drive my car.
- Gourmet meals. There are some extravagant, finely crafted meals out there. Foi gras with rich balsamic glaze. Tarte flambee with creme fraiche, goat cheese, grand cru gruyere and onion. However, my meals are neither extravagant nor finely crafted. They usually consist of Kraft blue box mac and cheese or turkey hot dogs.
- Stylish outfits. The last time I was on trend was probably 1993 and anyone who remembers the 90s knows that was not a good look. Nowadays I wear business casual to work (boring) and comfy stuff at home (boring). Vogue has never called me for a quote about fashion. Their loss.
- Any pictures of me. I'm one of those moms. The one who takes the picture and isn't in it. I'm not bitter and it doesn't bother me at all. It's just the way it it. Plus, it seems like the only pictures of people I see on Instagram anymore are the naked selfies or the car seat selfies and I already covered my stance on those.
There you have it, the 5 Instagram posts you won't see on my account. What will you see? I only post a couple times a week and it's usually pictures of my cat, Scooter, and my kids — if they'll let me. They're cute (especially the cat) in my unbiased opinion.
Sometimes I post solely to think up original #hashtags to go with my pictures. #sofun #followme #whyareweusingsomanyhashtagsanyway